How do I convince my girlfriend to remove her facial hair without hurting her feelings?

[Anonymous]

We knew each other when we were kids and we dated in middle school, and I know she can be pretty sensitive. We recently found each other again and we've been going out for a couple months. I still really like her and this isn't something I would ever leave her over, but it can get really distracting. She has some hormone imbalances so she grows a lot of thick facial hair on her chin and neck. She shaves it, but that really isn't enough. When I kiss her I can feel her stubble and it really turns me off, but I don't want her to think I'm grossed out by her, and I don't want her to feel unwanted.

How can I bring up the topic of waxing or getting laser hair removal without hurting her feelings? I'm really not good at this sort of thing.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's how I would sensitively approach this with my girlfriend:

First, start the conversation when you're both in a good, relaxed mood. Reassure her how much you care for her and find her beautiful. Then say something like, "Can we talk about something that's been on my mind? I want to make sure I say it respectfully."

Let her know you understand her struggles with facial hair are due to issues beyond her control. Emphasize this has nothing to do with her looks or personality - you fell for who she is inside.

Suggest exploring long-term options like laser hair removal together. Make it about sharing the experience rather than just her, like "I'd like to support you through this process if you decide it's something you want to try."

Compromise may help too - you shave shortly before dates if laser isn't an option yet. Ultimately support her choice, as feeling comfortable in her own skin is what matters most. With patience and compassion, I'm sure you both can find a caring solution.

[WindAtMyBack]

"this isn't something I would ever leave her over"

Then don't say anything. It bothers you and I can totally understand that. But never get into a conditional relationship. That means don't get in a relationship "only if" something changes.

She is well aware of it. She is probably VERY self conscience about it. There is nothing you can say to make her more aware of it. The only thing that would accomplish is make her feel even worse than she already does. If SHE brings it up, you can give her advice on possible ways to deal with it, if you know any. But be very careful with it. I'm sure it's a sensitive topic. I think from what you've said, you already know that.

[Theodoricus]

If you really love her, you can easily overcome this. Just ignore some of facial hair. She has some hormone imbalances and it's not her mistake. Take the bitter with the sweet.

[Asker]

I can try to ignore it, but it really is distracting. If I bring it up to her and she doesn't want to wax it or get it removed I'll respect her decision and suck it up, but I still want to know if it's something she'd be willing to do.

[Theodoricus]

I don't know. She already shave her facial hair. You may honestly talk to her with love.