Should I feel bad about dating multiple people at once?

Question

I know you should play the field and not put all your eggs in one basket but I feel bad dating more than one person. It feels icky. I've never done the dating more than one person thing and honestly doesn't feel right.

I just want to find my person but not like this 😪 I'm a penguin not a hedge sparrow.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I know the feeling, but it comes down to your decision and what you feel is best for you , Dating just means you are getting to know someone , there is no strings attached to either of you whatsoever, until you both agree to only be with each other. So yes you are playing the field but as long as you aren’t misleading them and you are being completely honest with them , then you have nothing to worry about , because as of now you are just an acquaintance to each of them and slowly trying to get to know them , you are still single until you decide what you want to do and who you choose to be with. I dated 6 girls’ at one time once before , and I was nothing but honest with all of them , I was honest by telling all of them that I am not looking to rush into a relationship with anyone , until I really get to know someone So I am dating and taking things slow , basically giving her an option on whether she wants to continue dating me or not. Then I will ask her if she is dating anyone else as well? , and if she said yes , then I know she is on the same page as me , if she says No? Then I knew that’s up to her on whether she wants to date others’ or not. But overall these 6 girls’ still wanted to date me and accepted my honesty. Some of them tried to get me jealous by telling me they were going on a date with another guy when I called and asked her to hang out , and I just said that’s cool , have a great time , I will talk to you later , to find out they weren’t going on dates with anyone else because they would call me back and say change of plans they cancelled on me , so do you want to get together? Giving me an option on whether I wanted to or not. I knew some of these girls’ were lying to try to get me jealous but little did they realize , I wasn’t jealous at all , they were the ones that were jealous. Sometimes they would call me to get together and I declined and said sorry but I already have other plans but I am free tomorrow or whatever day I was free. So yes part of me felt bad because they would get jealous but i realized they can be jealous all they wanted because I was not committed to any of them and being completely honest with them. They had a choice on whether they wanted to continue seeing me or not. It only got hard when I started forgetting what days I already made plans with some of these girls ‘ and that’s when I realized I have to stop doing this and just pick one girl. The girl I ended up picking was my wife

DrPepper12 · Accepted Answer

No. As long as your honest with them it's fine, even encouraged! I wish you so much luck & love - you seem like one of the truly good ones!!

ohsheeT · Answer

Hey you just went through something you can do anything you want you'll find the right way to do it after you come down a little bit but when you're telling us all about it don't say put in your eggs all in one basket cuz you know what that sounds like LOL to be honest it's it's nobody's business and you can do what you want to do if that's what you need to get through what you have just gone through then do it it's just a moment in time that moment will pass

Summeroflove · Answer

That’s you and stick to your morals obviously cheating is wrong but if you’re not committed it’s fine to date around. Dating to see who you build a genuine connection with is by far different then dating to do other stuff… and I think you know what I mean.

But you do you. If you feel icky don’t do it. Listen to your conscience because a lot of people don’t and that’s a dangerous game you don’t want t play

AviatorTom · Answer

That's up to you to decide. There is a lot right in dsting different people, looking for the one that is most compatible.

snowboarder720 · Answer

Should you feel bad? No. Dating honestly doesn’t have rules but it shows how seriously you’re taking the other person.
It’s not easy finding your person. Dating more than just one at a time seems the most efficient. If it helps you find your person then why not? You might step on some toes when you do but that’s really their problem. Live life to your own standards instead of trying to make others happy based on how they think you should live your life.
You want to date multiple people? Do it. Be unapologetically yourself.

HighValue · Answer

3 + dates with someone is a relationship, so dating more than one person after that point it is cheating.

Was it discussed with them by the second date that you are seeing multiple people?

If you do decide to have an exclusive LTR with one of them and say that you went on 5 dates with other guys while you were first dating the guy you want to have a relationship with, can he later go on 5 dates with other women and it is okay since you did the same?

Think about it from both sides. And the answer is yes. Any moral person should feel bad when doing immoral things.

lorenzomichael · Answer

No I don’t think so. In fact that how I think it’s much easier to find the one you like most and see if there is something that might be worth keeping. Because it’s my experience that there are a lot of single people out there that at first you think, this person seems cool and ok then 4 months later your like this shit is ridiculous the sex is good but I rather jerk off. I now have to come up with something to say to get rid of this chick. Believe me I would like to shear all that I have with that special girl and pamper her because I love her. But that seems like a far off reality. My friends boys & girls both say it might be money there after. And I really really hate that shit. Because I’ve been told that I’m really funny I end up saying this “ Money can’t buy me happiness but it sure could buy me a nice boat to sail around all my misery.”🤣🤣

purplepoppy · Answer

Yes, basically it's a hundred times worse than being a whore. If you date a guy you date ONE guy. If it's not working out end the relationship and find another. If on the other hand your just looking for sex and want to sleep around make that clear so he doesn't think he's dating you. If you find a guy you want to date then stop sleeping around.

molonski2 · Answer

Are you having sex with both of them? If so maybe there's a problem , if NOT.. then who possibly cares? If you are dating them , you may as well select at least one to sleep with to make it worthwhile.

But , Zero problem doing two of them at once , no problem for sure , get amongst it.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Good for you. There is a great variation in the human relationship. Non are inherently right or wrong ways to feel. There are ones that are maladaptive and ones that are healthy. Seems yours is pretty healthy. Particularly because you aren't harming anyone else.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

No, that's what dating is for. Gradually, you pare them down to just the one person you feel is best for you and you stick with just him. Or, if none of them work out, you find others to go out with `til you find Mr. Right (as opposed to Mr. Right Now.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I wouldn’t do that if I were dating. It’s called leading them on… making them think things will work out. Then when you don’t choose them they’ll become upset and hurt. Dating multiple people isn’t a good idea only causes unnecessary drama

AmeerX · Answer

I think Vivant asked a similar question. Well if it was ideal we should be dating 1 person at a time.
I personally used to have crush on one person at a time and now I think it's better to talk to multiple people at least in first couple of months and filter out those who are no serious about marriage and family

msc545 · Answer

You don't necessarily have to feel bad about it, but it's also very easy to hurt people when you are doing this kind of thing. Please be very discreet and very careful about your activities so as not to hurt others.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

"Should I feel bad about..." Asking strangers to validate or cancel your guilt is odd to me, does it work? I don't know, I'm used to look at how I feel, not how I should feel.

Apple1996 · Answer

Don't feel bad your not committed to any of them so just date around

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Treat it like mating season 😆 no cause not , it's not like your sleeping with them re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Jacowen____ · Answer

No. I've dated multiple women in my youth, chasing that perfect girl, that all elusive soul mate. That special one. We all long for them don't we. I hope you find him. I assume it's a him anyway. If not then it doesn't matter, it's all applicable just the same. Best of luck.

Innerdesire · Answer

Aslong as you are exclusive with either of them then it's fine, just don't mix up the names lol plus it's good to see who's more compatible, emotionally aswell as physically and see if there's a spark.

I know it may feel deceiving but aslong as it doesn't get too serious or the use of girlfriend/boyfriend time then go with it

MzAsh · Answer

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re allowed to see whomever you choose unless you’ve promised someone you’re not seeing other people. Otherwise you’re a free, single woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Disclaimer:  I don't have experience with romantic relationships, so take my response with a grain of salt.  Why do you feel bad? Are you physical during the first few dates (e. g. hugs, kissing)? If yes, maybe that is why you feel bad/icky. As a date, just walk/sit in a public area (e. g. park) with plain clothes and ask each other questions.

Kayleigh2005 · Answer

Well if they know u are dating around wouldn’t they just see u as a fck?  I don’t think u will get a chance at a serious one?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not at all. Date many and date often.

Truthatanycost · Answer

It sounds like you started doing what society expected of you, rather than doing what you expected of yourself...

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I understand how you feel but now dating has changed, there’s no guarantee the person you exclusively date will do the same or be a match. As soon as he commits to you I’d say that would be considered cheating.

Zack-Bann · Answer

No you shouldn’t feel bad about not doing the thing that destroys most relationships 😊

itsannalee · Answer

Is u okay with those guys dating multiple girls while dating you, you shouldn’t feel bad.

4ngelic · Answer

isn't dating multiple people at once hardcore cheating...

Joshua_H_1010011001 · Answer

Yes...  It's not right.  Do better.

Gwendoline · Answer

Yes. You feel bad because your conscience knows its wrong.

bowenw · Answer

If they are all casual acquaintances, I would be okay with dating multiple people. If one was serious, I would not.

slatyb · Answer

Absolutely not, as long as you aren't lying about it.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

No, if you’re single that’s expected. However, being in a committed relationship is a different story

dragoblack · Answer

I understand and you should honestly do what feels right. I understand playing the field is efficiency, but you're also messing with the hearts of others which is the moral dilemma

MikeTheBartender · Answer

No. It's called dating. If you're sleeping w multiple it can be a grey area.

Aimée__LJ · Answer

Nothing wrong with it so long as they all know you're not exclusive

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

It's a trash move and guys would consider it cheating or at the very least slutty.

soe11 · Answer

Yes you can. Be safe having intercourse. Good opinion.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I could never date more than one person at a time as it would be spreading my intimacy much too thin.

David5668 · Answer

Depends on if you don’t mind the risk of burning your fingers.

Slim57 · Answer

No, as long as you cut it short and don't lead the other people on with the ones you're really not that interested in

Paige90 · Answer

Are you having sex with all of them?

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Yeah. Someone's gonna end up hurt

es20490446e · Answer

You don't need to get to know people by dating them to start with.

Graptemys79 · Answer

Do they know you are dating others?

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. I do the same till I commit.

Ironco · Answer

I got to ask.. what's a hedge sparrow?

katiesmuff · Answer

If just dating there should be no issue.

jazzy34 · Answer

That would be overwhelming for me. 😅

thorboy · Answer

One man can't satisfy her She needs more wood for the fire

Massageman · Answer

No. Just feel Normal.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Are you polyamorous?

MK1997 · Answer

I agree

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