Signed onto another dating app? Oops?

[red324]

You know it's like Deja vu again. The girls on there talk to multiple guys at once and I'm never the one they pick. Then if I do land a date which I usually do, it's like they're jist using that as another way to weed me out all the while they're getting a free meal out of it so it's no loss to them. Why don't girls focus on one guy? I shouldn't have to keep looking for more girls to make up for the fact that the one I'm talking to is just going to bail. Opinions?

[ManOnFire]

Women think men and sex should always be available to them, so if they can rack up guys like investing in stocks, they figure they can always have another one to go to if one doesn't work out or she loses interest.

[red324]

Yeah, I mean I don't really have much of a social circle which in my opinion is the best way to meet girls. Maybe not, but the point is I don't get out enough to meet them, so I'm not sure if these online apps make their head too big with all the messages they get or what.

[ManOnFire]

It definitely makes their heads too big. Women look at men and dating as a meat market that is always in supply for them, and they think we are at their mercy for sex and dating. Hence the reason why so many women act like they are in control and walk around with pointed-nose body language.

[red324]

So if I picked up a girl just out and about one day that's not on a dating app, would they be less likely to have a line of guys ready to date them? I mean they always have that one friend etc, but I would think it wouldn't be nearly as bad as an inbox full of 100 guys.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I'm not on dating apps at all, but I'm sad to hear that has been your experience. I think dating apps are just a really bad format, personally.

[red324]

@TheRealPepperPotts I'm not saying I can't land a date, i've probably bee on 200 dates, but that's 200 dates with 200 different girls. See the problem? why don't they want to continue to see me?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I'm back under my comment heading and had a question about the goals you have there... : )

[red324]

@TheRealPepperPotts I'd like a girlfriend. All these other guys have one, why can't I?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

You are 34 years old and want a girlfriend? There may be a possibility that they are wanting more commitment potential than that. Just a thought, given the age range.

[red324]

@TheRealPepperPotts isn't saying you want marriage skipping a step or two? Gotta date the girl for a few years before decideing you want to marry her

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@red324 I don't think there's any harm in just stating it in your profile as a goal. "Wanting to meet someone amazing, and looking for a LTR with the right person" or something like that. I definitely agree that you should date for a good long while, no question. I'm just saying that if you are up front about what you want and clarify, there's a chance you'll get more girls who are looking for something similar. Not a guarantee, obviously.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Let me ask you this; Do you have a particular type of girl you contact? Because you might try changing up your preferences and see if maybe one that isn't as pretty is a better fit, or maybe one that doesn't have exactly the same interests? In my opinion, having the same interests can be overrated. I'd look more for similar attitudes about life and a willingness to try something different.

On another note, you could try finding a Meetup group in your area, activity groups on Facebook, volunteering at a charity that interests you, a missions organization (if you are a Christian), refugee volunteer, etc. Just some ideas!

[red324]

I have a pretty wide range. The funny thing is this girl told my I was a cutie. Forgot what I said that got her to say that, because she said it all on her own, but I still get the feeling she's talking to other guys and im just another option.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

That's positive and a good start. You don't need to answer this on here for privacy's sake, but maybe ask yourself what makes you (or could make you) stand out from the pack?

[red324]

Oh plenty, but I never get far enough with them to see that. I don't think I should lay out every detail of my life on the first date either, things like that come with time. Now isn't that part of the fun of getting to know someone? We never even get to the point where she comes back to my place. Now with that being said, maybe I do a poor job of selling myself. I don't know.

[red324]

What I'm saying is you just go with it and every time you spend time with one another you learn something new about them etc.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I agree, that's risky. It's hard to balance vulnerability with caution. That's why I think dating apps should be more like a social network, where you can see someone interacting in a less high-stakes scenario. I'd also ask yourself what your goals are. Is it a LTR or quick fling?