Are you comfortable dating multiple people if there is no sex involved (dating as apposed to ”relationship”)?

[VIVANT]

Some people like to focus on only one person at a time where other people like to date multiple people. I don’t think I see an issue with it although I would feel weird to be dating someone who is dating like 10 people and was having sex with all of them- even if we weren’t having sex that would be disgusting to me. I wouldn’t want to touch them at all like even to kiss. 🤢

I think it’s probably good for some people who need a lot of attention because if you’re just in the beginning stages of getting to know someone you don’t wanna be super all over them, but you might have.. I don’t know attention needs so in that case dating a whole bunch of people until you narrow it down to someone you really get along with and may compliment your need for attention -or whatever - that might work out well. You can just replace attention with any other thing that you might need a lot of that you can’t really dump on someone in the beginning of getting to know them.

I don’t know that I could date people at once. I think it would be really exhausting, but I could see the merit in it for other people to do that.

I’m not referring to playing people. I’m referring to the situation where everyone is above board and you know if they’re dating other people and they know if you’re dating other people and if I got to the point where you wanted to have a relationship with a particular person, then you would stop seeing other people and they would stop seeing other people.

Sure thing no problem.

I have some problems.

Im undecided.

Definitely not.

OTHER.

I just wanna see results 👣👣👣👣👣👣

[Finchie40]

yes I can date multiple girls’ because to me , we are just getting to know each other and enjoying each others’ time together as friends’ mainly , I don’t necessarily go out and look for multiple girls’ to date at one time , but there was a time I was dating 6 girls’ at the same time , because they were coming on to me and showing interest in me and asking me out , even though i was completely honest with them and told all of them that I wasn’t rushing into a relationship with anyone , and I told them the truth that I am just having fun and dating other girls’ as well , all 6 of them didn’t seem to care , because they kept calling me to get together , I guess I was a challenge to them but we were just FWB’s mainly , so juggling all 6 of them was kind of hard to do but at the time I didn't care, because I was not ready for a relationships at that time , because my ex prior to these girls’, broke my heart when she cheated on me So my trust and respect for girls’ wasn’t something that sat well with me , at that particular time , so I was just having fun , I kinda of went through A don’t give a fuck stage in life. and just focused on myself. making out with all of them and having fun I eventually had sex with all of them as well , because I was being honest with them and they didn’t seem to care , which kind of shocked me and made me lose respect even more for girls’ by thinking girls’ don’t value commitment like I did , so at that time , I didn’t care , because I was just having fun and felt like I was this pimp because I had all these girls’ wanting me , but eventually, I realized it was time for me to settle down and to not juggle these girls’ anymore and to just pick one of them , and the one girl I picked , became my wife , because she was the most respectful one out of the bunch and she had more of a caring loving heart which I fell for , but damn I was wrong yet again lol I did ask all of them as to why they wanted to continue dating me and having sex with me , knowing I was still dating other girls’ and they all said because I was honest with them and I was fun to be around and some of them said , it’s just sex and they weren’t looking for a relationship neither , which at the time I kind of agreed with them , considering I didn't want a relationship either, I was young and single and loved to mingle pretty much , and it hit me that these girls’ were more than likely doing the same thing with guys’ as well , So now that I am older , and single again , I only prefer FWB’s with a girl with some strings attached , because I realized having sex with multiple people is dirty and dangerous , so I will only have sex with one girl that chooses to be FWB’s with me with some strings attached. I look back at my younger years at times and think if I knew then what I know now , about girls’ my relationships would of been a lot different , because I feel like I became wiser , when it comes to girls’ , now that I had my fair share of experiences with them. Most girls’ I date now are very selfish and only really think about themselves, another reason I am not jumping into a relationship fast. Most girls’ are sweet and innocent and loving in the beginning, but as time goes on most of them change for the worst and become selfish and miserable, thinking grass is greener on the other side , so I no longer jump into relationships with girls’ FWB’s with some strings attached only

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was younger (around age 25,) I briefly dated two women and having a sexual relationship with both of them. After the initial excitement wore off (about three or four days,) I felt horribly guilty and ended one relationship.

Since then, I have never had two sexual relationships simultaneously. When using online dating, there were a few times when I had two women I saw for a first or second date at the same time. However, nothing was sexual and, after three dates, I would either break up or become exclusive with one of them.

[VIVANT]

Yeah, I can’t really see doing that any other way to be involved with multiple people sexually would just be an instant though, but I don’t really think it’s a big deal to see a bunch of people at once as long as there’s no sex. I mean a “bunch of people” I don’t know how common that is anyways. Lol

[OlderAndWiser]

I never dated more than two women simultaneously.

[ShellyB]

It is the same with or without sex in my opinion, the question is if one thinks there is commitment and the other lets them think that without acting that way. If it is obvious that you’re just casually dating and nobody misunderstands then it is fine. JMO!

[katiesmuff]

Your single and just dating doesn't make it a relationship so like people who use dating sites to date different people it is fine. That would be an efficient way to learn about different people.

[HawkPerception]

I have dated 2 girls at the same time (not being in a relationship with either) briefly until I decided I wanted to be with one of them. They both knew I was still dating and were okay with it. I think it's okay in the phase where you're figuring out if they're a fit for you or not.

If you become physically intimate with someone though, that should what signifies that you're with them

[NathanDavis]

while single... I don't really "date around"

but I do hang out with friends, and their friends, and I just happen to meet new people sometimes, then I do hang out with them...

but I never really make it about "let's date and try to see where it goes" at least not planned as a thing, no

it's always happened "naturally" than whenever I meet someone and I become way more intrigued and interested on them (and them, on me) I just end up hanging out and going out with that one, way more often... and then, stuff just happens... lol

[VIVANT]

Yeah to me saying snd hanging out are indistinguishable except attraction lol which no one roll be sure of initially.

[VIVANT]

Will*

[NathanDavis]

I guess I like to roll the dices like that... haha

since I am usually more attracted to how people are, more than how they look like... it can take me some time to find myself attracted to that someone, I just need to know a bit better about them and for that I have to get to know them a bit better in the first place

I don't like to idealize people either, definitely not based on impressions

[Zack-Bann]

If anything it would be easier to have casual sex with multiple people as opposed to dating them without sex


That’s because the currency of dating is intimacy and it’s not available in abundance.


It would be dishonest to share intimacy with a person if you’re gonna snap your fingers and share intimacy with someone else


So no. I wouldn’t date multiple people and would end it if I found out Im part of a woman’s rotation

[VIVANT]

Hmm that does makes sense when you put it like that. And of course I’m not promoting mass dating styles myself I’d find it exhausting and weird.

I think it may work for the more surface cell operators…I was thinking of a very casual Introduction…then by the time there heightened intimacy the exclusivity would be in order

I suppose the expediency of becoming intimate varies person to person.

I absolutely love that you distinguished infancy from see in the right order.

Very rare!!

[Lliam]

I never dated multiple girls at once. I might have had multiple female friends and potential dates. But if I started dating someone, it was with the intention of becoming boyfriend-girlfriend. So I gave them my full attention. I thought it would be disrespectful to date others at the same time. I picked the best of my options to actually date.

We usually became exclusive right away and became sexual quickly.

[Sevenpointfive]

that doesn't sound like dating at all. if you said to me i wouldn't talk to you again. i actually dated one girl who stopped having sex with me, so i dumped her. she was a stupid girl that was playing a game she wasn't going to win.

(she got pregnant in high school and had to give up her baby for adoption. but she told me that she didn't want to get pregnant or have me wear condoms. that was fine until she stopped having sex.)

so, i took the hint earlier on (we only dated 3 months) and didn't put much into the relationship. i was leaving anyway once i graduated. what happens? she gets pregnant with the new boyfriend. gets married and moves to Canada. and 3 months later she's back with her mom. i dodged a bullet. i do feel sorry for the guy.

[Shark_61695]

I'm not sure, I've had so few relationships and for such a short amount of time, I couldn't tell you.

But knowing my luck if I do get into a relationship, I'll suddenly have multiple and not know what to do about it.

[VIVANT]

😂😅🙂

[DannyUk2017]

Nope! I'm a One at the Time person, don't like to be in a "sea" and risking to get "drowned", nuhuh...

[VIVANT]

😅😅

[DannyUk2017]

@VIVANT... is true...😅😂, you know what thye say, can't kill 2 birds with one stone", so instead of "explaining myself" from one to another, rather.. one at a time...😅

[VIVANT]

Oh, I totally understand. I couldn’t date multiple people be exhausting as anything, but I’m just curious how people feel about it

To me as a concept. I f done honestly , think it’s fine. I just couldn’t do it. 😓

I feel like I was cheating on everyone and it’s hard enough to understand one person. Oh my gosh, could you imagine multiple at the same time? Nope 👎🏽

[DannyUk2017]

@VIVANT... Exactly! Feels like i'm cheating on each of them, which is not my style...🤷‍♂️

[AmeerX]

My expensive, if you are talking to multiple people at a time. You are not dating. You are just doing selection. And it ends badly because of waste of the person's time.


If someone is interested, they should just say it. End of story. That long and lengthy dating and then saying "I was never interested is a total nonsense".

[AmeerX]

My experience* about dating

[Jamie05rhs]

Dating? Definitely not.
Hanging out? Maybe. But I'm going to have walls up in order to keep things professional. I don't want anyone to get their heart broken.

[VIVANT]

How do you separate hanging out from saying if there’s potential interest they seem to be one and the same to me.

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT If there's potential interest then the parties involved should speak up and say something. 🤷

[VIVANT]

Often doesn’t happen for some time lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT How long would you stay silent and keep them in the dark?

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Nope... Your all monsters lol.

Imagine actually liking somone, you think about them, have some aspirations of where it might lead, talking, paying for dates etc.

And they are off getting filled in by dave in the club and chatting to 6 other people. Crazzy.

There's no reason to date multiple people, pick 1, date them... If they ain't right or it's not working out, fine. Leave... Start talking to somone ells.

So disrespectful it's unreal.

[ProbablyClueless]

I wouldn't see that as a problem (assuming everyone is on the same page), but I also kinda don't see the point. If you aren't having sex with the people you're dating, you're really just friends. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's not really "dating" dating.

[VIVANT]

Getting to know someone you’re attracted to is bit different then just being friends… I guess maybe it’s hard to explain if someone sees sex as the defining difference 🙂

Well one difference is if you feel attraction but decide you’re not compatible, you might just stop spending time together different than an actual friendship.

[msc545]

I have dated multiple women at the same time and had sex with all of them without telling them. I would not like it if they did that to me, but I liked what I was doing.

[VIVANT]

Maybe they were all doing the same thing to you.

[msc545]

They may have been. I didn't ask, but I have an instinct for this since I did so much of it myself.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't really do dates... I just have girls come over to my place and I fuck. I'm a big fan of sticking my thumb in their butt or making them eat my wife out when I do it.

[andreasderjuengere]

Not having sex actually makes me feel some kind of uncomfortable :)

[VIVANT]

For casual dating even?

[andreasderjuengere]

The dating and mating rituals in my own surrounding see nothing wrong with sex :)
... and nothing too wrong with meeting more than one at a time.
As long as it's consensual, I see no harm done.

[VIVANT]

What country are you from (unless if you mind answering nice a continent 🙂)

[andreasderjuengere]

Raised in Germany's north. In close touch with the "alternative" subculture. Now living in Thailand.

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely not. I don't have enough intimacy to spread amongst multiple people, nor do I want to.

[VIVANT]

Yup this does indeed make sense to me. 👍🏽

I like the way intimacy is being used correctly on this post ☺️

[KrakenAttackin]

Thank you.

[DrPepper12]

No sex then it's all good. Now, should you disclose this? 🤔 I don't know

[VIVANT]

Hmm I guess if there’s no sex you don’t have to mention it but I’m not sure it would be right not to. And also mentioning it can make things weird.

I wouldn’t care if someone was seeing someone else— if we’re just dating. And I think I wouldn’t want to talk about it.

[DrPepper12]

That sounds like best case scenario

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It looks technically impossible for me to be presented with such a situation, since I don't rely on dating to form relations. All clear💅🏼

[the_kisses_of_sun]

I can't do that. Just one person is enough and manageable for me. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[VIVANT]

Yup I hear you. 👍🏽

[RingOfFire]

I've never been comfortable with dating more than one woman at a time. I like to put all my energy into someone who I feel would be a prospect for something deeper. I tried dating multiple women a few times and it felt shallow. After a while I was asking myself what the point was.

[KostasKouvalis]

No, that's basically cheating and if more than one of them end up falling for you or vice versa it will be really messy and someone's feelings or even face will get hurt. I don't understand how anyone can do that, honestly. I would always feel I was their second choice. I don't understand American dating culture. You should date people you have a genuine connection and feelings for

[TonyMetal___86]

Definitly not, if i want to date a girl it meams i want a serious relationship with her which leads to marriage and you know me well skyscrapper girl that personally i don't think about sex before marriage 😌

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not, not for very long at least, but I don’t mind if other people do that. None of my business anyway.

[TallAnon]

I like to stay with one person and would prefer the same.

[VIVANT]

In a relationship yes but if you’re just getting to know, people doesn’t really matter?

[TallAnon]

For sure, but even dating, I prefer to focus on one person. But hey, that's also part of why I'm single 😁

[playboxidroid]

I WOULD RESPECT IT IF A WOMAN WOULD ACTUALLY STIOP BASING A MAN'S WORTH BASED ON HIS MONETARY VALUE!!! THAT'S IT!

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think dating more than one person would overstimulate me.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I've done 3 first dates in a week but once I went on a second date it was one at a time

[Bricealan]

@VIVANT Best possible, not commitment and no jealousy

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

For a short period of time but I'd hope I'd end up in a relationship with someone that I'm dating.

[Redstang88]

Nope, never gone past a first date talking to more than one girl. Just not how I work

[Jerre]

I have sex with every woman I date. We’ve sexting each other before the date so we both know what is going to happen.

[Jerre]

@VIVANT Thank you for the Like

[SunnyRS]

One person at a time for me luv so I don't think I can.

[Pohjolan]

If I was serious about dating a person then there is no need to date anyone else.

Someone who is dating multiple people at once is just looking for short term mating.

[exitseven]

I dated multiple people before. It was fun for a while.

[shortster]

Until you get into an exclusive relationship you should date as many people as you like. A lot of first dates don't even turn into a second one.

[Vegasrunner]

I wouldn't date any woman if there's no sex involved.

[Iron_Man]

No that would cost a fortune and what am I gonna get out of it No relationship

[Agape93]

Absolutely, even with sex.

[worldscolide]

Not only no but hell no

[MysticDevice]

Definitely not something I'm interested in.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes. Part of my wide net philosophy.

[jahaims]

Nope

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes im okay with it are you

[strateguy632]

I wouldn't.

[MasterKS]

without sex i won't!

[eagle1951]

not really