Guys, would you still date the girl you like/love without sex for the moment?

Question

Guys, It is naive from my side to believe I'll find a genuine guy, who likes cuddling/going out with me and deep thinking without sex at the beginning? I'd love to get to know better someone but for several reasons it is not the right time for the act. Would you still be interested in a girl if you like her after hearing this? And should I tell him or not eventually?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly these mirror my thoughts on the subject as well. I'd want to make sure I knew my partner and was comfortable before taking such a big step in the relationship.

TadCurious · Accepted Answer

I would still date the girl. I would agree with and respect her feelings about this.

V_Injector · Answer

This "date" word confuses me... but if I exchange that to "hang out" then what would be different than anything a platonic friend could offer to make me want to hang out?

If you're not offering sex or enticing it... then you gotta be awesome for me to hang out.

Let us be real though... dude is probably drooling for sex and you don't want that with him. Am I right?

Guys, would you still date the girl you like/love without sex for the moment?

I'm going to be real... I suspect you of being the girl that just wants her attention and emotional tampon orbiter guy... call him a friend even though you know he wants to fuck and nothing else really... stop it if you're that. Or keep telling him about your man problems and see where it goes.

Beta males are pathetic... girls like what I suspect you are, or onlyfans sex workers wouldn't exist if beta bitch males were not around.

I want you tho think about this... after he has a good conversation to you... he probably pumps baby gravy into a happy sock about it. Good luck on your endeavor.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes if she is honest and caring to me and treats me respect , than yes , I have no problem with getting to know her first before having sex with her , I don’t really put a time limit on sex to be honest , if her and I have great chemistry and connection together and we both want the same things that’s pretty much all that matters Honesty is important to me , a girl that is honest is a huge turn on to me , because sadly there isn’t many honest people out there , Most people just say what they think someone else wants to hear because they are infatuated by the person but really they aren’t honest . Me personally would rather be with a girl that is honest with me from the start that told me what she was really looking for , basically giving me a choice on whether I want to continue dating her or not , , so if she was upfront to me that she didn’t want sex right away , I would respect her decision until she felt comfortable, , I wouldn’t want to have sex with a girl that felt like she was forced to have sex period. as long as she is honest with me and she isn’t stringing me along while weighing her options , I would respect her decision. Now if she tried having me wait weeks to have sex with her , I would feel she wasn’t really into me and the passion I had for her would slowly disappear if she kept making excuses not to be intimate with me

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Be a little more explicit and you'll get better answers.

Are you saying that you would not want to have sex until you were married, or you don't want casual sex and you would wait until the relationship was committed and monogamous, or are you saying something else?

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Similar questions have been asked. Short answer, no.

The real answer can be complicated. It really depends on the couple and what their expectations are in the relationship.

Generally, men will want sex. Personally, if I start to date someone, and she's only been in say 2 long term relationships and has never been involved in the hookup culture or casual sex dating, then I'm willing to feel the relationship out. Her behavior would be consistent to a belief sex is sacred and only available in a committed dynamic.

Now, if I find out she has a highly promiscuous past, lots of hookups and one night stands but refuses to have sex because of some bullshit reason of " I see a real future with you, so you must wait" then HELL NO.

Now why? It tells me I do not excite her on that level and she is just looking for the safe provider type and I am not really her first choice. At that point I'm out, and we are done.

Now, I firmly believe in having such conversations early. That way no one is wasting their time trying to make a relationship work where the two of them are absolutely not on the same page and bad sexual mismatches can certainly cause further issues.

AJR78 · Answer

Here are the issues from a male point of view. Women always have more options than men. Always. Even women that don't fully realize or understand the power they have. If the guy is hot enough to you and you're literally getting turned on in his presence, nature will run it's course no matter what you're programming your brain for at this moment. Lets say a guy is willing to go along with your boundaries. You and him go out and spend time together for months and it never gets physically intimate. Then one day a better looking and more confident guy hits on you right in front him. You know what you're gonna do? Get with the better looking guy and not wait. Human nature is hard to reprogram or resist, especially lust. At my age, I'd actually be happy with a girl with that mindset because I don't necessarily want to rush into intimacy right away and would just be excited to have the friendship and companionship of a pretty girl. Even if it never evolved into a relationship and just remained a platonic friendship. A 20 year old me would not have felt that way, bnut age and wisdom can change any mindsets.

Sjoerd85 · Answer

In the past I dated a girl for a long time who really wasn't very open for any kind of intimacy. I kept thinking she just needed some more time, but it never happened. After about a year I lost interest in having a relationship with her, as we were still stuck where you would expect to be after just 2-3 dates. She basically pretended to be interested in me, but in fact just friendzoned me.

After that I decided; if there is no obvious sexual interest from both persons after the first month of dating... It's probably not going to work out. I am not saying "have sex now" when that month is up, but if there is still no interest from one or both persons to go all the way, I'd say that's reason to get worried.

When I finally met my wife, she saw me naked from the start of our fourth date (I'm a nudist), we were playing with each other within a few weeks, and we had sex in the second month. She actually wanted to move faster than me, but I did make it very clear I was definitely interested. I just wanted to build it up slowly as I knew sex feels much better when you have extensively explored each other in foreplay first.

sean1234 · Answer

Yes. When I see a woman a really like, I'm like wow☺️😭. Thinking how wonderful she is. Having sex doesn't even register in my mind.

The problem these days among other things, people are spoiled beyond belief. It hurts I think to be outgoing and how do you put it? Confident? As in she's mine, yeah baby😚😙, but without the baby, lol. Then there's sex without the marriage and questions like this with people like the asker complaining everywhere.

To note, God created marriage and its just as literally between man and woman as it is symbolically between man and woman.

PizzaDaddyo · Answer

Fuck yes!… I guess without the fucking right away. For I girl I LOVE.. In a heartbeat, would love to date my crush exclusively and even wouldn’t mind taking my time until she is ready for it. Every “date” I had ended up with some kinda of hook up situation where the girl hinted heavy for me to make a move and I always did. I don’t think I wouldn’t make a move after getting a solid hint at the heat of the moment because that opportunity might not happen again with said person. So in my opinion it kinda depends on how comfortable the girl is with the escalation aspect. There’s no way by six months  stuff   won’t happen naturally without a solid reason. Like a serious fucking reason that keeps her from having sex you like a rare condition or something lol

Seinna · Answer

It depends strictly on the person and how much they like you.

Experience tells me that if they are not willing to wait then they're not worth it to begin with. Move on. Women spoiled men with easy sex and if there is any way of fixing it, it's by saying "no" loud and clear and moving on when the other person doesn't respect your boundaries.

To be fair to guys though - if you're not planning on having sex, refrain from making out and cuddling as well as it seems to be more difficult for men than for women to control themselves once things get that far...

Confucious900 · Answer

Yes I would. I was raised old school by my granpa and granma and mother. I believe in making a connection first, to see if there really is something there before I jump into bed with someone, and not have sex with them first, and then build something or a relationship on top of what feelings the sex created.

I am not wired that way. I just can't. I dont do one night stands and I dont do quick flings or rebounds. I much rather prefer a real connection and then have sex, and then continue from there. This is how its been done for years with the older generations. Before tech and shit.

In todays life, the amount of effort a guy has to do these days to get sex is hardly anything at all. Where as your parents or even their parents had to work and really build something with each other.

As times changed society and influences from other people and friends have created a much more sexualized younger generation

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Yeah, I'd be okay waiting, unless I felt I had others waiting for my honest attention, like dates.
But like, I am not a player so I can't speak for those. And although I catch many eyes and interests I still fail to land anything from it. So like, I'm a bit special there, being bold yet a bit traumatized and laggi'n behind a bit.
Just saying that, I am used to not getting laid. But I really do value close contact, intimacy among friends and all, so that is pretty much half of what someone like you'd offer.
In that context I would love to date like that for up to a year maybe, just hanging out, cuddling, kissing.

After like a year, if we seem far off or the passion is dwindeling, I might think about suggesting opening the relationship up. Because I am not 20 anymore and my time feels much more precious.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

Yes. I would (have) but only if a lot of specific circumstances lined up:
A/ I saw her as long term relationship material up front.
B/ It was that time in life when I (or any man) starts taking about the quality of the woman he’s with and something more substantial is part of the goal.
C/ She was clear and upfront with her expectations early.
D/ She understood that “cuddling” is going to create proximity and proximity is going to create moments where that line may get very blurry and she’s going to have to be able to accept that I may have a hard time with that. In other-words; if you rub the lamp the genie is going to come out. .

BadApple69 · Answer

I think that’s ok. The issue for me is cuddling, kissing and touching is all a turn on. It’s hard for a guy to do those things and not want sex. Are you currently against all sex acts?
So I see it this way… either you keep it just a friendship (no cuddling, kissing or touching) or you consider how far you are willing to go like will you do oral sex with him?
For a relationship sex is important… it’ll bring people closer to share intimacy.

To answer your question…. I would date a girl without sex BUT the times I am with you I’ll want to be in her… and that desire could cause frustration and even start some fights.

Lynx122 · Answer

I am doing this. My girlfriend is far away. Honestly I like long distance more because she's quite a handful when we were together but she's really sweet. When we're apart and I can get my alone time but also talk to her it's really nice. I think sex is less important to me than other people. To me sex is important when everything else is going well it's like a bonus for other people it's the number 1 priority. Like when we were together and she wouldn't leave me alone or give me a break some guys would still have sex with her but I didn't because I was fed up and stressed and I wasn't feeling well so I didn't want sex. I was single for a long time before so I got used to not having sex so I only want to have sex if I trust that person and I'm ok with being around them a lot etc.

RingOfFire · Answer

It's not an impossible thing to ask at all. If a guy has the right intentions, he will be willing to wait. As a matter of fact, I think it is wise for you to see if he will wait early on so you can rule a guy out if he is not.

I don't think it's necessary to say anything to him early on. Eventually he will probably either bring it up or try to seduce you into sex. If you are not ready you can tell him what you feel about it then.

But keep in mind that most men consider sex an important part of the relationship even if their intentions are good. If you feel you will never want to reach that point, then that could be an issue and you may want to have a conversion with him after maybe a few dates to let him know that you don't ever seeing yourself get to that point (or whatever your feelings are about the subject) so you don't mislead him.

Goahead76 · Answer

This is a complicated question, and I wish I could give you a simple more personal answer, but I will try to break it down.
So what part of the world you live in matters. Most men in US or western/NATO countries are aware even if only vaguely that if they commit to a long term relationship or marriage they will likely end up at some point going through the legal shredder and destroyed financially.
Therefore with nothing as an end goal or made to risky most men are naturally going to be averse to relationships and stick to just sex or nothing at all.
Waiting on sex used to be the norm at least to a certain point.

liggang · Answer

In theory absolutely yes.

But in practice absolutely no. My heart wants love and will wait.

But I know the true nature of women. You don't wait for no woman because she doesn't make the men she truly wants, wait.

It's only after she had her fun and wants to settle down that she wants a man to wait.

No thanks. I'm not your beta provider.

Begging4giggles · Answer

Actually, I seem to be either/both sex repulsed/asexual. I still experience sexual ATTRACTION, just with zero desire for the actual getdown itself. Plus, romantically I'm VERY active as far as desire goes. You add all that to the facts that the girl I like is not only fictional, but couldn't physically exist even if she wasn't, and you get one VERY large bucket of HELL YEAH. Well, assuming that ROMANCE isn't out the window with sex at least.

molonski2 · Answer

Perhaps you should try Tantra type proceedings for a few months? This may answer your desires..
But the idea of saying you will Cuddle / Kiss all night , then he goes and pulls himself off in the shower , I don't think that's a good idea.
You need to give him. something very sexual and very enticing , to make the wait really worth it.
It's not that healthy for a young female either.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Well I've been waiting for that from she 18 to the present day age 30 and ongoing. So I'm just thinking to myself, for someone sno tmoys 18-24 like yourself lady, my train has probably left without me hahaha. Yet there's always my continuing my enjoying of single life bliss and for all I know eventually, eventually, in the next life or other religion reincarnation I'll be, reward devilishly 😈😈😈😋 mmm big tits petite pale 20s healthy woman, hot diggity 🌭👀

SomothErgai · Answer

Simple solution. He should have sex with other people while you are waiting to get to know him.

This way you get your wish and he respects your boundaries and he gets to have the physical intimacy that he needs while you wait around to give it to him yourself.

Or is it that you want to get everything YOU want and he has to just deal with it because his needs aren't as important as yours are?

Bricealan · Answer

I dated a girl I liked very much for a long time... without sex. We traveled to Nassau, Las Vegas, went to concerts, dined out, etc. Only had sex after a long period together. We worked in the same office for a long time.

I have had several 'sexless' woman partners and had no problem with it, as the relationship was a reward in itself for me... I just did not push the sex issue, since being past the point in life of not having a perpetual erection.

RetroReviews · Answer

Yes there's more to life and a relationship then sex. If you're in a relationship for the sex then that's the wrong reason. It's about being there for that person and caring about them and enjoy spending time with them and doing other things spending quality time together.. in sickness and health for better for worse for richer for poorer

tzdc21 · Answer

Ideally, yes that's the way it should go, keyword SHOULD. But here's the problem, the dating atmosphere is so screwed up to the point where that hardly ever works anymore, and both men and women are to blame for that. From ONS, to hookup culture, to some guys getting it for free, and some guys having to wait, to girls not trusting the right guys, to girls quickly trusting the wrong guys, it's all a big mess.

Princesspeach1411 · Answer

Not a guy, but just an honest opinion. If he is the right guy, he will respect your wishes and would love you regardless of whether you have sex or not. If this is a huge issue for him then he probably isn’t your person!

ohmyguy · Answer

Its highy ill advised to bail at a nos moment when you know for sure your just shy of a few many monents.. n bammo... you be all out of ammo she"ll keep pulling that trigger sohan want you be going om a wow to ow so fast when she warms up she'll gets to be faster you ll only really Win when you learn how to ride her.. so best to take easy its the right answer. Rushing it beleive me what a fucking Diaster... building a better bond will get you what your after.

Blacke · Answer

Yeah, of course a guy too needs to know the girl well first. To me love sometimes go beyond mating. That depends on the partner im with. Appreciating the outer beauty n sharing hearts is essential if it is love. Deeper pleasure comes later when the right time arrives.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

Personally as a desensitized virgin I don't care about sex anymore. All I want is a woman who actually cares and doesn't wase my time by making empty excuses about why she can't go on a date with me instead of telling me she isn't interested. I'm either used for my money on 1 date or my time is wasted by a uninformative, excuse making, time wasting woman. I have had only bad experiences attempting to date women. I'm done trying.

george201 · Answer

If she wants to have it in marriage i don't have a problem as long as i love her we are together.. if i made sex a first priority and the determine factor of our relation then i don't respect her or see her as a human rather i prioritise pleasure over love with my partner.

Twalli · Answer

If you're a virgin, we don't have sex for 6 months (although I will finger you and eat you out frequently), half that if you aren't. I will wait for 2 years if you're not ready after the 3–6-month mark. After that, I dump you.

I won't propose before a 3-year minimum, so we're having regular sex before I propose.

HawkPerception · Answer

Sex is an important part of the relationship for most guys. It makes us feel much closer and accepted. If it's a few months, then I'd probably be okay with it, but if she's still too uncomfortable at that point, I don't think I'd continue dating.

Asb_Samson · Answer

From my viewpoint, I believe in marriage before engaging in physical intimacy. However, in order for me to consider marrying someone, I must genuinely like or love them and ensure they demonstrate respect, care, and honor in the relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

That's a loaded question. Of course I would. The question is, how long?

There's an old saying "If you dated her for a month and haven't had sex yet, congratulations! She's having sex, just not with you".

You don't like being the fool, guess what hun. Neither does he.

To answer your question. Not likely. If this is a common problem for you you are very bad at picking quality men. This will most likely always be an uphill battle for you. Good luck!

HighValue · Answer

For how long? And did she have a past of casual sex, or is she waiting because she is actually a good quality girl that wants an emotional connection first?

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

I have dated a gentleman like that, therefore you can also. Men like that are still there, just hiding.. 😁

kaozpiper · Answer

YES. In something now where that is sort of the case, but I don't want sex either. An emotional bond and cuddling are so much better than sex for me (plus no post but clarity to make me sad).

I don't believe sex needs to be involved at all, because a lack of lust leaves room for so much more genuine love.

If you want sex at some point, this is a good way to filter out the guys who just want to use you vs guys who genuinely like you.

Billlewis · Answer

Oh, most definitely. Call me crazy, but I firmly believe that guys treat women much better when they're not having intercourse with them.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is a good test for a man, and a test most men will fail miserably.

Anonymous · Answer

I need to know she truly has feelings for me and this isn’t some convenient bs excuse to eventually permanently friend zone me.

I had two beyond agonizing incidents in my youth. Women know how idea how insulting that is for a man.

Somoneelse · Answer

I would still date the girl yes. Simply because I'm not interested in sex, especially at dates. I think you are very mature to first want to get to know someone better before.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Depends on the age of you and the guy. A teenage early 20's guy isn't getting laid much to begin w/ so they are going to be more likely to wait. Once a guy gets into early 30's plus sex is going to be expected.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Very tough to take back what’s already been given. Maybe if I didn’t have someone, was head over heels for someone new, and we hadn’t yet… I guess I wouldn’t have a problem if she didn’t want to fuck but was willing to suck my cock everyday.

Anonymous · Answer

it's very very difficult and really giving lots of difficulties as a man.

for me regular sex very much important... but once I love her try for 4 months maximum..

I prefer marry the girl to love, rather than love the girl to marry.

so after marriage it's trust I will be

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Absolutely! I have never pressured a woman into doing something she was uncomfortable doing!

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes, no sex is fine but if you have done that in the past together and then she cuts you off of course the guy is gonna want to know what’s going on and yes, I can wait until marriage

scooogy · Answer

I'm just like you, it takes time to have enough trust for this.

MicahRaine · Answer

The right guy will be happy to wait until you're ready.

BaronVonBarron · Answer

Ofcourse I would still date such girl, if I was looking for a permanent relationship. Actually it would increase her value in my eyes.

Paul09 · Answer

Yes, if I really like her and want to build a relationship. No problem. Waiting a few months, connecting on a mental level first is the way to go.

Fireguy17 · Answer

sure, sex isn't everything, but no sex forever, probably not.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

It’s possible because you’re establishing the romance

JHAYES317 · Answer

Depends on how long? 3 - 4 dates sure…MAYBE 5 dates…beyond that I’d really have to have feelings for them

hotake · Answer

Yes, why not. that would mean she's more serious and would not offer herself just to anybody like others do.

SunnyRS · Answer

A few years ago I would have said no, but now I have quit sex for a while myself so I don't see any problem with a girl not wanting sex.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Um, duh. I'm a Christian. That's literally what we believe is the right way of doing things.

Whitedog1 · Answer

Sex early in a relationship is a deal breaker. Sex is a symbol of serious commitment on both sides.

Bobby88t · Answer

I love cuddling and i didn't care sex because im inpotent for years. I like take care and foot massage or paint your nails

Anonymous · Answer

I have the same opinion  Sex is not the top priority at all when you're trying to get into a aerious relationship with someone

SYTHOX · Answer

Wait are relationships supposed to start with sex? Who knew

Danisgivingit · Answer

Yes. Always willing to wait for the right person

Guys, would you still date the girl you like/love without sex for the moment?

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