How to deal with a jealous ex partner of your new partner?

[Talldutchie]

I have been with my man for 5 years now and we do love each other! He has a child with another woman, who is his ex.

I love my man and also his son to bits and treat him as one of mine. I respect her because she is his mother and I am actually always nice to her as well. There's no way he wants her back as a lot has happened, however she keeps calling me names and mostly behind my back (hi Tyson, I appreciate how Tessa looks after her boy but I don't trust the bitch.) - so that kinda stuff she says to my man about me. Calling me bitch, and in my face she's all nice and kind.

I confronted her once and she said that that's just the language and way her and my man used to speak together. To me that seems off and he claims she's jealous as he (he's black) went from her (also black) to me, a blonde white woman.

I will keep being nice, but as asked in my first ever question here some days ago, I do sometimes almost feel like, and fantasize about just setting the damn score in a one vs one with her! I would already have done that, if they didn't have a kid together. Yes, her words are bothering me and I need to avoid it getting out of hand or find a way to get this over with asap!

I added a photo of both her and I in my "catfight" question if you'd like to see us. Sorry, I am kinda desperate and need to find a way to handle the situation. My man tries to keep us away from meeting each other, which for now seems the best.

[OrhanKultigin]

You should deal with her harsh, show her her place

[Talldutchie]

It crosses my mind. But she has a kid with my man and don't want my man never to see his kid because of a fight I have with her.

[OrhanKultigin]

Okay. I have no other option

[Talldutchie]

What would u like say to her or ask her?

[OrhanKultigin]

I would say find yourself another man

[In_Trance]

stop paying attention to your ex

[Talldutchie]

U mean my husband should? Or she should?

[caring__1]

Settling the score is impossible. All you'd achieve is to descend to her level.

Let's say she calls you a redhead instead of a bitch. Would that bother you as much? Generally, we're not bothered by facts we know to be false. When we believe there's some truth to the statement, it is more likely to bother us. If she calls you a redhead, you'll just see her as weird or needing to go see an eye doctor.

It's good your partner keeps the two of you apart, as it appears you have issues with this woman and might act on them. I'd suggest therapy for you to deal with your underlying issues, as you have no control over the other woman. When you see your therapist, focus on how things impact you, not the behavior of others. Accept people as they are rather than focus on what you believe they should be. After all, you wouldn't want others to constantly focus on how they believe you should be. You're not going to like everyone you meet in life. When possible, disconnect from these people. When that isn't possible, maintain a professional relationship only. Never give personal information they can use against you. You're not going to significantly change for others, and others won't significantly change for you.

In your situation, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. Wherever you focus will be the direction you will go. If you're critical of negative, you'll get more negative; if you're appreciative of positive, you'll get more positive. If you focus on what you don't want, you'll get more of what you don't want; if you focus on what you do want, you'll get more of what you do want. Just show appreciation for her positive actions and ignore her negative actions, viewing her negative actions as personal challenges she's facing that are none of your business.

The more you invest in her life, the more of your assets you're wasting. Picture this like a boat. I'm not sure if you know what a boat is, but here is the definition: A boat is a hole in the water into which you throw your money.

[Guy13]

I thought you beat her up, Dead already 🤷🏻‍♂️

😎

[Talldutchie]

Ehh.. wow! I'd NEVER kill anyone, especially not the mom of a kid I love. That's messed up.

[Guy13]

At one time you were dreaming of a death cage match on a post

[Guy13]

Wrestling

[Talldutchie]

I never used the word death, die, kill or anything related to death. But true, I have dreamt of kicking her ass yes. Mostly when I'm pissed with her!

[Guy13]

Okay... I still remember the accompanying picture on that post. I see why you were dreaming about it now...

[Talldutchie]

It was just a normal pic of me and a normal one of her. But yeah.. true

[Guy13]

Alright, enjoy having absolutely no reaction at all to Ex name etc...

[Talldutchie]

What? 😅

[Guy13]

Yiur original question was how to deal with…You can’t be negative about her to kids etc. comment, body language, etc

[Talldutchie]

Yes true

[Summeroflove]

He may have to make contact with her due to the child. But she’s his ex. He isn’t obligated to put up with her shit anymore other then what is legally required.

He also shouldn’t be okay with her speaking like that. They aren’t together anymore. You don’t deserve to be talked to about like that. Damn I see why he isn’t with her anymore if she acts like this.

[EmyyWolf]

Get another man lol. I was dealing with a BBC too, until Cynthia G woke me up from the delusion.

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

https://www.youtube.com/embed/u8WXyHQVBmY

[EmyyWolf]

You and I are the “BECKEISHAS” that Cynthia G mentions in all her videos. 😂😂

[EmyyWolf]

Watch this one specially, it talks about your situation.

https://youtu.be/zRgbXmj4KWs

[Jdjfjcjj]

You can't control what she does behind your back but if someone needs to speak up, it should be your man in my opinion.

[bradley142]

i dont wanna be in that kind of relationship so id have to end it

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who asked you out