Is it worth dating someone with bipolar?

[prada]

I liked him but sometimes he acts very hyper and unlogical that's how he told me he has bipolar. I am not sure its severity though. Is it worth it or waste of time?

[Finchie40]

From my personal experiences dating a bipolar girl , my advice to you is Run , I know it’s something they can’t really control but sadly you will never feel happy or content for a long period of time , because the second they have an episode , you honestly don’t know if it’s their bipolar talking or it’s actually them talking , It leaves a constant question mark over your head , basically not knowing what they are saying is legit or just their mental disorder is talking. I honestly felt like I was in a relationship with Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde , She would be sweet and loving and caring to me then out of no where I was a piece of shit , and she hated me with a passion l. I would walk away and then she come chasing me back , after a few times of this happening I threw in the towel and said fuck this

[Baublebar234]

100% agree with this!!! I never had a relationship with someone who is diagnosed with bd… only a friendship and even that alone was truly draining. I know they can’t control some of the episodes, but I felt like I was treated horribly and always questioned the friendship also. Me and this person are cordial now (hello, a few laughs and goodbye in public), but I had to put a HUGE boundary of not letting them come back over and over after them doing me dirty constantly from their episodes. I know it’s not their fault but also, respectfully we shouldn’t bear the brunt of being treated less than.

[V_Injector]

Great take on it. I never dated one, but had to work with one, and that bitch would just go off on some retard shit out of nowhere.

[Finchie40]

Yea it’s sadly a disorder that can take a toll on someone that doesn’t have it. The girl I was with would say vicious things to me like she had no filter what so ever. Leaving me with a question mark thinking is this girl being serious or is this just her mental illness talking? She was so good at pushing every button in me to set me off , and stress me out and embarrass me in front of other people , to the point I had no other choice but to get away from her. Talk about toxic , she was beyond. I did feel bad for her , but for my own sanity I had to distance myself from her and get away. And told her she needs serious help and that I can’t be with someone that loves me one minute than hates my guts the next , pretty much never knowing what I said to her or what I did to her to piss her off. She also made me feel like she was cheating on me from the way she yelled at me and at times stormed out of the house. , Like she was just saying those things to me to give her an excuse to walk away. At times I felt I could handle it because I did some
Research on it. But no fucking way unless I wanted to lose my mind as well , because when she wasn’t having an episode she would be sweet and loving to me and turn into the girl I first met. That’s when I would have a serious talk with her and tell her she needs help , she would tell me she didn’t remember saying all the things that she told me , like I was crazy or something, I said do I need to start recording you , so I can show you proof that you change into this completely other nasty person? Every time I left her , she would
Come chasing me back and apologizing , a few times I did go back to her because I felt bad but it got to a point I couldn’t and told her it’s best to go out separate ways and just remain friends , which we are sort of now

[Baublebar234]

Hellllll no. That sounds terrible!!! And wow them embarassing us in front of people is something we have in common too. Like even tho I forgave and be cordial now, it’s still in the back of my head of what they did that I will never forget. I’m so sorry you experienced that !!! (Quite frankly even worse than a lot others too). I feel bad for people with bd (to an extent) bc yes you can’t control it. But like you said best, we never know if it’s an episode or if that’s really them lashing out. And we shouldn’t have to bear the brunt to that mistreatment. It’s good to hear that you got out when you did and go your separate ways.

[Finchie40]

Yea it was a horrible experience and a lesson learned to check girls’ medicine cabinets before I go any further with them lol. I am laughing about it now but I wasn’t laughing then.. The crazy thing I forgot to mention is they don’t remember most the shit they said to you as well , looking at you like you are the one that’s crazy , it’s almost like being with someone that has Alzheimer’s disease, my ex would embarrass me and say horrible things in front of friends and whoever and I would be like WTF are you fucking serious? When I finally had alone time with her I would be like why the fuck are you bashing me and putting me down in front of everyone? And she would be like I didn’t say that, i don’t know what you are talking about , like I was the one that was crazy , I said everyone heard what you said? , what is your problem? I don’t know what you are talking about. That’s when I knew it was time to dump her ass , so if you want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t really remember anything about your relationship? , then that’s the person for you , She would forget things that we did together 2 days ago

[Baublebar234]

So not only she was bipolar, she was manipulative AND a gaslighter? That’s a true recipe for disaster. I don’t blame you for checking cabinets either LOL. Listen protect your peace AND your sanity. A significant other should bring peace and NOT problems!!!

[Finchie40]

Exactly , just finding that girl is hard to find these days , sadly to say , I feel social media played a big part on damaging the foundations of a relationship

[V_Injector]

Waste of time. You will be dealing with that bullshit continuously and instead of owning it and making changes, he gave it a name and owns it as a part of his identity. It's not going to change and that's a major sign that it's never going to change.

You really want to be dealing with that long term? Imagine growing old with this guy where the looks fade and the mutual physical attraction is gone... would you enjoy that behavior out of him? I mean if you already don't like it, then I'm going to say you won't like it later either.

[Anonymous]

As I read on all these comments & also the question about this male who had been possibly trying to find a more appropriate way , in a relationship with male felt hurt and also embarrassed about how he had to tell this female who , makes me feel like you did not care much since you place in yout main question about it being a " waste of time " which makes many others who deal with other on uncurable mental health and even cancer. Which makes me feel sorry for this male who probably would rather not want to be judged by some person who he might care about. Sorry if I told how I view this question.

[laurieluvsit]

No. Not serious dating.

I have it and I would not get serious with anyone for their benefit.

I don't want to do that to anyone.

I may have a different subset of it than he has but none of them end well for normal people.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you anticipate having children in the future?

[Flatmanlewis]

No. It was not in my experience. I dated a woman who was diagnosed bipolar disorder and it was horrible. The manic phase was a wild ride - sometimes fun and sometimes bad - but the depressed phase was absolutely horrible. There was no predictability to it and either phase could last for weeks or months. When she was on a good phase she would stop taking meds since she self-diagnosed she didn’t need them (since she felt good) so when the bad days hit they hit hard. Meds take time to have an affect so she would start taking them but it was pointless at that point. It was like trying to put on a life jacket after you’re already drowning.


I eventually had to walk away and it was a wasted period of time in my life. The unpredictably & instability was horrible.


Having said all that, if someone is mature and realistic about their situation AND follows the treatment plans as directed, then it probably could be an entirely different experience.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’m not a fan of the term “special needs”. Having needs isn’t special. Everyone has needs and if you consider that most of us have needs that are somewhat to completely different from other people’s needs, then everyone’s needs are special.
Intimacy is trusting someone with your special needs, and them trusting you with theirs. As long as you don’t expect to be able to “fix” them and they don’t expect to be fixed by you, recognized disorders are no different than sexual proclivities or emotional vulnerabilities. It’s just a different set of needs. As long as you can accept that, help to fulfill some of their needs, bring joy to their life and you believe that they can contribute meaningfully to the joy in your life, then it’s “worth it” to date them. Too many people go into relationships expecting too much and communicating too little. THAT is the point of failure, not the nature of their needs.

[exitseven]

I dated somebody that had been abused by her parents as a kid and her brother did weird stuff to her too. I think she was bi polar and maybe an alcoholic. She would be a really sweet kid most of the time buy every few weeks she would just go crazy. She would say the most mean things to me and sometimes she would hit me. once she bit me so hard I still have the scar. After she smashed up her car I wanted her to see a shrink. She got so mad she would not answer my calls and she moved and told her old roommates not to tell me where she went. I never saw her again. If she would have gone to counseling i would have stuck it out with her.

[theungirl]

As some who probably Bipolar, not unless they are actively going to therapy or getting help. I personally wouldn't want to have a committed relationship until I can fix myself. I don't even like my own presence so I wouldn't burden anyone else with mine if I have the choice. Though someone who is actively getting help would be able to control there emotions since they are learning techniques to help self regulate.
Mental illness doesn't define a person unless they let it.

[Reem12345reem]

if u don't have the mental/emotional capacity and space for that then don't
If ur sure that u can stay calm and it won't effect u (which in most cases isn't true) than no
And the fact that he asking that also means that u don't have that ability to handle him so no
And u shouldn't feel obliged to that bc we all have our own problems so if ur not comfortable than no

[SolitarySolace]

No, I once dated/was in a relationship with a woman who had both borderline personality and bipolar disorder. I don’t think I was ever more unhappy in my life than when I was with her. The only thing that kept me with her was the fact that she was drop dead gorgeous… which just made it hurt that much more when she cheated on me.

[Anonymous]

How old is he? Usually, it's worse when they are younger because that is when one of their symptoms starts. Usually, they have to do something about it in their early 20s. But if he is doing nothing about I would say you should just leave because he doesn't care how it affects the people around him.

[SYTHOX]

Yes if she/he has bipolar they might has cold. at least say 'they're bipolar' and they don't "have bipolar", of course being bipolar can be hard for people to be with sometimes but I'm sure its worth it for some. Mental problems aren't for everyone though

[Lynx122]

Well does he have meds? I live next to a guy who has bipolar and he's very calm. But other people can be unpredictable. Does he have medication? If it's in a manageable range I'd give it a try you can always still break up.

[Anonymous]

It's not everyone's cup of tea because sometimes it can be hard for both parties involved. It has its own challenges. But, it's ultimately up to you. Do you love him a lot? Do you want to stay with him no matter what? Do you both want to work through it together? Good luck.

[Mr_twoface]

Do the reasearch and read all about dating someone with bipolar, see the signs when dating him, and let your gut and heart tell you what is the right path for you.

[kaozpiper]

It's only okay if he/she has control over it. I might have it, but I've trained myself to be able to control it when I'm in front of people, especially someone I care about. It comes out when I'm alone so that's still something to work on, but it'll never come out publicly.

[Iron_Man]

You have to have a lot of patience because believe me, you will have to deal with it, but if you really love the Person and they are loyal to you and they mean well it’s worth it

[sean1234]

I would think so. Doesn't everyone have some kind of problem? Otherwise the person is arrogant.

[Iron_Man]

@sean1234 yes

[Anonymous]

Telling you from experience of in the past “talking to” a bipolar guy and having been with a man with anger management issues…. its not worth it at all. You will be better off without him

[wiltingrosepetal]

You'll need a lot of patience. If you're don't have that, you shouldn't attempt that relationship

[DextroShade]

I would never do it, because these people have habit of wrecking their own lives and I wouldn't want mine wrecked along with theirs.

[JacobJordan]

Medication for it is readily available.

[laly520]

its not for everyone

[dudeinohio]

It's ok if they are on their meds.