How to build my self-esteem (as I feel unlovable, not attractive and I don't really see why would any guy like me)?

[Anonymous]

[Lliam]

You're still in high school, which can be a nightmare. Kids are barely pubescent and haven't even gotten comfortable with their new bodies. Also, they have no experience in the world and their minds are not yet mature. They are at the beginning stages of trying to figure things out. There are bullies, hot chicks, cool guys, and all kinds of cliques. It's nothing like the real world.

So my advice is, #1, to stay healthy and fit. No matter your body type - short, tall, slender, voluptuous - you are female and guys want what you've got.

Don't get hung up comparing your looks to others or obsessing over details. It's a trap that too many girls fall into. Just focus on being active and fit, well groomed, having excellent posture, a nice smile and positive attitude. Healthy-minded people recognize mental and physical health and wholesomeness.

Know that people follow social sub-cultures like Goth and the myriad of others because they have low self-esteem and are trying to hide by adopting a fake identity. They get tats and piercing for the same reason. Avoid all that shit. Don't fall for peer pressure in high school. Your peers are idiots. (I'm looking back at my own high school days and speaking from experience. LOL)

Get good grades in school. Read good literature and become informed and literate. Learn all kinds of things and have fun doing it. Do it for yourself. Be fascinated with the world and all creation.

Learn skills that are beneficial and enjoyable. They could be anything like how to drive, swimming, Frizbee, yoga, gymnastics, karate, track, roller skating or skateboarding. Don't limit yourself.

The idea is to prepare yourself for after high school.

In the meantime, if you like guys and long to have a boyfriend, be open to the idea. If a guy takes an interest and talks to you, talk back. Engage in conversation. Show interest in him by asking things like what movies he likes, what sports he plays, what school subjects he enjoys, what are his plans after high school, and so on. The idea is to become friends.

Know that guys that age are primarily interested in sex. That's fine. It's normal for both guys and girls. You will have to decide for yourself when you are ready to learn about sexuality, to experiment and gain adult experience. You can do that while retaining your self-respect, self-esteem and dignity. It's healthy and normal as long as you are selective with your boyfriends and don't allow yourself to be treated with disrespect.

[Asker]

thank u a lot for these words!✨ irrally need to work on my mental health because it has been low recently

[Anonymous]

Stop listening to people who really don't know you. Start listening to the people who love and care about you. They're the ones who know you best and give you best assessment of your good and your bad points. Repeat those good points to yourself because they ate the TRUTH! And work on your bad points. Cut negative people, people that will just drag you down out of your life. Because they are not equipped to soar as high as you're going to go. And remember. I don't care whether you're 8 or 80 you're never going to reach a point in life where there aren't mean, miserable people. Don't let thier negative toxicity infect you.

[Asker]

thank u for your words! appreciate u✨🤗

[Opinion Owner]

No problem. It took me too many years. To understand and know these TRUTHS. Don't you do the same. Life is good!🙂👍💯

[thatshydork]

First off, understand that you’re not alone when you feel insecure. Everyone has at least one thing they’re insecure about and if they say they don’t then they’re lying.

Second, find something each day that you like about yourself. It can be something as small and seemingly insignificant as how you write certain letters to something like how your body looks in certain clothes or colors. Doesn’t matter what it is, just pick something each day and go “oh I like that I do ____” or “I love how my eyes look.”

Third, what really helps me is pushing my biggest insecurities to the back of head and telling myself, “nope, we’ve felt that before and it didn’t lead to a healthy way of thinking.” It was hard at first, but it’s really helpful.

It also helps to remind yourself that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so while you may not think you’re beautiful, someone else does. I mean, there are some people who think I’m a 10/10 and others who think I’m like a 2/10.

These are just some suggestions because not everything works that works for me will work for other people. However, there is also something else that’s very important to remember:

Outward beauty only lasts a few years. Inner beauty is forever. Being kind and smart and just all around a good person is way more important than outward beauty.

[Asker]

THANK U for all these words✨🤗

[Chelsdope0]

I feel the same way but you really have to invest in yourself.. if you don’t feel good about yourself then you can’t expect them to..


A man is only going to see value in women who sees value in herself and ADD to that. Never enter into a relationship with low self esteem.


You are valuable and beautiful ❤️ be the woman you want to become. Find a woman you look up too and take notes.

[Asker]

thank u a lot!🤗✨

[DrPepper12]

Everyday self affirmation. A bunch of AUTHENTIC IRL friends who will come with shovels and no questions asked when you text them at 3:22 AM. A SO who is invested in who you are and where you're going. Developing and REALLY APPRECIATING the difference between ALONE and LONELY. It it's on social media it's a lying distortion of reality. It's an illusion. I was a HS teacher. HS is a grotesque masquerade. It will be over soon. College is a BRAND NEW SLATE for you to write your story. Hope it helps!

[Asker]

thank u for helping!

[DrPepper12]

Happy to! You kids have too much on your plate these days. Not all of us were lucky to be gen X

[Asker]

well thank u a lot that u realize that! aprreciate u

[TommyMountainFigure]

The first thing to do, is stop basing your worth on how other people perceive you!

There is no point in thinking you can't see why a guy wouldn't like you when it isn't up to you. If a guy likes you, he likes you!

[Asker]

well thanks!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Welcome.

[Hellur991]

I'm the same way but I'm a guy I get the total opposite though. Even though I feel like shit to society. So our intrusive thoughts it's not real at all, even though they tell us it's real. It's not at all

[strateguy632]

under 18! don't expect and dont be disappointed.

[JacobJordan]

Self esteem by definition comes from self. You have to love you

[JacobJordan]

A big of self esteem is not listening to toxic little imps like the childish woman below (or above not sure how this comment will stack up). People like her will tear you down to make themselves feel better. Just know everything people like that say they feel about themselves they are miserable and want you to be miserable as well. Accept who you are as a person change what you don't like physically. But recognize that you as a person are capable and worth being loved. Never feel ashamed of being who you are even if who you are others call weird.

[JacobJordan]

See what I mean. You'll get a lot of flak from women like this. Stalking you and harassing you. Especially from women that can't accept facts. They would rather push their delusions on others. Like the liberals. They make childish assumptions based on no information because they are desperate to be relevant all one needs to do is continue to ignore them because they aren't worth conversing with and they lose their little minds. And that is the single best way to increase your self esteem if you are dealing with toxic people. Just ignore them they hate that. They are desperate for attention so by ignoring them you deprive them cold turkey of the thing they desire above all else. It is like taking a heroin addict and locking them up and they have detox cold turkey. They go nuts.

[Janet1116]

But it’s okay because I can be a misandrist too. But only because I treat people the way they treat me. If men wanna be sexist, I’ll be sexist right back.

[Asker]

@jacobjordan thanks a lot for your inspirinig words! i wish u a good life:)

[JacobJordan]

Of course. Happy to help

[Anonymous]

You are still underage. You can still have a glow up in the next few years.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I hope your DAD NEVER DEES THIS OMG YOUR18 AND YOU WILL GET FUCKED AND MANU MEN WILL WANT YOU

[Asker]

wtf.

[laly520]

therapy would help lot

[Sevenpointfive]

have you tried tinder?

[Asker]

nope and i have no intention to try it

[Sevenpointfive]

when you block avenues to open yourself up, it limits your availability to people. it limits your self-esteem, lovability, attractiveness and worth. many women use the app to boost their esteem. they have no intention of dating anyone on the app, but it validates them. think about that.

[Chelsdope0]

Don’t do tinder

[jahaims]

You don't get your value from others