I got ditched for not believing in a god but wanting marriage one day, was that fair?

[Anonymous]

The guy couldn't understand how I can still want marriage but not make a vow to God. Meanwhile I'm so confused about the idea of involving some imaginary being as your witness to a wedding, talking to nothing.

If I would already be making public vows to the man I love in front of friends and family, isn't that enough? He wasn't my boyfriend yet but yeah I thought we were getting along fine as we were talking about our hobbies, goals and values. Oh well. Fair?

Updates

1 y

Besides church isn't the only place to get married.

[Vesuvius87]

That relationship wouldn't have worked out. You have a fundamental difference. When it comes to relationships, you have to find someone that shares similar main goals and values. I'm married but both my husband and I are atheists. You don't need to believe in a god nor go to church in order to get married.

[xkildy]

If a person doesn't believe the same as you, then chances are that the union or marriage or even relationship won't last as long as it needs to or other things could happen. That ruin the dynamics of a simple talk, so if he or she doesn't fit what you believe in a manner that you should Look at it in the long term scope, then it's not going to work out

[Asker]

Yeah we were getting along good until that talk about him thinking that marriage only serves if you include god. I'll search for a like-minded man.

[xkildy]

It's sad to see a relationship, go downhill. But if the parties aren't mutually respective towards each other, then there won't be any common ground to actually build a foundation on

[xkildy]

Four one , he has to respect your wishes. And you have to respect his well, that wont-work if both y'all think of different things of different ways. If he wants to go to church and he wants his wife to go to church because everyone is saying, Hey, where's your wife, that's going to put him in a tight spot, because what? He can't say his wife doesn't believe

[Spencer10]

Sounds like a conflict with core values. Religion can be a big sticking point with many people. This sounds like the case here. Honestly I think this may be a huge hurtle for you to have overcome... it may be for the best.

[Asker]

yeah and from now on I'll search for a like-minded man.

[Spencer10]

Like minded on the main values... but differences are not entirely bad. Opposites in many ways can attract.

[Abbycado]

Because obviously it was a deal breaker for him.

[Asker]

That's the issue with relligion. Meanwhile I wouldn't mind someone's religion as long as they don't shove it down my throat but oh well. I think I'll just seek for a non-religious, marriage-minded man, someone like me.

[Abbycado]

Yeah, probably the best idea so that doesn't happen. Neither me nor my boyfriend are religious so it isn't even a topic. Works well that way. You will be a lot happier.

[Ariesman81]

Yeah... you told him the only thing you value is your security and not vows and commitment. He was right to leave you.

[Asker]

You do know church isn't the only place to get married? I still want to get married one day, raise kids within a marriage and grow old with him. That's commitment. I just don't believe in god nor bibles. Why do I have to include that in my vows? Making vows to an imaginary being instead of the man I love doesn't make sense to me.

[Asker]

I don't need god nor bibles to make a lifetime commitment.

[Ariesman81]

Then you don't need marriage

[Vesuvius87]

Umm, I have to agree with the OP. I really had no idea you need religion in order to get married. As an atheist (my husband is atheist too), my non-religious wedding was just as beautiful and significant as a religious one. Non-believers get married too and one of the main reasons is to form a family.

[Ariesman81]

@Vesuvius87 You don't need religion to get married. You can get married at the courthouse where God isn't present. Both a religious and courthouse wedding are contracts, no argument here. From my point of view, a marriage not based on religion is a marriage simply to the government and therefore a pointless marriage. And a woman who doesn't want God in her marriage is a woman who prioritizes her own selfish interests.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It wasn't meant to be, you'll find someone else

[Asker]

yeah hopefully

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well then negative Nancy, nah say it with me "there's plenty fish in the sea" 😂

[Anonymous]

Yes.