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In reality it’s a bit of both, however I don’t always turn round and ask if I may kiss them, although I have in the past, it’s been more of the ‘may I kiss my fair lady’ type of thing.
I firmly believe in flirting and teasing enough so that she is the one doing the kissing.
Eyes tell a lot in these situations, as does the conversation that is happening around this, it’s reading the person, how she is etc, some girls I will 100% ask, others I will be able to gauge them on body language, eyes, their smile, lips, tongue, flush of neck, etc. Ideal situation though is they are kissing me, rather than me doing the work lol.
It all depends honestly on things like culture, location, and most of all the individual themselves because the background varies for people with their comfort levels and boundaries. Because so many women have past traumas of abuse in society I'd honestly side with asking her and being open about your desires to kiss her when you're in that moment. It's not a mood killer in most situations so you're better off showing her your care for her comfort and wellbeing by asking. This is with someone where you're testing the waters because if you've known and been in some sort of relationship with the person you'll be better at reading into their signals and preferences and their comfort levels with you in that situation.
Kind of depends on the woman. Some women maybe be super interested in you and show the signs, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s ready to kiss you and then there’s the women that doesn’t mind at all. Personally, I don’t think asking would ruin the moment. If anything to me, it would be a sign of respect and that the guy is prioritizing my level of comfortability. She will trust you. Ask her :)
Well that depends if the signs are clearly there and you know when that is then I'd just go in for a kiss. Normally a little kiss then pull away for a moment and look her in the eyes and then go back in for the full monty.
If I'm unsure, I don't really ask rather than say "I'd really like to kiss you right now" and then gage her reaction. A direct question leads to the option of her saying no and being awkward.
Opinion
46Opinion
I would rather for a kiss my date read the cues and kiss me. I always felt asking for a kiss is awkward and spoils the mood. Guys read the signs. If I didn’t want you to kiss me than I would politely say no or back up. Now for sex I feel that consent is always necessary. I think it’s hot and extremely considerate or polite when guys say like
“Are you sure?” Or “ Is this what you really want?”
So hot.
But I don’t mean ask literally every time. If you have had sex with me once than don’t ask. I wouldn’t go back for seconds if I didn’t want it.
I'd rather be asked. If it ruins the mood it's because there wasn't anything there. If you really like someone and they ask to kiss you you say yes
Good rule if thumb there
It ruins the mood for me when guys assume. I would prefer a man to ask me and then allow me to say yes or no without taking it personally. I really liked a guy a lot and he asked to kiss me on our first date and I said no because I wasn’t ready to have my first kiss with a guy I just met even though I liked him a lot. Later he asked why I said no and when I explained that I never kissed anybody before he seemed to understand that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. I was worried I would not do a good job, I also had a fake tooth from an accident that happened as a kid, I was afraid I would be awkward and I was just completely faking all the confidence he thought I had. Admitting to my deep insecurities and not being judged but having him validate my feelings anyway and reassure me that everything was okay made me like him a lot more. So I ended up giving him the kiss in the end lol
As its a new person I'd actually prefer they ask me.
In my experience it's important to air on the side of caution.
You're still getting to know each other. I'd like a man to show me respect. Sometimes rejecting a kiss isn't always a negative it's just an indication that we're not ready.
Good point
Thanks @Guardian45 😊
Let me let you in on a little secret my friend. Reading the cues is better, because as a man it shows you're assertive. If she rejects you, then you simply back off. Don't push it. However, when you ask it shows hesitancy and that you're not sure. I say go for it.
As for me I usually say fuck it & go for it if I really like her & if she seems nervous I ask. One time I was LIP BLOCKED when I went for it & the girl stopped me. She asked are we boyfriend & girlfriend & I said what do you mean. She said I only let guys kiss me if we are boyfriend & girlfriend & then she asked again & I said not a fucking chance & I was out like a fat kid in dodgeball.
This is how you do it. Get very flirty and intimate. Go in close a little and then pull away. Exhale a couple of times. Keep flirting. Get I. A bit closer. Allow your heart to beat faster. Pull back. Keep flirting. Go in again. Pull back. Ratchet up the tension so high that she breaks and grabs your head and smashes face. Works every time
I heard a girl explain how that could be done without coming off as desperate.
Basically look her in the eye during the last conversation. Something like your so focused on how bad you want to kiss, it shows on the face, and then say I really want to kiss you right now it's not a question and not quite a statement. She can say yes or no to it without feeling bad I guess. So either that'll work or you'll go to far and have full creeper face on. Good luck.
I asked one time on the first when she seemed like was about to get into her car. The second date I didn't ask and we were talking and sitting next to each other and after about an hour of chatting we were both really close so I just leaned in to kiss her but she turned away at the last second. I didn't make a big deal of it and continued talking like nothing happened. lol! I got a kiss at the end of the date though.
Honestly this is where feminism needs to back the fuck up, consent for a sexual act is one thing, and people definitely need to be clear about that, but im not gonna have a conversation with you about whether or not go in for a kiss. Literally unless you have autism the signs are pretty clear. You get close and then she gets closer... good to go. You get close and she moves away... boom there's your answer.
I say you must be quite oblivious if you don't know if a moment is suitable for a kiss, so go for it. It's something wrong with a person that get offended for someone trying to kiss you. So go for it. Just start in private before doing it in public.
If that person picks the right moment to ask and does it with a husky almost whisper like voice, it can be pretty hot. Being a gentleman, in my opinion and even making me picture kissing that person before actually doing it, is very sexy.
I never get kissed haha.
I'm usually the one kissing people.
If it feels right and I'm sure that they want to be kissed I will go for it.
If I'm not 100% sure I would ask if I can kiss them.
Good for you!
I wish more women thought that way.
When I was dating I seemed to give off kissing vibes to one's I didn't want to kiss and so I think it's best they ask.
I think if it’s a first date or you are still getting to know the person it’s important to ask because they may not feel comfortable. But after a month or two and once you’ve both kissed a few times it’s ok to read body cues :).
I went to the pool with a girlfriend once and she kissed me in the pool. I didn't like that. I took her there to make her happy without an intention of anything sexual.
I think it is best to ask.
Honestly, she can kiss me whenever.
Cues or not.
If I’m with her, I’m into her, certainly from a physical standpoint until I get to know her more and more.
I would like either. It’s not just me present there, I’d like him to feel comfortable as well. So we aim and hope we’re on the same page.
i think it come down to read the moment no one is will the same so if they feel it go for it and if u think u have to ask then most likely the other people ain't feeling it im sorry not try be mean just try to help others
Both. Asking is safer and depending on how you do it, it'll be hot. Unless there's frequent touching and flirty acts, there's a chance you can misread the cues/signs if you're lacking social experience.
Too many guys misinterprete "clues" - it's always safer to ask.
Oh DEFINITELY read the cues! If he has to ask, we are most likely not a good match. I like a man who is intuitive, passionate and proactive.
You're the kind of woman creating problems for society. What's next? You like a man who sexualy assaults you? Haha at least give the man a clear sign that you're interested, super stupid to expect men to read the tiniest of cues because sometiems it's wrong. Sometimes the girl doesn't like you she's just trying to be nice, and going in for the kiss will be offensive. But I guess we should take the risk of assaulting a woman in order to show women like you that we are confident, intuitive, passionate, and proactive?
@devilman666 None of the men I've ever dated or been in a relationship think that. They love that they can be passionate and proactive with me. Then again, I date real men, not insecure boys.
Yeah and I only date mature women who can freely share their feelings with their partner, rather than insecure little girls. Lol
I don’t like when men ask stuff. They should just do it. If they ask I will get pissed off and say no.
@Shy_Steve , this weird Arctic/polar (powlar) human agrees with you too.
@Shy_Steve Only the females that think like her. Entitled.
Last time I forgot to ask permission, I went to prison for sexual assault... don't be stupid boys, don't listen to girls like this, always ask permission first. (I'm kidding, but also you could actually go to prison)
LOL @ the results.
Optimistically, you have a 50% chance of getting it right.
Pessimistically, you have a 50% chance of screwing it up.
It's usually unspoken for me.
We just lean in, get in eachother's spaces and eventually there's like a second of silence that cues the kiss.
I think it's sweet when your date, especially if he's a male, asks you if he can kiss you. It's like him being considerate yet adorable.
I think when the moment is right but it is always a plus when they ask
I'd most like that they ask with their body.. getting physically closer, touch me and so.. then I can drag out if I am not into it, or hopefully they can also read me and stop themself.
After I divorced and started dating I never asked for a kiss or anything more. Women always let me know when they were ready.
I've actually never had a problem with a girl diving in on my lips first lol. I guess I was lucky in that way.
Grils may say, ask, until it is in real life, then they feel weird being asked and prefer cues. One of the skilled all girls appreciate in a man is the ability to read cues.
I don't usually kiss on the first date, although there have been exceptions.
I Like to take a day or two to think it over with clarity, if that woman is someone i should invest in.
I see no harm in asking, better be safe than sorry especially these days.
What would you say to the women who are opposed to men asking?
I've never asked anyone that , in all the years , actions far better..
I have tried it both ways. I would rather just go for it. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Would definitely rather he ask. How would asking ruin the mood?
I would rather he just goes ahead and kisses me. And the kiss can tell you if he wants you or not.
Ladies, y'all are fully functional adults, please stop using "cues" since this is not middle school. Use your words, cause most of the time the cues you give out only make sense to you in your head.
My generation used a kiss as a traditional goodbye after a first date. The intensity of the kiss determined the level of interest you had in each other.
I don't give a shit what she wants; I'm going to ask anyway. This is for my personal comfort. I don't feel comfortable touching anyone unless I hear them say that it's okay.
Ask. What if one party is interested and one isn't. Asking confirms
Hey nice to see you again
Whatever she's comfortable with. Things don't always go textbook-perfect on a date.
maybe use some sort of rhetorical "question"- "I don't see why I shouldn't kiss you right now - - - " as you lean in and do the deed.
I asked my first date before I started noticing the cues. Though now I can’t remember what those cues are.
My wife just comes to bed with shaved legs and it’s on!
FUCK, this doesn't sholve any problem ther will be half of womans who will send us mans in jail
I'd say go for it as I would definitely let them know that I wanna kiss.
People are saying that asking is weird for them but honestly I kind of like the idea of it because of consent. But I don't know if the mood is right sure why not go ahead and kiss them.
First date... I will not ask. If he is my boyfriend already then I love to kiss whenever wherever 😂😂
Both ways work here.
Unfortunately for all female's that doesn't have what it takes waits for me to do it the first time.
Honestly I can't read clues for shit when its the right moment but give it time and i would have gladly done it. So honestly I just ask
Surely if she keeps smiling and being face close at the well goodnight moment then surely the cues are so... obvious? Unless she didn't
Kiss her on the cheek and then see what happens , a wise man told me @mehzmeh
Some people say that is a friend zone action, while many disagree and treat it as a romantic action.
These days I always ask, it is not worth the risk that you are misreading the 'cues'.
Asking actually works surprisingly well. At least in my case.
I have no idea, My thought of being on a date again is just unrealistic.
Some people give off very clear cues, some don't. It's tricky, you never know.
I personally tell it so he knows it. I really would like if he asks
I just go for it if/when the time is right. If I'm wrong, then I'm more than strong enough to withstand the rejection.
I wouldn't expect them to read my cues so it would be heaps easier for both of us if she just asked.
If things are going well then kiss might happen in flow and its not a must for me
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