If a candidate texted a female recruiter "Dear sir" without knowing that he's texting a girl, is it an offence to the girl? How should she respond?

[Anonymous]

[ohsheeT]

Well you just gave yourself the answer why would it be offensive to you when you know that person does not know who you are and just to speaking to do their job what have you so the respect that you're looking for you have to give back anyway because you just have to be the bigger person because you know who that person is now.


I mean I can feel it in your heart just because the way you ask the question you are respectful kind person with a beautiful heart you don't have to be a follower on what other people might do you need to be a leader and make your own way and say simple mistake and go on from there be the best you can be I mean I can feel that coming from you anyway that's the reason why you asked I think it's a beautiful thing

[In_Trance]

How can this be an offense if he had no prior knowledge?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The sexist biases are rampant regardless of the work. In a lot of cases it’s presumed men are in charge of certain things, especially when men are making the request to a faceless individual. I would just respond to whatever he said normally and sign the letter at the bottom with her obviously feminine name and title such as “Mrs. such and such”

[Asker]

Have you ever seen such kind of situations in your life or in someone that you know?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

My mom is an engineer, most people refer to her as “sir” without knowing her name. She also just introduces herself and gives them a reason to apologize for the confusion. We live in a society where the baseline assumption for any faceless person is male, and she knows that and holds no ill will towards them

[Asker]

Agreeing with your mom's perspective

[Asker]

Is it common in most higher level positions?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I don’t know

[Asker]

Does this happen to your mom on mails, texts or in person?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Dunno

[HelpfulWoman]

don't repeat ask this ffs.
just a polite correction in any correspondence.

[Anonymous]

"Dear sir" went out of style in business in the 1980s.

[RavVid]

Well if the name is a male or female name, she shouldn't take it amiss.

[Asker]

He clearly doesn't know the name of his recruiter.

[RavVid]

That would be odd as usually a name and email is given but the later might genderless surnames such as brown.

If I am asked to reply to recruit@xyx I might address to Dear Recruiter just to have a salutation. I could use Dear Sir/Madam but that is somewhat overly formal now.

If the name is Kerry it could be a female or male Kerry. If it was very formal and a paper letter it would be

Mr or Miss or Ms or Mrs Kerry Packer
Dear Sir (Madam)

I have known a woman to get offended a couple of times but it is fairly unreasonable to in my view.

The only needed response is your signature which will probably have a gendered name. If it is Kerry I would then assume male, if it is Kerri I do know female.