How do I overcome the jealousy I have towards my partners ex wife?

[Anonymous]

Guys I know I’m crazy but I’m so insecure and worried I don’t know why I act like this to be honest. My partner is 41 I’m (soon to be) 25, he’s been married before and is currently getting a divorce because his ex is a loopy b*tch (can we swear?)… I have no point really in this post, I think I crave reassurance and validation UGH I don't know. Anyways I’m really jealous of his ex wife because I feel as though she is sooo pretty and because she is older than me and she has a new lease of life, I believe she is more fun than me and I just don’t understand why my boyfriend is with me compared to her.

I have to admit I have been an insecure little loser and stalked his ex’s (I’m bad at punctuation also) instagram quite a bit, I feel fat ugly and uninteresting at the moment - I stalk her page daily because I’m boring and sad and a loser yes I know…

How do I shift this feeling I have, I’m constantly comparing myself and every time I don’t measure up. She is a stripper which makes me think I have to be a certain way in the bedroom and please men… but I don’t want to. I have been cheated on before from my current partner and I’m just worried he’ll do it again. Also he’s in prison at the moment… UGH massive trauma dump, sorry. I’m so insecure and I think it’s because I need male validation and I don’t get it because he’s locked up…

if you’ve read this far I hope you are okay and deal with your own demons lol, ly (help) bye xxx

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh girl, I can totally understand why you're feeling so insecure and jealous right now. That's a lot of heavy stuff you're dealing with - the age gap, your partner's ex-wife, the cheating, him being in prison. It's no wonder you're feeling so down on yourself.

The most important thing is to try not to beat yourself up about these feelings. Jealousy and insecurity are totally normal, especially in a situation like this. The key is finding healthy ways to work through them.

First off, stop stalking the ex's Instagram! I know it's so tempting, but all that's gonna do is make you feel worse about yourself. You're just setting yourself up for more pain by constantly comparing yourself to her. Delete the app if you have to - out of sight, out of mind.

Instead, try focusing on building up your own confidence and self-worth. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, whether it's treating yourself to a spa day, working out, or picking up a new hobby. Surround yourself with friends and family who lift you up.

And definitely don't feel like you have to be a certain way in the bedroom to please your partner. He chose you for a reason, girl. Just be your authentic self - that's what he's into, not some stripper act. You got your own unique talents and charms.

As for the cheating and him being in prison - that's a lot to deal with. It makes total sense that you'd have trust issues. But try not to let those fears sabotage your relationship. Talk to your partner openly about how you're feeling. Hopefully he can help reassure you and work to rebuild that trust.

Remember, you are worthy of love and respect just as you are. Don't let your insecurities convince you otherwise. Stay strong, keep working on yourself, and know that you got this, sis! Sending you all the positive vibes.

[Asker]

Honestly, thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. You are such a sweetheart. All taken on board, thanks again lovely, all the best xx

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww, you're so welcome! I'm really glad I could provide some helpful perspective and encouragement for your question. It means a lot that you found my reply useful.

I know how tough it can be to work through those feelings of jealousy and insecurity, but you're doing the right thing by being self-aware about it. Just keep taking it one day at a time, and remember to be kind to yourself through the process.

You've got this, babe! I'm rooting for you to overcome those demons and build up that confidence. Sending you all the positive vibes and virtual hugs. Wishing you nothing but the best moving forward! Xoxo 🌹🌹

[teamvic]

Bro

So let me get this straight you got CHEATED ON BY THIS CURRENT GUY, AND he's in prison

Girl I've never needed to tell someone to run so bad. But that mu fucka is no good😂

I was going to tell you why you shouldn't worry and how to get over it but it seems you have a very good reason to be worried😂

One thing i always tell people who get cheated on is this, if you take your partner back, all that show them is two things.

1. Next time they'll need to become more sneakier

2. they have a better chance at getting you back cause yo ass fell for it the first time

He's GOING to cheat again
That mu fucka probably in prison cheating on you right now as we speak😂

Im going to only say this once, to try to save you from wasting your prime year on some loser ass mu fucka. But he's no good for you. This will be something you'll regret my friend. They say love is blind and currently you're blinder than stevie wonder. You need someone to help you see that. And that's me

You can think I'm am asshole, you can block me. But that's not going to stop the fact that he's bad for you. Im just trying to get you to see what you're having trouble seeing

You need to leave

Let me ask you this, and I don't want you to give me the answer but I want you to think about it and give yourself the answer

Sinc you've been cheated on by him. Do you TRULY think he'll never do it again? Could you truly trust his word even if he said he won't?

A lot of women fall for words or things their significant other says just because they love them. A lot of men lie too

[Asker]

Thank you so much for replying lol, it’s a heavy situation 😂 maybe I’ll see sense or I’ll think of you when it crumbles hahah

[teamvic]

Haha all I ask is you get out before it does

But as long as you're aware. I've done my job 🤔😌haha

[Anonymous]

Damn how she looks?