When you are single for long, do you almost forget how to accept love?

Question

Like the other day he asked me about my health, because I was at the doctor. I just check my health every year and that’s why.
But instead of thanking him for being caring, I answered “It’s pretty good. Why would it be bad!” - And later on I realized I could just say thanks for his care and attention and tell him that I am doing great, instead of answering that way. I just have been alone for too long and I think I forgot how to accept care.
Now I feel bad about that… We both moved on from that conversation but I still feel guilty.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s possible , since you been single for some time , you just get use to your ways of being single because loving and caring for someone is a choice , we can only choose to love or care for someone else , but we can’t force someone to love us or choose us the same in return. When I am single , i choose to love myself and focus on myself, I get set in my ways of being single and I don’t have to listen to anyone if I choose not to , because I am single , so if I want someone to choose me , I have to choose them and treat them with dignity and respect , the same way I want to be treated in return , but they still have a choice , on whether they want to choose me or not , we can’t force anyone to be by our side. For love to grow between 2 people both people have to choose each other the same way , if not , only one of you will love and the other doesn’t. Because we can love someone , even though they don’t love us back the same. So by you being single for so long , you just learned to love yourself and learned to focus on yourself. So only you can change that if you choose to , no one can change that for you.

imtiaz45 · Accepted Answer

Being single for an extended period can indeed create challenges in accepting love when it eventually comes your way. Over time, you may become accustomed to solitude, leading to a sense of independence that can make vulnerability feel daunting. You might develop habits of self-reliance and prioritize personal comfort over emotional openness. As a result, the prospect of accepting love can bring feelings of anxiety or doubt, as you may question your worthiness or ability to connect. However, this doesn’t mean love is forgotten; rather, it requires a shift in mindset to embrace vulnerability again. With patience and self-compassion, you can rediscover the joy of giving and receiving love.

Little_Bumblebee · Accepted Answer

Not in that way, I have friends who give me and I give them care, love and attention.
I have been single for 4 years, though, so there's definitely some things I might struggle with if I were to date again.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say it's love... just normal human interest... and yes, it depends on the situation... I sometimes say thank you and sometimes just answer the question :D

Rosexøxø · Answer

It happens. In situations like these you can learn to allow yourself and let yourself be cared for at times. Not be so on top of things and orderly. Let them do things or say things for you once in a while. Just attempt to be more accepting

or

you can try to find someone more compatible say than the person who does small gestures as these. Don’t feel the need to lower your level of INDEPENDENCE (not singleness) just for anybody.

You can find someone also extremely independent and then collaborate with them in your relationship. Being partners and they pick up where you leave off and vice versa. Say if you maybe do camping for example and you get into a strange scenario of trouble. Your partner will be at the ready to help you. That is the kind of mature relationship you’d have with them and even in every day things with society say like taxes or finances

somehow- SOMEHOW as great as either of you are with managing money one encounters I don't know a possibility of debt or something. The other will do their best to help find resolution.

In this case you’d both be there for each other when it’s most extreme and matters to each of you most, and then something like them saying good job or turning off a light behind you may not mean much of anything cause you ALWAYS turn off the light or you’re used to handling situations in your own.

You don’t have to be fake is all I’m saying. Don’t pretend to appreciate seemingly simple things that have no real affect on you, and don’t leave things unattended so they become responsible for it just so you could appreciate it.

INSTEAD

find someone who will also not expect much from simple things and can compliment your sense of independence and responsibility as their own. That way when you both encounter bigger challenges, you’d both bond and take it head on together and appreciate being for each other in those times of need.

Another option is trying to communicate how you are with them and reassure they don’t need to do little things like that for you. Maybe just reserve it for big things like a death of a loved one. But some people feel that being mindful of others in big and small is natural so they may struggle with this. It just depends.

I’d encourage the method of finding someone just as independent and responsible as you (close to it) but still caring of you.

The second option is also a recommendation but the second option. It’s tuning in again to the feelings of being cared for in the simplest things. Acknowledging it and remembering it’s still nice to have even if not needed. Not everyone does such nice things for people. So even if a small gesture to you, it should be received well because it’s rare. Furthermore a reminder to help appreciate this is in knowing it’s their expression of love to you. That person you are with is unique and how they express their love will be a bit different in how others express their love for you in the interactions and boundaries of an intimate relationship.

I hope some of this made some sense but if not, apologies. It’s not anything to sweat. I’m sure a relationship coach/counselor/ therapist could explain things better and give you both some points of guidance.

IF you were both considering taking steps towards a more long term relationship sort of thing.

-Best to you! Best to you both. No matter what don’t be harsh on yourself, and realize they do that with the best intentions for you. I think that’s special and what really counts. (The thoughts that count).

💯

AviatorTom · Answer

To use an old cliché, it's like riding a bike. One is always open to recognize, and accept, love and caring. You have every right to feel guilty, but you did nothing wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

You are WAAAAAYYYYY over thinking this! You shouldn't think of EVERY interaction as an independent two-sided transaction that should somehow have "equal" value going both ways. He was showing interest in you. That was sending love and value your way. You feel bad because you didn't thank him in that moment. Don't worry about it! Just do right by him overall.

Do you know what would MUCH more productive than you feeling badly for not thanking him? The next time you see him, just give him a blow job! I promise you he'll be MUCH happier than if you had thanked him at that moment.

Sonorous · Answer

I can outwardly accept it just fine. Say thanks & smile. But deep down, I'll always struggle accepting it. Humanity has been too harsh towards me for me to be so vulnerable to opinion in this way. So if someone compliments me, in an effort not to be hurt again, my brain will deny it & revert back to how I view myself. Helps for when people have harmful opinions. But doesn't help for the positive ones.

superchan2011 · Answer

It depends I think. If your last relationship ended on bad terms it's possible that you could not show love as well as you initially did due to being more guarded. But again I think that depends. Do you feel as though you've become more guarded?

Guanfei · Answer

You forget how being loved feels. Therefore you don't recognize the signs, and you navigate in some sort of emotional mud where you can't distinguish what is love, what is kindness, what is politeness, and what is abuse.

In the end you just get too cautious and reject everything because you're scared to misinterpret the signs and put yourself in a bad situation.

Bubbble · Answer

Yes, I kinda forgot to even have a conversation with a guy. Even when a guy said "take care", I was like... "I know how to take care of myself. Who are you telling me things?". Now, it's quite hard for me to initiate any relationship with any guy as I am too comfortable and get used to being single.

Dargil · Answer

When women have a high "number", how many does it take until you forget how to love and bond to men and children? I say 10 by age 30. You are played out.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, you can never forget that feeling.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you are closed off. that happens with emotions being blunted, just being tired. time for revival. happens.

Fireguy17 · Answer

nope, it comes right back. I have been single for extended periods of time by choice and had no problems at all when I got back into the mainstream.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Yes. It happens. I forgot how to do that professionally. 😅 i'm relearning.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I guess it depends on how your last entanglement ended. I know that I had to fix my emotional issues before I could form healthy relationships.

Noahnoon21 · Answer

No just embrace it and try again unless you’d prefer to be single

Heolurt · Answer

I've been single all my life, never been shown "love", not sure I would know it to accept it if by some miracle it did enter my life. I did give up trying though.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I have so many close friends that I could go celibate for life and still never forget how to give or accept love.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I've been single for 10 years now and yes, I can't see myself having a relationship again.

genericname85 · Answer

no. cause i love myself. so i don't forget how it feels to be loved :P

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Well I've been single enough by now to just accept that love was never real in the first place.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It’s wonderful that he cares about you

Tomisworthless · Answer

Youve been single for a month calm your tits lol

Mynameistommy · Answer

As someone who has been single for a long time, I started thinking love isn’t important. So yeah, i have a hard time to accept it. For sure.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

You just have to know that all men screw and submissive act is not going to change anybody

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I've BEEN SINGLE OVER 20 YEARS... NEVER HAD MUCH LUCK IN THAT DEPARTMENT

Anonymous · Answer

No, I could accept love, but I just can't get it from any girl.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never experienced it so you can't forget something you've never had

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Yep...

Lottydotty · Answer

Very much the struggle

Sonora81 · Answer

I could always accept love.

Masticophis · Answer

How would I forget how to accept love?

Anonymous · Answer

Love is a heart disease

msc545 · Answer

Yes you do

NathanDavis · Answer

no... I care

Jay-_- · Answer

Depends

eagle1951 · Answer

naaa

When you are single for long, do you almost forget how to accept love?

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