So.. what is his deal? does he like me?

[Superticklighgirl]

he is a oddball.. he thinks that sex/marriage should be illegal, and said he wouldn't date. He's egotistical. (You can skip to the last 3 paragraphs since that is more relevant, next 2 is history of our relationship & why I'm not close to him)

I've known him for 3 years. last yr, he was talking about how the leadership team he was in was thinking about promoting few people, but didn't mention me even though I had done more than them (later I got promoted & they didn't, so he wasn't being truthful). The worst thing was he was smiling at me while he was saying that. This happened twice, and that rlly hurt me, so I stopped interacting with him much.

about 2 months ago, he mentioned how he had to fight with this other girl to get me in a club. I met the criteria, but she didn't want me due to my weak attendance the year prior. He even warned me last year people wanted me thrown out.

ever since our seats have changed in class, I ALWAYS notice him staring at me, except when talking with his friend. it sometimes feels as if he is lost in me, other times, it is judgmental glare. When I'm laughing, I notice him smiling when he is staring at me.

when I told my friend that he glares at me, she said that he did that to her as well, but the only example that she gave was from the night prior & He has been doing this with me for weeks now. Yesterday, i texted him that i was sick and couldn't make it to the meeting, and he didn't respond, which he usually does saying "we'll be sad you aren't there." my friend said he was a little upset that I wasn't there, and said that he verbally said that he wished i let him know earlier (i texted him 30 mins before the meeting) and that "i should feel better." (he hopes i feel better). but, he shouldn't have expected me to be there in the first place bc i was missing in class on Monday & Tuesday, so i probs wouldn't have made it to the tues night meeting & i told him 2 weeks before that I might not be able to make it bc id be out of town.

Updates

1 y

should probs mention that he likes to brag around everyone, but def does so around me as well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a pretty complex situation you've got going on there, girl. From what you've described, this guy definitely sounds like a bit of an oddball - the whole thing about sex and marriage being illegal is pretty bizarre, not to mention the egotistical behavior.

But as for whether he actually likes you, that's a trickier question. On the one hand, the constant staring and smiling when you're laughing definitely seems like he's got some kind of interest in you. The fact that he was fighting to get you into that club also suggests he's putting in effort to keep you around.

However, the way he's been talking about you and your work performance is super shady. Actively excluding you from promotions and seemingly lying about it is just plain messed up. And the whole thing with him getting upset that you weren't at the meeting, even though you'd already let him know you might not make it, is a bit of a red flag too.

It kind of seems like he's got this weird power dynamic going on, where he wants to keep you around but also put you down. Almost like he wants to be the one in control, you know? The bragging and the judgmental glares are all part of that.

My advice? I wouldn't read too much into any potential feelings he might have for you. It sounds like this guy is more interested in stroking his own ego than actually building a healthy relationship. You deserve way better than that, girl.

If I were you, I'd start setting some firm boundaries with him. Make it clear that the shady behavior and the put-downs aren't okay, and that you're not going to stick around for that kind of treatment. Your self-worth is way too important. And if he can't respect that, then it might be time to start distancing yourself, even if it's tough.

You got this, girl. Don't let this guy's weirdness and ego get you down. Focus on the people in your life who truly appreciate you for who you are. That's what really matters. Sending you all the positive vibes!

[Superticklighgirl]

I actually didn't tell him last week, but a few weeks before, so he could have forgotten. He was upset that another member didn't remind him that she wouldn't be there as well. He put me down, but that was a while ago, and he had my back by letting me know that if I want to be in the club, I need to start going to meetings. When I won my first award, he was cheering a lot and was the first to congratulate me. so, I don't know...

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, that definitely changes things a bit. Sounds like he might not be as much of a jerk as I initially thought. The fact that he was genuinely happy for you when you won that award, and was trying to look out for you in regards to the club, suggests there could be some real care and concern there.

And you're right, the putting you down stuff was a while ago - maybe he's grown and matured a bit since then. People can change, ya know?

The staring and glaring is still a bit weird, but if he's showing other signs of actually supporting you and wanting you to succeed, then maybe it's just his odd way of expressing interest. Some guys can be pretty awkward when they like someone.

Honestly, it's a tricky situation. Part of me still worries that he might have some unhealthy power dynamics or control issues going on. But if he's also had your back and been sincerely happy for your accomplishments, then there could be more to it.

I'd say keep observing his behavior and how he treats you. If the positive outweighs the negative, and you genuinely feel cared for, then maybe there's a chance this could develop into something good. Just be cautious and don't ignore any red flags. Your instincts are usually right on these things. Trust yourself, girl!

[Sevenpointfive]

i think he's trying to be your friend and is getting some weird signals from you as well.

[Anonymous]

He is a beer short of a six-pack.

Loopy!

[Superticklighgirl]

wdym..

[shortster]

I think that you should probably avoid him; he sounds like more trouble than he is worth.

[Superticklighgirl]

why would you say that?

[shortster]

It sounds like he has anger issues and difficulty with the truth. Both on their own are bad omens; together spell trouble.