Why will my baby mama not let me see my son more?

[SamLopez1111]

Right now i have a court date set to get more time. I currently only have twice a month for like a day. I try to just ask my baby mama if i can talk to him on the phone or just take him an extra day because he cries when he leaves and says he wants to spend more time with me. She always says no or "he doesn't want to talk on the phone". It breaks my heart every time, i'm just wondering, what is the reason for her not letting me see him more?

[Anonymous]

Because that’s how women who are like her control you. Trust me this is only the beginning. Good thing you’re going to court. Because one day you’ll find a girlfriend, when that happens it’s going to be even worse. To most women a kid in a separation is a paycheck. The less time he spends w you the more you have to fork up. So she can tell the courts that you don’t even see your kid. You only see him twice a month. Chances are she’s mad at you for something that happened on your relationship e her. So she’s using the kid against you. Which is childish. I get she may be mad at you for whatever, but she needs to learn to put that aside for the sake of the child. Trust me been going through this for the longest myself. My son turns 18 next month. She’s still trying to control me through him.

[Amy10223]

I’m not sure if you have been ordered by a court to see him only once every 2 weeks, but you can take her to court, and let the court know she will not let you talk on the phone with him. You’re his father and you have every right to see him. You can also ask the court for more time with him. See if you can take him every other weekend instead of once every 2 weeks.
In order to do that, you must first go to a courthouse and file a “motion” for what you want. I’m not sure if you can also go to family court. Explain the situation on paper and have as much proof as you need to show them what goes on. You’ll need to follow instructions on the paperwork. It will take a few months for you to appear in court, they’ll ask your son’s mother to appear as well.
Unless they find a reason you can’t see him more often, you have rights to see him. Good luck.

[Sasquach]

Best reply ^

[SueShe]

We don’t know the circumstances why she has the custody of your common child but given the fact that you are only allowed to see him on given days leads me to believe that the separation was not under the best of terms.


The court has probably decided that the child was better off with his mother and your baby mama does not want to create a precedence by allowing you to see or talk to the baby more often. If she overrules the decision of the court by allowing you to see the baby more often, the the court might revise its judgment in her disfavor.

[JacobJordan]

That is the standard arrangement actually even for amicable splits. Courts will side with a crackwhore mother over the clean working father unless the dad has a good lawyer.

[Amy10223]

More often than not, a court will give custody to the mother in a case like this. We don't the personal circumstances, that's why I wrote my last sentence. There are always different scenarios. The courts will decide whether or not he can see his son more often. Mind you, the parents must decide where the father can meet the mother to take the child to his home. That's top to them. But he has every right to see his son more often and to deny this right by the mother, is not legal, she cannot do what she wants with her child. She must be forced by the courts to do this.

[Amy10223]

*we don't know the personal...

[SueShe]

@Amy10223 thanks for the clarification. Not having a child nor being involved in a similar case, I am not familiar with the legal technicalities.

[Amy10223]

Welcome. I have heard from many cases in courts, being in a court myself I learned a little about the legalities of such situations.

[Amy10223]

@JacobJordan If the father can prove that the mother is unfit to take custody of the child, the courts would most likely give custody to the father. He has to have records, proof that she is into drugs, etc.

[JacobJordan]

@Amy10223 depends on the judge. Even with evidence they still tend to side more with the women. There are enough news articles of men pushing for custody cause the mother is a pos only to fail and during retrial she murders the children because she would rather they be dead than he have them

[Amy10223]

@JacobJordan That last part of your writing is a little farfetched. Courts will. normally go with letting children stay with the mother because they think men will be not able to care for the children. However, that can change if the evidence shows the mother to be an addict, mentally unfit, etc. and proof of this needs to be shown to the judge. Sometimes children will be seen by psychiatrists to see if they would be better off with mom or dad.

[JacobJordan]

@Amy10223 www.google.com/.../florida-mother-kills-children-herself-after-court-order-to-return-son-to-father-jay-maine-aiden-hutchinson-custody-battle-polk-county-florida-judicial-system

www.google.com/.../rcna131937

www.google.com/.../

Does that seem far fetched? That is 3 of literal thousands of news reports

[Amy10223]

@JacobJordan that may have happened, I’m sure. But that is not the precedent to treat all sane mothers the same way.

[JacobJordan]

@Amy10223 that is a very common outcome is what I am saying. I agree it isn't precedent but it happens so often that it is something that needs to be addressed

[Amy10223]

@JacobJordan It is also very common that the mother is not guilty of anything--and wins cases based on the mentality of the male, or where there are no circumstances at all. Mothers usually win custody. I'm not saying I'm for that--I'm saying that is what normally happens. I'm proof of that.

[Chazmatazz269]

Women are not practiced with power. A little bit will drastically alter the way a woman behaves. Unless she baby trapped you, this predicament is no less than 50% your fault. Unfortunately, the child is the one who suffers most no matter how it goes. So, be the bigger person. Remain civil and follow all the rules. Do EVERYTHING within your rights and responsibilities to be a dad to your kid. This includes, if possible, getting a DNA test. Whatever the results, the power shifts in your favor. Be whatever kind of man you most admire.

[Avicenna]

Ah, yes, she's playing "keep away", something that happens quite often with baby mamas. Get a good lawyer and enforce all visitation and parental rights because she probably won't comply voluntarily.

[Finchie40]

She hates you for whatever reason , so you are best to get yourself a lawyer and to fight for more time with your son.

[OlderAndWiser]

How old is your son? At what age did you start spending time with him? Are you paying child support for your son?

[Anonymous]

Because she hates you. Probably because you did something fucked up towards her. Not saying it makes it right to keep the child away from you, but it’s the most likely reason. Either that or she doesn’t trust you with the kid, maybe for good reason. Maybe you do drugs, do criminal shit, drink, wasn’t involved in the kids life from start or are just irresponsible in general.

[SamLopez1111]

Honestly, I think it is probably that. I wasn't the best boyfriend. I didn't cheat or anything but I just wasn't in a good space in my life and I got distant. Its just crazy cause I want to be in my son's life more. It sucks cause I really see how much it effects him.

[ManInChains]

You’d think as a woman she’d be more caring and understanding and care more about helping you through life. I mean that is what women are meant for sense the beginning of time. To be a man’s helper. Unfortunately that’s not true anymore…

[SamLopez1111]

@ManInChains I mean in a perfect world, yeah that'd be nice but like you said that's just not the reality of a lot of stuff these days. I really just want to be a father at this point.

[ManInChains]

Well, I hope she allows you to be one. It’s your right after all. It’s sad that I have to say that in todays female centric society

[ManInChains]

Children NEED both their mother AND THEIR FATHER in order to grow up to be healthy functioning adults

[OfMiceandMen]

Did your relationship end badly? Sometimes people use their children to get back at someone. It's a truly crappy thing to do, as all their really doing is hurting the child in the long run.

[SamLopez1111]

yeah it did, it ended badly.

[OfMiceandMen]

That sucks man, not knowing your situation, I would try to make amends with your baby mama. If you frame it, that you just want to do good by your son and promise to help however you can, she has to take that into consideration.

[slatyb]

Good for you for getting a court date. Is there no current visitation order? Is there a support order?

[SamLopez1111]

going back to court in a month, already have a CSP order, I pay 1200$ a month lol.

[slatyb]

Good luck.

[rosemilk]

well, until you have the courts approval for more time, you can't do much at the moment.

as for the phone thing, that is pretty rude of her. bring that up on your court date on allowing to talk to him over the phone a few times a week.

[Fireguy17]

It's a control thing, and sadly the kids are being used in her game.

[SamLopez1111]

I can see that, damn.

[boggboss]

You had a baby with her u must know the type of person she is to not let u mate

[handsomelad70]

Depends on your relationship with her, meaning you may have to mend it before she relents and lets you see your son.

[Anonymous]

This is something for you to take up with her and the judge, for all we know you could be a saint, or you could be a physically or emotionally/ verbally abusive ass. You could be an outstanding dad who exceeds his financial responsibility, or one who owes years of back child support.

The reality is, even if you gave us more information, we would only have one side of the story and unless you are 100% homest, we cannot give you real help here.

[dustybiker2]

Maybe stop calling her baby mama and start calling her the mother of your child. Maturity matters in court.

[JacobJordan]

Because if you see him more than it impacts the amount or child support she gets. The less you see him the more she gets. The more you see him the less she gets

[Juxtapose]

Well there goes that whole thing about women being the empathetic and compassionate gender 😂

[sirderpsalot123]

She hates you more than she loves her kid

[SamLopez1111]

Damn.

[ManInChains]

Because women are selfish like that

[jahaims]

How would anyone here possibly know that

[whistlingwh0res]

you should get a lawyer?