I (37M) asked a girl (30F) to be my girlfriend after three dates. She said it’s too soon and is starting to fade away?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this girl I met for three weeks. Five days ago on our third date, I asked her to be my girlfriend (I was going to ask on the second date, to be honest but I felt like it was too soon). She said that it was too soon and we’ve only spent a total of ten hours together (which is a long time and ample time to decide if you want to commit). I now sense that she is fading away and I don’t want to be strung along.

Am I being too eager here?

[Lynx122]

She has to want you. It doesn't matter how committed you are if she is not that interested in you. When you instantly want to lock her down it just makes it seem like you're desperate and so she left. Things are complicated today but you're 37 you should know some things already by now.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

That's pretty fast to be asking for that level of commitment, I'm not going to lie. My wife and I moved pretty fast and even that was a month of working together and talking on the phone every day after work. Way more than just 10 hours total.

It's cool that you want her in that way, but she obviously is not ready for that yet. If she still wants to continue dating then I say let her set the rules for that so she feels more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s great that you already know you’re into her in that way, but I agree with her, 3 weeks is a bit too soon. That’s not even a month.

[Asker]

How is that too soon? What hang ups could she be having? I thought women wanted commitment.

[Opinion Owner]

At least 2-3 months is usually standard. Of course women want commitment, but not to rush along into a relationship. You hardly have had time to know each other, and if she’s correct and it’s only been 10 hours together, that is nothing.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In my book, ten hours total of dating, it is just one second. I mean, it doesn't look possible to me to feel intimate with someone, after such a short time, if a girl attempted to date me, in this situation, I would suspect she isn't looking that much at me, so I would put her in "pause" mode lol

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Actually... Disregard partially what I said 🤣

Life taught me a lesson during the last two days, I don't need more than ten hours: _when some circumstances_ are met. They were met, I must register a change in opinion due to new experiences. I do register. Voilà 😅

But don't take me wrong on this one, these are special moments with special personalities matching, and it's completely random. So, the safest course would probably be to scrutinize enough the person you're dating with, so you can see how much you are pleasing her. If you sharpen your skills in listening, you will not need to ask for romance, you will feel it in the eyes, speech and behavior of a person. Even online.

[alice55]

She's most likely not interested by you this ways or she's dating multiple guys had the same time and prefer the other one bt still keep you as hr backup

[Unit1]

"is starting to fade away"

There's your answer. What are you confused about?