Tell feelings, ask on a date, or both?

[Anonymous]

There is a woman I've known online for a few years. I was introduced to her online gaming group by a buddy of mine. I stopped hanging out with the group though because I realized I had feelings for her and her boyfriend was in the group.

She recently became single and actually moved to the same state as me about 4.5 hours away, and I starting hanging out with her and the others online again. I've gotten feelings for her again and I've been considering telling her my feelings and asking her out.

I'm not very good at these things and I'm not sure of the right approach. Our friend group is meeting together in October, but I want to meet her before that, preferably as a date. Especially since she lives so close.

One of my other friends in the group likes her as well, and he thinks that she likes him. He thinks I should tell her my feelings though. I'm just all around confused as to what I should do.

[kylee2437]

Ask her on a date. You need to get to know her alone personally before you can really say if you have complete romantic feelings for her. I think confessing feelings before getting to know each other personally is jumping the gun.

[Asker]

Thank you for the reply! I'll ask her as soon as my car is out of the shop 🙂

[Asker]

Well, I asked her. Unfortunately, she said no and confirmed she's talking to my friend which is why.

She felt really bad about it and kept apologizing, which I kept assuring her I understood and there are no hard feelings. Our friend group is supposed to meet in October including the one she is talking to (lives several states away) and she said she still wants me to go and that she wants for me to stick around as well. Also said if we click on the October trip that she would be down for her and I to hang out in person since we are only a few hours apart. Regardless of if we ever become anything, she has been a great friend, and I don't intend to throw that away.