Having a Partner, Do you Feel it's Right at Times when One or Both Might Say "It's None of Your Business?"?

Question

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Yes, we are still individuals, with a right to our own privacy, and that right should be respected. In a relationship, you share things with your partner, but not everything.

Example: A close friend tells you, in confidence, about a personal problem they're dealing with. If your spouse asks you what's going on with so-and-so, it's perfectly acceptable go say, "none of your business".

fuddly · Accepted Answer

I have an example when my wife effectively tells me it's none of my business by closing the door when she's on the phone

Usually discussing some family related thing (her family) and maybe something slightly embarrassing happened to her sibling or nephew.

menina · Accepted Answer

You can be in a relationship but at the end of the day, you're still an individual. So of course it's important to keep some things to yourself. However, there are polite ways of saying that. Saying "it's none of your business" sounds rude in my opinion.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

Sounds rude, I’ve never used those words to my partner.

osmanthus · Answer

Dependent on multiple, and usually unforeseeable, consequences, and type of marriage—as well as it's subjective and objective quality. A marriage is a formal legally recognized contract issued to a couple or multiples by a particular jurisdiction and nation, and further upheld in social and spiritual recognition by a church body. We won't delve into the intricacies between a traditional western marriage versus a common-law, as I presume you are asking about the modern western definition of marriage to be a 'love marriage' notwithstanding the existence of marriages of convenience and the outmoded marriage of necessity, in lax and not literary industry accurate, terms.

A marriage can be anything from open to closed to fluid to rigid. What I mean by that is: "As far as the law is concerned, a marriage can be eligible for divorce on the grounds of infidelity, for example, but in practice, many couples within their marriages have mutual agreements that may or may not be legally enforceable in a court of law, so, the marriage partners might agree to have extramarital relationships." It is more likely that a pre-nuptial agreement is unenforceable prior to the legal document of a marriage certificate, because a marriage certificate consolidates the legality of intent. Legality of intent emphasizes that the marriage was recognized in 'good faith' that it was not based on financial gains or benefits or for any other reason than what is today deemed a sincere marriage.

Now, back in time, marriage was not meant to emphasize much whether the partners loved each other or not but rather whether there was some service to both or some benefit on the part of each other's families was possible to manage and maintain. Clan identity was and still is important to most of the world, no matter how you splice it. So saying "it's none of the others' business" has go be elaborated on.

For some, this is a very literal phrase, in that whatever business a spouse has, that is not the other's, isn't. However, most mean this as a way of saying to 'quit prying or inquiring' about a matter and or persons that I see and or judge to be inconsequential, menial, tedious, etc. or of little importance. This isn't to say that the matter or person's aren't important, if it is possible, it, or else they, could be. Often this is said out of pent up frustration, annoyance, etc. of and about a matter other than what was about to be discussed.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

It's okay to do so. He doesn't need to know the private conversations I have with friends, the things they tell me in confidence. To give an example.

But if he's struggling with something and he delivers that line, letting it spill over in anger, then it becomes my business.

EndlessVoid20 · Answer

Actually yes I do believe people still have their personal lives and that people shouldn't butt into each other's privacy however this changes when you become married, then your business DOES become each other's! Most of the time anyway, some people may see this differently.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

That is too strong of a way to say it. Maybe something like, "I'd like to keep that private".

Mr_twoface · Answer

I would never say to my wife "it's none of your business" nor have I ever said that to any partner. I have however said in the past, I don't feel comfortable sharing it with you.

Lliam · Answer

There are more diplomatic ways to dodge intrusive questions. Not even married couples are entitled to pry into every aspect of each other's lives.

rarebushyvicky · Answer

yes but not with that sentence or tone lol id explain that its something personal and not ready to share just yet but reassure him so he doesn't think you hide from him

DrPepper12 · Answer

Only when I'm trying to plan a surprise or sometimes money related but it will be I can't SAY RN and will come clean by the time statement comes in. We have no passcodes on our phones and and a shared list of passwords. All transparent

Unicornrose · Answer

No. I dont. But I get it. It still hurts. But I'm here to grow

dreamstar72 · Answer

My wife and must be strange to some because we share everything well except for certain personal items. She and I have no secret passwords, messages, we have the same email.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

To each other? No never Paris. The boundaries were one of things we got to know about each other without ever having to set them.

Wiredone · Answer

Yes it's fine to say none of your business. It doesn't happen often in my marriage but it does happen. Sometimes she tries beating it out of me but it doesn't work. She's pretty good at keeping secrets too

Surely · Answer

It does sound rude to say something like that. Couples say that they have no secrets. But I bet that most do!  How else would you keep a gift secret if you didn’t have some privacy?

LazerBean · Answer

Not if you're married. For lesser relationships, maybe

The_Sexpert · Answer

Well don't be surprised when the other partner just stops caring all together

Massageman · Answer

We are both in health care professions. We can't share client info, even with each other.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Not often, but yes. TBH I’m struggling to think of an example when. Communication and transparency are important to a good relationship.

msc545 · Answer

Yes, you're not entitled to violate somebody's privacy to satiate your anxiety fantasies.

superchan2011 · Answer

Yes. While you shouldn't keep a bunch of secrets from your partner, at the same time we're all entitled to a little bit of privacy and shouldn't be expected to share every little facet of ourselves with anyone.

Princess2552 · Answer

I agree everyone's privacy matters

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Yes. I have a life outside my partner.

Nikki1989 · Answer

We don't ask intrusive questions so that never happens to us.

NetherlandsNar · Answer

Depending on what it is

elizamichale1 · Answer

Yea I think so

MikeyPH · Answer

Not necessarily because if it's  your partner you should be willing to go through anything with them or at least both parties should be allowed to have their opinion!!

jahaims · Answer

All of my business is my wife's and vice-versa

Likes2drive · Answer

I guess but I wouldn’t be rude about it

Lynx122 · Answer

Sure :)

Pete671 · Answer

Always rude, better to say something like "I'd rather not talk about it right now"

lightbulb27 · Answer

Nope!

shortster · Answer

Within reason

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