What's the most dates you will go on with someone without sex?

[MikeTheBartender]

obviously you want to get to know somebody and all that, but I also worry about making a good emotional connection and then the physical connection is terrible..

First date

The Standard 3 dates

Five dates

I'm waiting for marriage

Other... Explain?

[Finchie40]

I don’t have a set number , if the chemistry and connection and attraction is there , than her and I could end up in bed that same night , so it depends , me personally wouldn’t continue dating a girl that kept making excuses not to be closer to me , I would feel she was just using me and stringing me along if it goes weeks with no sex whatsoever. When you like someone you like someone , you don’t make excuses. That’s something that should be talked about immediately , I am pretty open about my sexuality when I meet a girl I am interested in , o don’t want to waste my time or her time , so I never really had that issue , I think the longest I ever waited was like a week lol

[spartan55]

36% are waiting for marriage? I call bullshit on that.

[DishLady]

That's not the lead question...

[spartan55]

Yeah I know that...

[MikeTheBartender]

I highly agree !

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I could wait until marriage.. but the sexual compatibility is one of the factors that I should know first before getting married. I don't mind not having the best sex ever, but what are his traits during it.. since it will happen a lot after marriage. (Is he selfish during it.. does he transform into a wild bear.. does he have weird kinks.. etc..)

[MikeTheBartender]

Exactly

[marish01]

So you will know if he has weird kinks only by having sex with him?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I wouldn't have sex until the wedding night. I waited once before, and it was great. As long as he has a hard time keeping his hands off me and I have a hard time keeping my hands off him, it'll be fine. Humor and communication cover a multitude of sins in sex, and practice makes perfect.

[DishLady]

Quite a few, actually. No matter how I may feel about a guy, till the last red flag has turned green there's not going to be any action... And if the red flags stay red... or there are more than three red flags... then Huston we have a problem.

[Jbear27]

Who is Huston? 🤭

[DishLady]

@Jbear27 😂 😂 😂

[RyanML]

Can you give examples of red flag?

[DishLady]

@RyanML Dishonesty is the best example I can give of a red flag. There are so many more one can easily find with a simple online search like “common red flags” and “dating”. I don’t want to look like I’m trying to promote any particular site. (Even Google AI is helpful, though.)

[RyanML]

Can you please give a few examples that you have come across specifically? Better than relying on websites. Asking because, I have a tendency to come of too direct/strong in early ge-to-know stages which have ruined my chances. I'm trying hard to fix it

[DishLady]

Honesty is always good, though perhaps things like tone and finesse need a little work with most guys who share that issue. You want to express yourself at a level that won’t overwhelm a girl and yet express yourself honestly at the same time. It takes practice.

[foxsquirrell]

lol.

[Jbear27]

I’ve dated enough in my life to set standards for myself and what I want. I dated a girl once that I really liked when I was younger. It went on for about a year before we had sex and it was terrible. The chemistry wasn’t there and after that the relationship slowly fizzled out. I feel like i wasted a lot of time honestly. While sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship it is no doubt a very important thing. So in the spirit of behind honest and not wanting to waste each others time, I think you should have sex within maybe 5 dates. And that’s assuming the emotional and intellectual chemistry is there. If it’s not and you’ve reached your 5th date then maybe it’s time to go your separate ways.

[RespectfulGuy]

My now wife and I literally dated for close to a year. Then married and had our First Time sex on our wedding day.

First Time Sex was among the worse. But as we kept doing, we quickly enjoyed it and through the years, it became part of our life.

Life had it challenges. But sex was among the few "little pleasures" we treasured.

[NathanDavis]

I never really dated for sex... I am no serial dater either, lol

honestly, didn't even count how many times we would hang out to get to meet one another, and that was always my goal just to get to know one another, the sex only happened after, as part of a relationship...

and, from meeting someone till ending up together in a relationship varied from two or three months to even two or three weeks, lol

[serious_miss419]

How romantic!
“Sorry sweetie, we can’t until the sixth date. It’s my moral number”…. “I’ll be so nice to her until the 6th time because then I’ll getter in bed”..


It’s not about how many times. It’s about how you BOTH feel about each other. Feeling connected is important.
Even without sex, it’s critical to have other things as well that make the two of you happy. Health and other factors can put sex on hold and it’s vital between two people in love to still be able to get through things.


Also define dates. Passive dinner and a movie just to make things progress or is it genuine time?
Women can feel that in a man’s body language.

[Anonymous]

What’s so wrong with waiting to have sex. I’m not necessarily saying that I’m for waiting until marriage, but I don’t want to rush into it either. I don’t think there’s a specific number or time you have to wait. Just do it whenever you trust your partner and it feels like the right time.

[MikeTheBartender]

Absolutely nothing if that's your want ❤️

I have a personal fear of making an emotional connection and the physical sucks. But to each their own.

[TyraMayes]

There’s no number , but there are requirements

like am I emotional safe here?

do I see this in the long term?

are we in a committed relationship with talks of marriage?

Is he a man of integrity and honor?

[Ευδεμονια]

Honestly speaking, I’d date without any contact until it’s the girl asking.
I know things may be uncomfortable for others so I wouldn’t dare to.
It doesn’t exist only sex to make a relationship, better to know well the person and then do it, as a complement of what you already built before.

[just_a_potato]

Well I waited a year and a day to have sex for the first time. Before that, I only dated one person seriously and we never got far enough into our relationship that I was comfortable with it. If I was on the dating scene again, it'd take me at least a year to start having full on sex, not counting foreplay and such.

[Anonymous]

I went on probably 15 or 16 dates with my current boyfriend before we had sex. I wanted to make sure he wanted a real relationship (and not just sex)

[MikeTheBartender]

15 or 16? In your 30s? Absolutely no disrespect, but do you think that the attraction wasn't high enough? Or did something change? Or you just prefer to wait that long?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm actually 40. haha

I was just trying to make sure he was really committed to me and didn't just want to have sex with me. I had multiple times when I got very hurt when I got physical with a guy too early. There are a few times when after the guy I was with had sex with me a few times he dumped me

I figured that making him wait would make sure he wasn't just in it for physical/sexual reasons. If that's the case he'd lose interest after he found out how much he'd have to work to have sex with me. Also, my current boyfriend is quite a bit younger, and I wanted to make sure he was really interested in me (and not just trying to live some older woman fantasy)

I knew if he was reallu interested in me for more than sex he'd be willing to wait (which he did)

But don't worry about a lack of attraction. It's absolutely there. Waiting as long as we did was super hard. There are so many times I wanted to bang him (even though I waited, just to make sure)

After I knew he wanted me for more than just sex I got us a hotel at the beach for the weekend. We had sex over and over again pretty much all weekend (which was incredible!) It's been about 5 or six months since then, and we've had very regular/very frequent sex since then

So yes, the attraction very much is there. haha

[MikeTheBartender]

Thank you for sharing ❤️

[Elliegirl]

I never put a number of dates on it. When I was comfortable with him and ready to have sex, that was the right time.

[worldscolide]

It's not a number of dates. It's amount of time. One month is my limit.

[worldscolide]

I figure at one month I should know enough about her to know if I want something serious. And it's almost always me that waits that long. The number of women that I dated that wanted to fuck on the first date is astonishing.

[MikeTheBartender]

One month is a good amount I think

[worldscolide]

If I'm not feeling it after a month, it's over.

[CuriousHubby]

We waited till we were married! Amazing honeymoon but also we talked about sex too. So we did not go in all blind like some couples do just to find it's awful!

[Alli112]

Depends on the dude, depends on the mood. I don't have a strict rule on this kind of thing.

[Nikki1989]

I never had any rules related to that. It could have been one date, it could have been 10.

[luvstoned4him]

prefer to wait till marriage tbh but if I slip would have have an insane amount of dates passed

[normalice]

If at the second date she isn't wondering why we didn't have sex on the first date, I'd just assume she's not into me.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Ideally I'd like to wait until marriage until I have sex again.

I don't think sex before marriage is a good thing personally after my experiences with it, it mostly just clouds judgement in my opinion.

[Nirmroth]

Dont really count the numbers but more the time. Am more comfortable when we have sex around 1 month of seeing each other than within 1-5 dates. My sex drive when meeting someone new is pretty low tho anyways.

[SugarSugarplum]

All of them. For me, dating is about finding someone to love me, not boff me.

[katiesmuff]

Most common was during third date, with a few others being impromptu!

[Vegasrunner]

My max number is three, but tbh I've only gotten to 3 w/out sex and I actually went over it but it was a very specific circumstances where it was three dates over the course of over a year.

[HighValue]

If she isn't a virgin, her waiting until marriage is just a bs excuse while she tries to see if she can get anyone better.

[OtterMan68]

anyone who has a specific number of dates for sex or dump is a creep

[Sasquach]

3-5 dates depending on personality, past that I would assume there is an attraction issue on her end

[LiamJHayden]

Not anywhere near my highest priority. Never fewer than five up until she's ready.

[Anonymous]

Other. DEPENDS! Could be the first or second? I haven't dated in forever.

[exitseven]

These things do not follow any rules. It depends on the circumstances

[paledreams]

Standard 3 dates or 6 lol 😆

[jahaims]

No set number