Cougars, what attracts you in younger men?

[more_than_a_guy]

[Anonymous]

I'm currently dating a guy 13 years younger than me, and I honestly kind of hate it when I get called a 'cougar'. It implies that women dating younger men (like me) were aggressively pursuing getting a younger man. It makes us sound like we're either having some midlife crisis (at best) or that we're downright predatory (at worse)

When it comes to my relationship, neither of those things are true. In fact, I was not the pursuer at all. He was the one that pursued me, and he actually had to do quite a bit of convincing for me to give him a real chance because I was so concerned about him being so much younger.

Additionally, I hate the implication of possible predatory behavior. There is a big age gap, but we're still in an equal consensual relationship. I really don't like this idea that the woman being quite a bit older changes that.

Also, people often assume that our relationship isn't serious. They assume that we're only interested in having a fling or primarily physical relationship that isn't serious. While we do have a physical relationship that doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of love and commitment there too beyond just the physical. People who assume otherwise because of our age gap are undermining and overlooking the emotional investment and commitment we have in each other. This becomes particularly relevant when family and friends are constantly belittling your relationship over this assumption

Also, it's pretty sexist. Because women who date younger men (especially much younger men) are breaking the social norm that men date younger women (and women date older men) there's often a lot more judgement (there's no term for men who date a woman 13 years younger, for example). Because of that there's a lot more social judgement and gossip around our relationship than there would be if the genders were reversed.

So I really hate the term 'cougar', and I wish it would just disappear from being used in regards to describing older women dating younger men.

[12karen]

Their youth lol