Guys, It is naive from my side to believe I'll find a genuine guy, who likes cuddling/going out with me and deep thinking without sex at the beginning? I'd love to get to know better someone but for several reasons it is not the right time for the act. Would you still be interested in a girl if you like her after hearing this? And should I tell him or not eventually?
Honestly these mirror my thoughts on the subject as well. I'd want to make sure I knew my partner and was comfortable before taking such a big step in the relationship.
I would still date the girl. I would agree with and respect her feelings about this.
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This "date" word confuses me... but if I exchange that to "hang out" then what would be different than anything a platonic friend could offer to make me want to hang out?
If you're not offering sex or enticing it... then you gotta be awesome for me to hang out.
Let us be real though... dude is probably drooling for sex and you don't want that with him. Am I right?
I'm going to be real... I suspect you of being the girl that just wants her attention and emotional tampon orbiter guy... call him a friend even though you know he wants to fuck and nothing else really... stop it if you're that. Or keep telling him about your man problems and see where it goes.
Beta males are pathetic... girls like what I suspect you are, or onlyfans sex workers wouldn't exist if beta bitch males were not around.
I want you tho think about this... after he has a good conversation to you... he probably pumps baby gravy into a happy sock about it. Good luck on your endeavor.
Yes if she is honest and caring to me and treats me respect , than yes , I have no problem with getting to know her first before having sex with her , I don’t really put a time limit on sex to be honest , if her and I have great chemistry and connection together and we both want the same things that’s pretty much all that matters Honesty is important to me , a girl that is honest is a huge turn on to me , because sadly there isn’t many honest people out there , Most people just say what they think someone else wants to hear because they are infatuated by the person but really they aren’t honest . Me personally would rather be with a girl that is honest with me from the start that told me what she was really looking for , basically giving me a choice on whether I want to continue dating her or not , , so if she was upfront to me that she didn’t want sex right away , I would respect her decision until she felt comfortable, , I wouldn’t want to have sex with a girl that felt like she was forced to have sex period. as long as she is honest with me and she isn’t stringing me along while weighing her options , I would respect her decision. Now if she tried having me wait weeks to have sex with her , I would feel she wasn’t really into me and the passion I had for her would slowly disappear if she kept making excuses not to be intimate with me
u Be a little more explicit and you'll get better answers.
Are you saying that you would not want to have sex until you were married, or you don't want casual sex and you would wait until the relationship was committed and monogamous, or are you saying something else?
Similar questions have been asked. Short answer, no.
The real answer can be complicated. It really depends on the couple and what their expectations are in the relationship.
Generally, men will want sex. Personally, if I start to date someone, and she's only been in say 2 long term relationships and has never been involved in the hookup culture or casual sex dating, then I'm willing to feel the relationship out. Her behavior would be consistent to a belief sex is sacred and only available in a committed dynamic.
Now, if I find out she has a highly promiscuous past, lots of hookups and one night stands but refuses to have sex because of some bullshit reason of " I see a real future with you, so you must wait" then HELL NO.
Now why? It tells me I do not excite her on that level and she is just looking for the safe provider type and I am not really her first choice. At that point I'm out, and we are done.
Now, I firmly believe in having such conversations early. That way no one is wasting their time trying to make a relationship work where the two of them are absolutely not on the same page and bad sexual mismatches can certainly cause further issues.
Here are the issues from a male point of view. Women always have more options than men. Always. Even women that don't fully realize or understand the power they have. If the guy is hot enough to you and you're literally getting turned on in his presence, nature will run it's course no matter what you're programming your brain for at this moment. Lets say a guy is willing to go along with your boundaries. You and him go out and spend time together for months and it never gets physically intimate. Then one day a better looking and more confident guy hits on you right in front him. You know what you're gonna do? Get with the better looking guy and not wait. Human nature is hard to reprogram or resist, especially lust. At my age, I'd actually be happy with a girl with that mindset because I don't necessarily want to rush into intimacy right away and would just be excited to have the friendship and companionship of a pretty girl. Even if it never evolved into a relationship and just remained a platonic friendship. A 20 year old me would not have felt that way, bnut age and wisdom can change any mindsets.
In the past I dated a girl for a long time who really wasn't very open for any kind of intimacy. I kept thinking she just needed some more time, but it never happened. After about a year I lost interest in having a relationship with her, as we were still stuck where you would expect to be after just 2-3 dates. She basically pretended to be interested in me, but in fact just friendzoned me.
After that I decided; if there is no obvious sexual interest from both persons after the first month of dating... It's probably not going to work out. I am not saying "have sex now" when that month is up, but if there is still no interest from one or both persons to go all the way, I'd say that's reason to get worried.
When I finally met my wife, she saw me naked from the start of our fourth date (I'm a nudist), we were playing with each other within a few weeks, and we had sex in the second month. She actually wanted to move faster than me, but I did make it very clear I was definitely interested. I just wanted to build it up slowly as I knew sex feels much better when you have extensively explored each other in foreplay first.
Yes. When I see a woman a really like, I'm like wow☺️😭. Thinking how wonderful she is. Having sex doesn't even register in my mind.
The problem these days among other things, people are spoiled beyond belief. It hurts I think to be outgoing and how do you put it? Confident? As in she's mine, yeah baby😚😙, but without the baby, lol. Then there's sex without the marriage and questions like this with people like the asker complaining everywhere.
To note, God created marriage and its just as literally between man and woman as it is symbolically between man and woman.
It depends strictly on the person and how much they like you.
Experience tells me that if they are not willing to wait then they're not worth it to begin with. Move on. Women spoiled men with easy sex and if there is any way of fixing it, it's by saying "no" loud and clear and moving on when the other person doesn't respect your boundaries.
To be fair to guys though - if you're not planning on having sex, refrain from making out and cuddling as well as it seems to be more difficult for men than for women to control themselves once things get that far...
Yes I would. I was raised old school by my granpa and granma and mother. I believe in making a connection first, to see if there really is something there before I jump into bed with someone, and not have sex with them first, and then build something or a relationship on top of what feelings the sex created.
I am not wired that way. I just can't. I dont do one night stands and I dont do quick flings or rebounds. I much rather prefer a real connection and then have sex, and then continue from there. This is how its been done for years with the older generations. Before tech and shit.
In todays life, the amount of effort a guy has to do these days to get sex is hardly anything at all. Where as your parents or even their parents had to work and really build something with each other.
As times changed society and influences from other people and friends have created a much more sexualized younger generation
Yeah, I'd be okay waiting, unless I felt I had others waiting for my honest attention, like dates.
But like, I am not a player so I can't speak for those. And although I catch many eyes and interests I still fail to land anything from it. So like, I'm a bit special there, being bold yet a bit traumatized and laggi'n behind a bit.
Just saying that, I am used to not getting laid. But I really do value close contact, intimacy among friends and all, so that is pretty much half of what someone like you'd offer.
In that context I would love to date like that for up to a year maybe, just hanging out, cuddling, kissing.
After like a year, if we seem far off or the passion is dwindeling, I might think about suggesting opening the relationship up. Because I am not 20 anymore and my time feels much more precious.
Yes. I would (have) but only if a lot of specific circumstances lined up:
A/ I saw her as long term relationship material up front.
B/ It was that time in life when I (or any man) starts taking about the quality of the woman he’s with and something more substantial is part of the goal.
C/ She was clear and upfront with her expectations early.
D/ She understood that “cuddling” is going to create proximity and proximity is going to create moments where that line may get very blurry and she’s going to have to be able to accept that I may have a hard time with that. In other-words; if you rub the lamp the genie is going to come out. .
I think that’s ok. The issue for me is cuddling, kissing and touching is all a turn on. It’s hard for a guy to do those things and not want sex. Are you currently against all sex acts?
So I see it this way… either you keep it just a friendship (no cuddling, kissing or touching) or you consider how far you are willing to go like will you do oral sex with him?
For a relationship sex is important… it’ll bring people closer to share intimacy.
To answer your question…. I would date a girl without sex BUT the times I am with you I’ll want to be in her… and that desire could cause frustration and even start some fights.
Fuck yes!… I guess without the fucking right away. For I girl I LOVE.. In a heartbeat, would love to date my crush exclusively and even wouldn’t mind taking my time until she is ready for it. Every “date” I had ended up with some kinda of hook up situation where the girl hinted heavy for me to make a move and I always did. I don’t think I wouldn’t make a move after getting a solid hint at the heat of the moment because that opportunity might not happen again with said person. So in my opinion it kinda depends on how comfortable the girl is with the escalation aspect. There’s no way by six months stuff won’t happen naturally without a solid reason. Like a serious fucking reason that keeps her from having sex you like a rare condition or something lol
I am doing this. My girlfriend is far away. Honestly I like long distance more because she's quite a handful when we were together but she's really sweet. When we're apart and I can get my alone time but also talk to her it's really nice. I think sex is less important to me than other people. To me sex is important when everything else is going well it's like a bonus for other people it's the number 1 priority. Like when we were together and she wouldn't leave me alone or give me a break some guys would still have sex with her but I didn't because I was fed up and stressed and I wasn't feeling well so I didn't want sex. I was single for a long time before so I got used to not having sex so I only want to have sex if I trust that person and I'm ok with being around them a lot etc.
It's not an impossible thing to ask at all. If a guy has the right intentions, he will be willing to wait. As a matter of fact, I think it is wise for you to see if he will wait early on so you can rule a guy out if he is not.
I don't think it's necessary to say anything to him early on. Eventually he will probably either bring it up or try to seduce you into sex. If you are not ready you can tell him what you feel about it then.
But keep in mind that most men consider sex an important part of the relationship even if their intentions are good. If you feel you will never want to reach that point, then that could be an issue and you may want to have a conversion with him after maybe a few dates to let him know that you don't ever seeing yourself get to that point (or whatever your feelings are about the subject) so you don't mislead him.
This is a complicated question, and I wish I could give you a simple more personal answer, but I will try to break it down.
So what part of the world you live in matters. Most men in US or western/NATO countries are aware even if only vaguely that if they commit to a long term relationship or marriage they will likely end up at some point going through the legal shredder and destroyed financially.
Therefore with nothing as an end goal or made to risky most men are naturally going to be averse to relationships and stick to just sex or nothing at all.
Waiting on sex used to be the norm at least to a certain point.
In theory absolutely yes.
But in practice absolutely no. My heart wants love and will wait.
But I know the true nature of women. You don't wait for no woman because she doesn't make the men she truly wants, wait.
It's only after she had her fun and wants to settle down that she wants a man to wait.
No thanks. I'm not your beta provider.
Actually, I seem to be either/both sex repulsed/asexual. I still experience sexual ATTRACTION, just with zero desire for the actual getdown itself. Plus, romantically I'm VERY active as far as desire goes. You add all that to the facts that the girl I like is not only fictional, but couldn't physically exist even if she wasn't, and you get one VERY large bucket of HELL YEAH. Well, assuming that ROMANCE isn't out the window with sex at least.
Perhaps you should try Tantra type proceedings for a few months? This may answer your desires..
But the idea of saying you will Cuddle / Kiss all night , then he goes and pulls himself off in the shower , I don't think that's a good idea.
You need to give him. something very sexual and very enticing , to make the wait really worth it.
It's not that healthy for a young female either.
Ideally, yes that's the way it should go, keyword SHOULD. But here's the problem, the dating atmosphere is so screwed up to the point where that hardly ever works anymore, and both men and women are to blame for that. From ONS, to hookup culture, to some guys getting it for free, and some guys having to wait, to girls not trusting the right guys, to girls quickly trusting the wrong guys, it's all a big mess.
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