Do you agree with dating multiple people at the same time?

Question

I think dating apps have desensitised us, people are no longer treated with kindness/fairness.

When you're dating someone you can sure as hell expect them to be seeing 2-5 other girls/guys until your 'exclusive'.

I find that quiet silly, if you are interested in me and i am into you, why the need to see other people. It's like you're not even trying to form a connection. The term 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' is so annoying. No ones telling you to marry this person, they don't have to be the be all and end all of your life.

But I think it's just respectful (cant even use the term common courtesy) to date one person at a time, rather than seeing multiple people until you decide to be exclusive with one.

In a generation that has been nurtured to compete and not 'miss out', I think everyone is so set on not limiting their so called 'options'. We forget that we are dealing with people, and giving your full attention to ONE potential partner, does not limit your options from meeting 'the one'. If anything you're giving yourself a wholehearted opportunity to see if they are the right person for you. Just give people a chance to show who they really are.

In today's generation
- Girls: 'Dave didn't compliment my outfit, Nick and John did, goodbye Dave'.

- Guys: 'Louise laughs at my jokes, but Amy and Gemma look prettier laughing, C yaa Lou'

It's become ridiculous that a guy gets shocked when I say his the only person I'm seeing right now, as if I am Virgin Mary in disguise.

Maybe i'm just a boring old fart, born in the wrong generation who should shut up. But i'm sick of this emphasis on 'exclusivity'; declaring it has become as significant as proposing to a partner.

So what are your opinions?

skytatoe · Accepted Answer

Well you can be instested in someone and spend time with them, dating. But until you know they're worth investing in exclusively, then I don't think its wrong to date other people.

Of course you're right in the sense that it does make it a lot more difficult to form any sort of meaningful connection with someone if you're just one out of 5 or 6 people they're seeing and vice versa. Its counterproductive if you're looking for a more meaningful connection. But you also gotta know a lot of people say they want that but act the opposite so they're essentially full of shit. Dating multiple people at the same time saves you from wasting all that time on dating someone who you later find out was completely not worth your time.

Myquietsoul · Accepted Answer

It depends what you mean. If you simply means going on a single date with multiple people or talking to multiple people to fish them out then no, there's nothing wrong with that. When you're young, especially under 25, you should cast your net wide by weighing your options. But if you're talking about dating as in y'all are texting/talking on the phone everyday, constantly telling each other intimate details of y'all lives, hanging out super often and basically boyfriend and girlfriend in everything but name, then yes, it's wrong to be like, "I was just talking to you, it wasn't anything serious" and going around seeing other people

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If I were dating two guys at once o wouldn't be as invested in getting to know each on as properly as I would if I were just seeing the one, I'd find it even harder to choose between the two too because they'd both likely have opposing aspects I like and dislike in each. For clarity's sake I find it more logical to date one person at a time and and give it a genuine shot and if it doesn't work then just move onto the next one.

candycanehearts · Accepted Answer

i would never date two people at once, if i dated someone else while dating the first guy, i obviously dont like him as much as i thought so i would break up with the first dude

_NoOneImportant_ · Accepted Answer

No, and people who actually believe that's acceptable can just screw themselves

Logorithim · Answer

This is too much trouble (imagine texting multiple girlfriends or boyfriends multiple times a day as well as your friends) and prevents you from developing a really good relationship at all, and, furthermore, you probably would end up losing all of the relationships due to scheduling conflicts and being unable to focus on each person individually.

jaydtre · Answer

I think it’s fine as long as you’re real with yourself about what your intentions are and that your actions reflect them. Going on a first dates with a couple of men/women is harmless in my opinion, I mean you don’t really know how you feel about that person until like the 2nd or 3rd date anyway.

Also it’s not like each person you date is gonna potentially go anywhere. You could meet one girl for the first time and at the end know you don’t plan to see her again because there was no chemistry. Maybe go on date number 2 with another girl and maybe you guys bring up a topic that ends up being a dealbreaker for the two of you. Then there’s the last girl who you’re out with on date number 4 and you’re head over heels for her.

There’s nothing wrong with having options if you’re mature about the way you go about dating.

Ripper_E · Answer

Depends on how serious it is. Like a first date isn't that serious, so it's not a big deal if you go on multiple first dates, but by the 3rd 4th date, if you're not interested, let it be. Don't lead that person on, don't lead each other on, while seeing other people.

mike5150 · Answer

I only have dated one at a time. To truly get to know someone I can't be out with them trying to compare them to someone else. I remember some girl I tried to date told me she was dating other guys, that was the last time I ever spoke to her. I know dating one person at a time isn't for everyone but feeling like your just some random person to someone you have dated for a while is insulting.

Iron_Man · Answer

That would be quite expensive for man to take on 4 or 5 woman at once on different occasions

slatyb · Answer

Young people are too quick to form an exclusive relationship. This is a poor strategy for finding a life partner. It's better to meet a lot of possibles to get an idea of who's available and what sort of person works for you.

Anonymous · Answer

If I found out the person who I was dating was I’d walk away.

JesseTheMan · Answer

Yeah I agree with you. Should should focus on one person at a time.

Anonymous · Answer

Learned that the hard way😂 Never doing it again!! Broked up with all yesterday and removed the idea from my head. Oh and by the way girls do too and not all guys do this 😝

Anonymous · Answer

It's ridiculous in my opinion. I've never had the audacity to see multiple girls at the same time.

Pauliho · Answer

No I don't. Too many girls to think of and people tire me out enough as it is

Anonymous · Answer

No i think you can't choose both. Because they're human and they have "feeling". So being second is often end with hurt him or yourself

iamshan · Answer

People are treating each other as clothes and not as sentient beings.

Legendary_Geeze · Answer

Depends on; Number and how safe you're being,,,, I. e preventing S. T. D etc

wandererr · Answer

I agree with everything you wrote up top. That's stuff is on point

BobbyBland · Answer

This been going on from generation to generation. Technology just broadening the playing field.

sidvt · Answer

Practically it doesn't work out

YOUTOOSHOULDJUDGE · Answer

Not my style.

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