If this ever went to court, could it be used against me negatively (child custody with ex)?

Me and my ex are having a baby. Well, it hasn't been going well recently and we've been fighting.

I made kind of a stupid mistake the other night. He was being a jerk and I got really upset (thanks to all the hormones and stuff). I made comments that indicated I may want to hurt myself. I would never actually DO that. I would never actually hurt me and I certainly wouldn't do anything to hurt my kid. In that moment, I was just feeling super low. I was really saddened by how things were going, I was hurt by his actions and I basically told him I didn't really want to live anymore at that time. It was the only time I had ever had an "I want to die" feeling.

I never did have any sort of "plan" or "means" to do anything. As I said before, I'd never hurt myself in general (honestly, I'm kind of afraid of dying and I wouldn't be able to do anything like that).

My biggest concern is the possibility that he may have recorded that phone call or had someone else record it (like he had me on speakerphone). I do not have proof of it ever being recorded, but it worries me. If it WAS recorded and we ended up in court, could he play that and use it to take the child from me?

He did send the police to my house that same night and told them I was suicidal. I had calmed down quite a bit by the time they arrived. We talked and they deemed me stable and not a threat. They actually did not even believe the report after speaking with me and wrote it off as a prank call. The police also told me there were no text records or anything since we weren't texting and it was pretty much "he said, she said" because they had not heard anything recorded and was basing it off their received report.

If there was a recording of the call, wouldn't the police know? Could that police report back me up since they wrote it off as a prank and deemed me completely stable and not a threat?

I feel stupid I even went to that level, but I was really hurt and feeling like crap.

Updates
11 mo
Now, I will say that I do have a lot of documentation against my ex that shows he's not very fit as a parent. Things ranging from severe anger issues (along with witnesses who have heard/seen his anger outbursts), alcohol problems, threatening to hit me numerous times (though he never really DID hit me), multiple events where he would scream and yell at me aggressively, and a long history of being financially unstable (long unemployment tracks, rage quitting jobs, not paying bills, etc.).
Updates
11 mo
I have a lot of family and friends who would vouch that I am mentally stable, do not have a history of mental illness, am financially stable and a hard worker. I also have no history with drug or alcohol use, and I have never threatened to harm him like he has me. All he "has against me" is the potential recording of where I was at a low point and said I didn't want to live anymore because what was the point when I just messed everything up? It was stupid to say, and I'd never hurt myself.
If this ever went to court, could it be used against me negatively (child custody with ex)?
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