My boyfriend got sad when I told him he's better than my ex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 3 years randomly asked me why I chose to date him, and I said that he's better than my ex. My ex was extremely toxic and dumped me for another girl on my birthday, but this was a long time ago. After I said he's better than my ex, my boyfriend was like, nothing more? To which I replied, yes ig that's all? He became extremely sad about it but I have no idea why. Did I screw up? If yes, what can I do to rectify my mistakes?

[Orion84]

He kind of asked a stupid question, so it's not really your fault, but your response to him was basically, "You suck less."

Rather than compare him to your ex, try to point out his good qualities. What attracted you to him, in the first place? Does he make you laugh? Do you feel safe with him? Is he intelligent? Hot? Does he have a nice smile?

Taking your ex out of the comparison, your boyfriend just wants to know what you like about him, personally, not what you like in relation to someone else. He just didn't like that you used your ex as the standard, that's all.

[AviatorTom]

He's sad because you compared him to your ex, which means your ex is still in your head, and he realizes that he is still competing with him.. Wouldn't it have been better to compliment him on his own, rather than compare him? Maybe something like "I like the way you make me feel."

[ProbablyClueless]

You were put in a weird position by his question, but the reason he got weird is because the answer you gave doesn't distinguish him as a partner. He was hoping that you were going to say something that stuck out to you as like an "I'm dating John because he does _____" sort of thing that drew you him. Instead, the answer you gave comes across like you were running away from something else, as opposed to running to him.

[Asker]

Okay, I see ur point, maybe I chose the wrong words

[ProbablyClueless]

Don't beat yourself up over it. The situation could have been handled better, but (based on what you've shared here) the question you were being asked wasn't clear either.

You were asked why you're dating your boyfriend. The reason IS that you like him better than you liked your ex. Answering a question like that is just a weird spot to be in... That's all.

[slatyb]

That's a low bar that almost all men could meet. What do you like about HIM?

[Intheclouds00]

You compared him to someone that sucked. Sounds like anyone would be better than your ex. Not a way to make someone feel special.