Would it be wrong to pretend to believe in God so I could get a good wife?

[Awesomesauce2005]

All the agnostic women I've met besides the ones I'm related to (except the ones my age of course) are liberal feminists who don't want children and they don't want to be a traditional wife. All the religious Christians I know my age are married and have traditional wives already. Do I pretend and join the cult or do I stay myself and risk being alone for the rest of my life? I have Christian values and morals I just don't believe in the deity. Please help.

Yes

No

Updates

5 mo

At this point in my life I'm older than my parents were when they got married. I may not be on a biological clock like a woman but I am afraid of being the father that is old enough to be a grandfather and I'm unable to do anything with my kids because I'll be too old.

[ohsheeT]

No, because you're lying to her, you're pretending to be somebody that you're not\n And she's gonna hate you for that. That's your first strike, and if you're lying to her about that, you're going to lie to her about everything.

Then straight is that you don't respect or trust her or yourself

No matter what you do in life to truth is always going to come out
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is being yourself.

You have to remember in any relationship, it's not all about you, it's about her too. How long do you think you could carry that lie and her not find out about it?

And sooner or later, you're going to talk about God.\n What is it that you do not believe\n If it's because of the Bible, well, I don't believe in the Bible or I don't believe in half the Bible, but I believe In a God, I believe in this universe, and that's God, I believe in energy, and that's God, but that's my beliefs, I don't need to see him, because I have faith. Even though I do feel him because we are all energy, we are all vibration. We are a trillion particles that are swirling each other to make us look whole. It's the vibration that makes us solid, but we're not. We are a hologram in a roundabout way. We are pure energy on frequency. That is God right there. Frequency, God is everything in this world.\nIs my belief

[MikeMcMansion]

“but I am afraid of being the father that is old enough to be a grandfather and I'm unable to do anything with my kids because I'll be too old.”

I was your age when I got “the text” the text message that changed my life. I jumped at the first thing that bit, I was on some “my chemistry” dating website I had money and I was bored and not taking it the site seriously. And some woman I barely knew from my hometown got my number some how and boom it was over me.

I didn’t want to be an “old dad” well I have kids but never really got to raise them.

Maybe I’ll be a young grandpa and I’ll actually get the raise one of their kids someday since that’s what people seem to do these days, use the grandparents as daycare.

If you stay healthy, you got a lot of time left as a man, bro you’re only 20. Don’t think that way it’ll get you in a situation you shouldn’t get in.

The judge basically gave her access to my soul to extend her life in the event that she becomes ill.

[MikeMcMansion]

Oh, sure. If you lie to yourself long enough, you might start to believe it, and if you find a good woman, maybe you’ll be thankful to God for her and the kids you might have together.

[Crimsyjo]

I said no but my answer is probably more "not really". I mean, if your a good man, good husband and will be a good father than it seems harmless. As long as you never upset her by saying her beliefs are stupid or wrong. You can live a modest traditional moral life without having to talk about God that much. I mean, I like to think maybe one day you could even be honest and not matter. Like a vegetarian going out with a meat eater. As long as neither is judgmental or trying to change the other why can't it be harmonious?

[MontBlanc]

Yes , it would be wrong, and it would likely backfire.

Belief is a core value for many people. Pretending to share it to attract someone builds a relationship on dishonesty. That usually shows up later and damages trust.

If you want a good partner, be real about who you are. The right person is someone who chooses you honestly, not a version you perform.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are asking whether it would be acceptable to begin a relationship on the basis of an intentional lie about a very important matter. You really need to ask?

[Kaneki05]

It would be wrong? Sure but you should do it. It's not as if there is anyway to prove you don't believe in god. And all you have to do is say you do.
Otherwise you are limiting your dating range for no real reason. It's also not even lying if you try to be Christian for her. You wouldn't call someone a liar for just not saying rude things when you wanted too or try to eat healthier for her but really you want pizza.

[Awesomesauce2005]

My thoughts exactly

[Keyboardkat]

But she'll wonder why you never go to church with her. She will ask you to come to church with her. There are only so many excuses you can come up with. You know, if you really love her and you want to keep her, it could be well worth compromising on this.

[exitseven]

My wife is a Catholic and she wanted to be married in the church. I was baptized as a Protestant. It turns out the local priest has a lot of latitude about there things. Some priests will not perform the ceremony.

There was a lot of discussion about what we would do if we could not gat married in the church. The possibility of me converting the Catholicism came up. I said I would not do it because I would be doing it just to circumvent a rule that may or may not be valid. Fortunately the priest said that as long as I was baptized in a Christian church I was good to go.

[Keyboardkat]

It is not fair to mislead a person into marrying you! You would be asking for a quick trip to the divorce court! That is really dishonest. I mean, what if you have kids and she wants to bring them up in her religion and you don't? That can tear a marriage apart real fast.

[BadApple69]

Yes it would be wrong and a girl who believes will realize you are pretending.
You are correct though…. The leftist feminists will not make good wives.
How about this…. How about you start going to church and see what you think. Keep an open mind and maybe God will find you…. Then you don’t have to pretend.

[Keyboardkat]

I don't think most leftist feminists believe in God. They think religion is paternalistic and infantilizes women. So I don't think dating a leftist feminist would be unthinkable from that point of view. The problem is that a lot of leftist feminists hate men for the same reason they hate religion! Why would you want to try to get a relationship with someone who is nasty, abrasive and hates you because you're a guy? And she wouldn't want you anyway, she'd rather sleep with a woman!

[msc545]

Yes, you would be very wrong. God is not going to approve of this, and neither is whoever it is that you think is going to be a good wife. Don't play around with this. It needs to be something that you relate to others honestly and to yourself honestly. In fact, I recommend honesty in all things.

[Screenwriter]

I think a lie will eventually be found out and then your religious spouse would feel betrayed and cheated, which she would be.

You may have to look harder and longer for a mate, but don't lie about who you are.

[queenofcardio]

Your age says 20 ? I think honesty would work best.. You have the values , you just don't believe in God.

I think it's possible for someone to accept that.

[Awesomesauce2005]

Honesty is all I have

[Nikki1989]

I smell smoke. Were you thinking too hard again?

[Awesomesauce2005]

You are part of the problem

[BCRanger10]

Yes. Don't do it. Don't lie to her just to get her to go out with you. Don't even "fake it 'til you make it." That has "terrible idea" written all over it.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

As others pointed out, deceiving someone to get what you want is morally wrong. It's also demonstrating how "Christian values and morals" are subjective lol

[LazerBean]

The fact that you are asking this question shows that you do not, in fact, have Christian values and morals. Yes it would be wrong to deceive a woman to try to get her to marry you.

[NathanDavis]

so not only you're going to lie... but you're also going to lie to the "best" person you can find? lmao...

[fivebyfour]

Yes it would be a sin, but imho you could just be honest and say you admire Christian values, beliefs, and behaviours, who really knows what God actually is anyway?,,,

[Anonymous]

Rather than lie to her why not be honest and try opening your heart to God. Faith is the hardest thing to have. If your heart is open you're halfway there God will do the rest.

[Awesomesauce2005]

Ah so I should join a cult instead of pretending to be in it, 🤯

[Opinion Owner]

No. Just leave her alone.👍

[FunkyMonkee]

It wouldn't do you anymore good than hanging a pair of pantyhose on the mantel for Christmas hoping that Santa will fill them appropriately!!

[genericname85]

Yes cause lying and betrayal is wrong. Unless you're looking for a partner who lies to you and betrays you. Then it's fair.

[Mike_Hum]

Christianity isn't a cult and your trolling is gay.

[Awesomesauce2005]

Just because something is a cult doesn't make it inherently bad, I do agnowledge that Christianity has done some good for society. It is a cult because a cult is a social group with socially deviant or novel beliefs and practices, often characterized by intense, unquestioning devotion to a charismatic leader, object, or ideology. These groups typically employ manipulative, coercive, or thought-reform tactics to control members' behavior, thoughts, and emotions, often leading to isolation from the outside world.

[Mike_Hum]

It is still not a cult no matter how much you try to gaslight people.

[Awesomesauce2005]

How am i gaslighting? I'm speaking facts observable by any non biased open minded individual

[Mike_Hum]

You aren't speaking facts, you're speaking your idiotic opinion.

[Awesomesauce2005]

I'm sorry if it just so happens that definitions match up a little too closely for your liking, like I said before I never said Christianity was bad

[Mike_Hum]

Except they don't.

[Awesomesauce2005]

How so?

[Mike_Hum]

These groups typically employ manipulative, coercive, or thought-reform tactics to control members' behavior, thoughts, and emotions, often leading to isolation from the outside world

Not true of Christianity

A cult is a group with unusual beliefs and rituals, often centered around a charismatic leader, demanding extreme devotion and control over members' lives, and seen as deviant or dangerous by mainstream society, though the term can also loosely mean intense admiration for something. Key aspects include unquestioning obedience to the leader, isolation, and high-pressure tactics,

1) not unusual considering the number of Christians in the world
2) doesn't require extreme devotion
3) not extreme/deviant or dangerous
4) No isolation. Christians revel in fellowship and outreach.

So you failed all around.

[dragoblack]

Yes, not for the reason of sacrilege, but for basing the relationship on a lie and an act

[Staximus]

Don't join the cult dude