Would you date someone who’s been emotional abused in the past?

[LaurenM1997]

I’m just wondering cause I have been in the past

[FatNeville]

Yes, I would. I might actually prefer to date someone who's been emotionally abused, because I feel like she, as much as anyone, needs someone to love her for who she is and be shown what's it like to be treated the way she deserves to be treated, rather than how whoever abused her had. People who survive abuse are often very strong; they have to be, or else they wouldn't make it through all that in one piece. My heart goes out to anyone who has undergone hardship of that nature.

It would give me a sense of purpose in life for me to find out more about such a person; to understand who she is and what all she's been through. I would want to do my best to understand her in the same way I long to be understood. I would want to be the kind of person that when she runs to me, it feels like coming home, to the place where she belongs and can feel at peace and comfortable. I want to be able to see all the storms she's weathered and do whatever I can to put myself on guard to ensure that she never has to experience that same level of hurt ever again. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye.

[LaurenM1997]

I was emotional abused in my last relationship that’s why I asked this question and what you said is what I want in a relationship reading this made me teary because it made me realise how much I want a relationship but also scared at the same time

[FatNeville]

Here comes another of my long-winded responses that will require more than one reply due to reply length limits...

[FatNeville]

@LaurenM1997, I don't think I ever experienced emotional abuse, but I think I still have some sense of what you mean when you say that. My ex-fiancée sorta abruptly told me how displeased she was with me one morning after she drove me home from the hospital. When I understood that she wanted to break off our engagement and leave me, my reaction had the end result being that some of the same EMTs who had already transported me to the emergency department at the hospital earlier that day had to come back and transport me again to that same emergency department and be seen again by some of the same hospital staff. For a few years, I told myself that I would never get into another relationship for the rest of my life; I was so worried I would just wind up reliving the hurt I had already experienced and that came as close as it did to ending my life for good. I didn't even want to talk to anyone at all for years after that. Not even my mother, who has always been my biggest fan.

[FatNeville]

Eventually, though, I got tired of spending any free time that I had simply sulking in my bed feeling sorry for myself. I gradually started to open up to people again. I no longer withdrew as far deep behind a metaphorical wall that was my aloofness which I used to protect myself from people who might hurt me. I started being willing to make myself a little bit vulnerable with friends. For the first time in a while, I actually had friends other than my mom. A couple months ago this went so far that I told a woman that I would be willing to be her boyfriend. I think we both want that to happen, but right now we are trying to be cautious and take things slowly. But how deeply we love and care for each other is mutual knowledge between the two of us. We're focusing right now on getting to know each other better as friends, and the more we find out about each other, the deeper our emotional connection becomes, and we just love each other even more.

[FatNeville]

I have been trying to spend my spare time taking a moral inventory of myself and trying to figure out what things I did that upset my last ex and determine whether it is within my power to correct any shortcomings I have with respect to these things. If this new woman and I do enter into a relationship with each other, I want to be the best partner I can be; she deserves better than the mistakes I made in my treatment of my ex. I'm still worried I will mess up and do something bad that she shouldn't have to deal with.

[FatNeville]

Anyway, I digress. My point is that I hope you find the right person who will understand everything you've been through and do their part to make sure that the future is much better for you. Everyone deserves love and respect (except maybe AIs?), so don't accept anything less. May you find the right someone who will provide you with everything you need from a relationship. We're on your side! ❤️

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm really sorry you've been through that Lauren. I have too back in my teens, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

The important thing, if it is possible is not to let what happened define who you are. By living your life in fear, it means the person who abused you, wins! I refused to allow any future relationship of mine be ruined by that manipulative, hateful and spiteful witch!.

Now I start every relationship with a clean slate. For me, the past is where it belongs, in the past!

I hope you can learn to do the same! I really do..

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks I will take your advice and take it into the next relationship as you said the last relationship is in the past

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Everybody has been abused in one way or another, healing comes from facing it, accepting the past as it was, forgiveness and letting go.

I’d date them if they didn’t dwell on the past and chose to live In misery.

[DishLady]

It would be a tougher journey, but if the person's worth it then perhaps. It's not like any of us is perfect, so... why not?

[AviatorTom]

I have. It can be difficult at times, you need to be patient and supportive.

[Serkee]

Why wouldn't I? I don't think someone being abused in the past is any reason to refuse to date them, unless you're afraid of having that abuse passed along to you I guess.

[LaurenM1997]

I was only wondering cause I have been emotionally abused

[TheSpectre]

Hope you'll find your The One, my darling.
And to answer your question...

Yes i would and do my best to keep her up on her feet and keep her spirit in highest limit possible. Always cuddle, kiss and take care of her like she's a baby kitten, always be there and be compassionate no matter what!

[LaurenM1997]

That’s good

[Deltanteiger]

Sure! My current dear princess is emotional cuz she been emotionally abused. But we handle it well it seems.

She also has a unique beautiful face, eyes that remind me the ocean and the smile and warms my heart. 🤗😘❤

[Deltanteiger]

I got my ass frozen by the way.
It's me, Lau darling.

[LaurenM1997]

Hello who’s this?

[LaurenM1997]

I don't know who this is 🥺

[HawkPerception]

I don't see that as an issue. Everyone has their demons they need to deal with. The point of a partner is to be a support pillar for their partner and help them get over any past trauma.

[LaurenM1997]

What don’t you see an issue? That I got abused in my last relationship or your fine with someone in a relationship that’s been emotional abused in the past?

[HawkPerception]

I don't see the emotional trauma as an issue

[LaurenM1997]

Well it was an issue for me I went through being yelled at swore at

[LaurenM1997]

I don’t know why you can’t see emotional trauma as an issue when it is so many people go through it

[LaurenM1997]

What if someone abused you? It would be a different story then won’t it?

[TonyMetal___86]

I agree with miss lauren, when you can't feel the pain of someone or doesn't see it as an issue, this speaks a lot about your character!

That's if you aren't an emotional abuser already! Seeking for validation for such kind of actions!

[HawkPerception]

As usual, you have issues interpreting what someone is saying. I'm saying that I don't see the emotional trauma as an issue in a relationship. Everyone has some sort of baggage and inner demons they have to deal with and it's the partner's job to support them. Read please.

[LaurenM1997]

Ah ok sorry I didn’t understand

[molonski2]

It would depend on the abuse and how it was allowed to occur , and the impact there of on their personality.

[MemeSupreme]

i guess it depends how that shit effects them bc having two traumatized peeps in a relationship sounds toxic lmfao

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I know all about emotional abuse, I've been there with peers from my school in America within my Middle School year. They abused me terrible.

[Berethor]

If she a virgin then yea, if a woman is a virgin then that offset many bad things to me.

[LaurenM1997]

Don’t worry I am a virgin

[Berethor]

Okay let's marry :D, I know you are virgin but I was answering in a general manner. :)

allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks for your answer

[ThaMaskedMarvel]

Sure. It's already slim pickings as it is. Why take them out of the running?

[LaurenM1997]

I was just wondering cause I myself was emotionally abused

[worldscolide]

Sure, though I'd want to talk about it do I better understand her, and I can make sure I don't do anything that would be perceived as harmful.

[LaurenM1997]

Aww that’s great I’m glad you would listen to her and also take care of her ☺️

[CriticalCatDad123]

Nah… I wouldn’t want to have to deal with that baggage.

[LaurenM1997]

That’s fair

[TonyMetal___86]

Can't believe that someone had abused the sweet miss Lauren, how could they and she have a baby's heart 😌

[LaurenM1997]

Yeah in my last relationship he did that made me cry he got angry for no reason at all and made me feel like it was my fault when it wasn’t half the time he just wanted to stay at home and not come see me he just wanted to sit on his Xbox and anytime I would try to talk to him he would get so angry

[TonyMetal___86]

What kind of a relationship is this, when someone gets angry from seeing the other?
If i had a girlfriend, i'll make sure that we spend all our time together, even if i had to play or doesn anything, i'd like her to be present 😊

[LaurenM1997]

Like I would be at my house I would call him and apparently I would have to have place bunny ears “his permission to do so” when he called me without me having a go at him for doing the same

[TonyMetal___86]

I see, but why getting angry if you want to see him or spend time with him?

[LaurenM1997]

No he got angry not me

[TonyMetal___86]

I know, i'm asking about why does he gets angry when you want to see him or spend time with him, he should of been happy, especially with a lady like you miss Lauren, you're a joyful and funny lady 😄

Only a moron would hate spending time with you!

[LaurenM1997]

I don’t know why I can’t even ask him as we don’t talk we’ve not talked since 2019

[LaurenM1997]

He lied so many times to me

[TonyMetal___86]

Thank god for it miss Lauren, he surely doesn't deserves a girl like you!

[LaurenM1997]

It could have lead to more worse stuff but yeah glad he’s not around anymore

[TonyMetal___86]

And you're not lonely 😌

[VV3ZZY123]

Yes I would. I reverse all the trauma because I'm so awesome :P

[LaurenM1997]

Awwww

[Badgirlnatalia]

Yeah i don't discriminate

[LaurenM1997]

Ok 👌🏻

[CubaPirate]

Absolutely 💯

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks for your honest opinion 🙂

[slatyb]

I married one and she married me.

[Chazmatazz269]

Not if they haven’t worked through it.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes, we'd make a perfect fit.

[laly520]

I would n already doing so