Why do people lie about what they want?

[Anonymous]

I was dating this girl things were going super well actually. We could talk about almost anything I felt like I genuinely had such a connection with her. She told me how so many dudes just want to get into her pants, how different I am from other guys, and how she wasn’t like other girls either.

As time went on she kept making flirty sorta sexual Innuendos to me which I either ignored or changed the subject. She also started dressing sort of suggestively when she was around me. I started to distance myself from her because it started to be clear what she was after. But I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because we still had a genuine connection or so it felt like it.

She one day got upset with me, because we went to her place to hang out after a nice dinner. She kept making suggestive comments and eventually got really upset and asked me why I wasn’t catching on to her hints and told me that she feels like I don’t want to be with her. I asked her to clarify and she basically in a nut shell told me she wanted to have sex.

I told her that I thought she was wanting something more and how I wasn’t after that until later. She became upset and tried arguing with me which I just told her I’m sorry this isn’t working out and I just left her house.

The next morning she kept texting me asking me over and over whst she did wrong and what went wrong and how she felt like she genuinely had something with me. Which I explained the same thing to her I did before.

I ended up blocking her off of everything because I kept asking her to leave me alone and move on. I already explained myself to her enough times and it just wasn’t worth it to keep doing the same thing.

It’s just that she lied about what she wanted. She wanted to get into my pants after all of that after raving about dudes doing the same thing. It hurt…. But I’m also glad I got rid of her. Before I I added her I could see that she was going out with questionable dudes. So dodged a bullet

[ProbablyClueless]

People usually have a few experiences where being honest about their wants and intentions destroys the connection before it has the chance to even become anything. They lie while they're still feeling things out.

Also, I think a lot of people lie because they genuinely don't know what they want. They just know that they're interacting with someone who makes them feel good and they want that to continue while they're figuring things out.

[normalice]

When people are honest about what they want it usually results in someone else who doesn't care about the thing recklessly swooping in to take it to show that they are better, or to gatekeep so the person has to go through them to get it for themselves.

[Asker]

Which I guess is what she tried doing to me

[normalice]

Aye. Hurt people hurt people..

[Asker]

True

[Anonymous]

You think you’re all that, don’t you?

Is it really impossible to separate romantic and sexual connections?

[Asker]

No anonymous I don’t I just genuinely want a connection with someone who doesn’t just want sex. It’s unfortunate when someone acts like she’s wanting the same thing and then gets upset that I don’t want to fuck her

[Asker]

The worst part of it is like I said before I unadded her. I could see she was posting photos of these dudes she was going out with and I know what kind of dudes they are.

I never seen her post photos like that either which is weird. So I think I definitely dodged a bullet. At least if she was honest about what she wanted I wouldn’t have wasted over a month of my time or hers

[jahaims]

To manipulate