How to convince my girlfriend about her hair?

[MrHimself]

This is something I haven't really seen before. My girlfriend is so obsessed on trying to be blonde. She has beautiful dark brown hair, but she hates it. She dyed her hair so many times, bleached it just to get that perfect blonde colour and she's still not liking it.

I already convinced her that dark brown suits her better. I'm trying so hard to convince her that hair colour really dont matter. blonde suits some people more (light eyebrows and eye colour) and some people not. But now she hates how blonde doesn't suite her. She hates her eyebrows and eye colour because of what i said.

I really need someones help. I'm afraid that i'm doing more harm than good. How do i need to approach this? Right now I have told her to take baby steps. Step one is to accept that dark brown suits her more and that she shouldn't overthink too much about her hair (which is kinda working). I told her step 2 is to accept that blonde is really not special. It's average and does not make a person look prettier. Step three is to accept that her natural hair is beautiful.

My question is how do I guide her to step 2 and step 3 without doing more harm than good. Thanks in advance. Any help is appreciated.

Please know that my intention is not to limit her exploring her looks and experimenting. This is not the case, she genuinely hates her natural hair and i'm just trying to let her love her natural hair.

[reshirr]

You don't. It's not for you to deal with, or "help". If she wants to dye her hair, let her be, and let her look how she wants. She clearly values her opinion about how she looks more than your opinion about how she looks, which is HEALTHY. Trying to get her to value your opinion more is controlling, and if she loves herself as a blonde, for christ sake let her be blonde without any of your comments.

[MrHimself]

My opinions is that I don't care what hair colour she has. I care about her self-confidence. I care about her self-image. If you had a boyfriend who hated how he looked, wouldn't you also tell him he looks beautiful the way he is and prevent him from going to take drastically unnecessary matters to change, even if it's unhealthy (physically, and also mentally)

[reshirr]

Yeah then do that without adding in any tips. Let her figure that out for herself what she likes/doesnt like. She's changing obviously because of her lack of self esteem. I can promise you that nothing you say will change that, it comes from within.

[MrHimself]

all right, thank you for your reply! Gave me more insight. I won't be telling her what to do, I'll just stick with making sure she knows she's beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to read and reply

[KsyRose]

Tell her how perfect from the inside out she is to you. Maybe even take her out to somewhere where there's not so many people and tell her how amazing she is. Don't be afraid to exaggerate.

[MrHimself]

Thank you for your reply. I do that, but often she thinks i'm saying it because i feel obliged to do that, which is completely false.

[KsyRose]

Hmmmm... If words don't work, take actions. Take this seriously, because it does matter to a girl that is insecure about herself.

[MrHimself]

I'm taking this very seriously and want to do everything I can. I want her to be happy about herself. Could you perhaps suggest some actions i can take? And thanks for your help, it's appreciated.

[anaspie]

Just stop and let her do whatever it is she wants to do with her hair... she's young she wants to experiment with it so let her... otherwise you will end up putting your foot in your own mouth and you will regret it I promise lol

[cross98]

its good that you care, but sometimes you have to back away. please excuse the rude answers under mine.

[Anonymous]

if she is obsessed thn there is nothng u can do let her do whatever she wants

[MrHimself]

She's damaging her hair and this obsession makes her unhappy about herself. How can i let her continue? I wanna make her happy. But that's your opinion, nothing wrong with it.

[Opinion Owner]

yah u r totally rght i demaged my hair a lot because of dying it a lot. but i would stop it if someone told me they want to see the natural colour of it especially if that person is my boyfriend but it seems ur girlfriend doesn't care it

[MrHimself]

Thanks for your reply. She's going to dye it back to her natural colour. But she now just hates how she's not suitable for blonde hair. I want her to realise she's beautiful the way she is and should not worry about being suitable for blonde hair. Would you please give some advice on this? i would appreciate it a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

tell her God created her hair in that colour because it looks great on her :D