Would it be a dealbreaker if your date and you wanted different number of children?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

For example, you want at least 2 and maximum 3-4 and he wants 1 maximum 2.

I don’t see it as a dealbreaker, I think middle ground can be found, for example 2.

[Berethor]

Didn't thought seriously about it, and I try to be flexible about that, date sited don't ask about how much children you want, they just ask if you want children and if you have children. I myself don't sure how much children I want, theoretically I might not have a maximum, the minimum is 2 I think, I don't know if I can compromise on just 1. If she don't want children at all I think that it's a dealbreaker, but even then I might try to change her mind, well if she a virgin, if she don't then I don't think that she worth my efforts.

[OlderAndWiser]

At my age, if i had the interest of a younger woman and she wanted to have children, i would see that as an insurmountable problem. I regret not having by children when i was younger but i am far too old to start a family and it would be unkind to my child.


I actually was in this position about 4 years ago.

[natured]

It's not a dealbreaker, and sometimes things should be left on nature's hand... sometimes it can happen that you are planning for 2 and end up with just 1 because of problems to get concieved... OR you planned just 1 and end up having 4
So, as long as they are healthy, don't keep a number up, make just the best of it

[osmanthus]

You're right it say that the number two is the middle ground for both of you. However nature doesn't always work that way... If you end up having more than two children both of you would have to decide what to do with the extra.

[osmanthus]

Both of you can consider adoption.

[AviatorTom]

Numbers can be negotiated, and compromises reached.

In my first marriage, we had 2 boys, and I was happy with that. My wife wanted a daughter, and so, we had a daughter. 3 kids... then we stopped.

[Finchie40]

Not at all , if her and I liked each other and wanted to be together we would figure it out and compromise with each other , predicting future stuff is a long shot for the both of you , just be happy he wants kid and you want kids , don’t set a number because that set number means shit

[Avicenna]

lol, no. To find a compatible woman who wants kids isn’t easy.

[Ladsin2]

Meh. There's a lot more that goes into this than meets the eye. I think it would be a pretty serious issue no matter which side you landed on. If a man is concerned about his finances and doesn't want to support three kids, but the wife does that's a pretty big deal. If she wins he'll likely resent her and the kid as leeches. If the wife has one kid with a guy and then ties her tubes or whatever the traditionalist would be upset that she's not open to life. Another issue would be that maybe she doesn't think you're providing sufficiently for the one you've got so she's not going to risk bringing more in...

Me personally I think it'd be a pretty big deal. I want a big family. I grew up an only child more or less and would've liked having a big family so I want to give that life to my kids. If a woman isn't interested in that, or isn't interested in having any kids I don't see the point of dating her. I've stopped dating 3 women for that reason.

[MisterWack]

No.

I believe if someone wants 4 children though their job barely can get enough for 1 then they would snap back to reality and go “1 is all we get” lol.

Though if they continue pestering on that then maybe it is for the best to split up…. Imagine having one kid and your spouse keeps pressuring you for something that will eat them out of house & home…. That isn’t good, best to cut it off early if you can’t get along.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, I’d be able to compromise, 4 is realistically not so achievable. Maybe 2 is a better option.

[MisterWack]

@lafemmefatale_1 Exactly point, have to work with what you want & the confines of reality. Love finds a way if compromise & logic & romance is on the table.

[ProbablyClueless]

Nah, that's not a dealbreaker. The number of kids can definitely be negotiated.

[Scottishgirl92]

As long as you are both willing to find a compromise. I don't think it's a deal breaker.

If one wants kids and one doesn't. Thats a lot harder. I always knew I wanted to be a Mum. So I'd never have been happy with someone who didn't want them.

But if i wanted 2 and they wanted 4. Id he open to 3.

Plus things change as times goes on. I always thought 2 was what I wanted.. 10 years after I've had my kids.. I now want a 3rd (thankfully husband does to)

[NathanDavis]

not a dealbreaker, no...

but if they want a little football team, then no... I am not about that, lol

[molonski2]

Its not a dealbreaker , its something that evolves over time , it cannot be planned completely , things change.

[Nerdvana]

Depends on how big of a discrepancy we are talking. In your example, yes middle ground can be found. But if I want 2 kids and she wants the Brady Bunch. That could be a problem.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Originally he said he wanted 1 and I said I wanted 4, that was awkward because we said at the same time, than I said at least 2 and he said maximum 2 😂

[Nerdvana]

It should definitely be a discussion between the two of you. And that's why the word compromise exist. If you two are not on the same page on such an important issue like children. you will resentful of each other and never find true happiness as a couple.

[zagor]

No, unless one wants zero, or a very large number. A lot of people change their minds once they start having children as to the number they actually want.

[RavVid]

It is possible the woman changes her mind after the first!

[Nikki1989]

Nah, there are far more bigger issues to think about.

[DrPepper12]

If it's a date I'm not sure why children would even come up? Wouldn't it be small talk and chitchat and getting to know you stuff that's lighter?

[MikeTheBartender]

I have a vasectomy and don't want any so it's. def been a deal breaker.

[MicahRaine]

No. Anyone I love enough to date is someone I'd be willing to flex for.

[jojouzumaki]

Not at all. He have his own reasons and so am I we just have to discuss and compromise.

[LiamJHayden]

Just a date? No. If engaged then that can be an issue.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why’s that be an issue?

[LiamJHayden]

Marrying someone who disagrees on number of children. In your specific example, logically two would work because both have that as possible, but what if in another situation one wants two at most and the other wants at least six?

[Reijen]

I mean, one would think they'd go for the agreed upon 2 then.

[shortster]

As long as she wants at least two; or is open to polygyny.

[Amur8711]

Yeah I don't think that's a deal breaker, here it would be is if they don't want any.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yes, if he wants kids im out

[MrGSpotHer]

That's a lot of math

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

lol, what’s your answer on a question?

[MrGSpotHer]

I can't do math 😭

[eagle1951]

compromise.