How do I tell him I don't want to French kiss yet? (Guys, help please!)

[Anonymous]

When the guy I like kissed me, he French kissed me. I did not like it at all! (That and I've never done it before and feel really weird French kissing him...)I'm afraid if I just let it go on, he'll try to go further, and I'm really not interested in that. I need to tell him flat out that I would just like a little kiss, with no tongue at all. How do I do that without pissing him off or making him feel bad?

[Anonymous]

The first time I was french kissed, I was not expecting it at all. It was like a wet hoover vaccuum, and it was disgusting and gross. It was all tongue and face sucking, and she was REALLY kissing, like it felt like it was almost down the throat. I'm like sputtering and trying to get away. Ha ha. Partly what shocked me was that it was so sudden, and up to that point we had just started sweet little innocent kisses.

The next time, she got the idea, and she went really slow, and I have to say it was amazing! It was sweet, and passionate, and then slowly a little more aggressive, but she let me try too, so I had some "say" in how slow it was. It was like also like a hint of possible things to come. Not tongue down the throat and slurping and vigorous face sucking. And that time, it was awesome.

If you don't like the guy, ok.

Eventually though, he may want to french kiss, and if you really like him, hopefully you might want to as well.

Trust me, if done right, it can be really great.

What he should do, or maybe if you're feeling more forward, you SLOWLY get a little more passionate. You work up to it. I think French kissing is sort of about trying things out, and also trust. Not about lustful aggression. If he's going too fast, or you don't like it, don't rush, and don't let him rush. Breathers (little breaks) are more than fine to take, especially if it's about to get a lot more "PG." You can calm down and think or even just enjoy when you just had really good kiss.

And being cautious is a good thing. And if it doesn't feel right, don't count yourself out. He may not be a good kisser, or you may not be ready. And don't do it out of being pressured. Do it because you want to try, and you trust your boyfriend.

Good luck.

[Asker]

That's great. Thank you so much. But now, I feel afraid to go out with him, for fear of having to do that again. Because I was sooooo not ready... :'( I don't want to avoid him, but.... I don't know what else to do.

[regular-guy]

It's been a while so I hope you have gotten things sorted to your comfort level, but if not then don't be shy about stopping and saying, "No. I really don't want to do that. I am not ready for that kind of kissing." If he likes you he might feel a little embarrassed for being too forward, but it should not damage the friendship or the relationship.

[angelwings]

Well, first, did you not like the kiss because he was a bad kisser or because you've never french kissed and it just felt different?

I didn't know how to french kiss until recently either, so I can relate. I didn't like it at first because it felt so different. I just told my boyfriend that I had no experience with it at all and he sorta eased into it. Now I love it!

I think you are right when you say you should tell him flat out that you don't like it. Just try to keep your tone of voice nice and calm. I would suggest having this conversation face-to-face. Maybe you could kiss him after you say it so that he knows you do like kissing him and doesn't get all weird.

I hope this helps

[angeleyes11]

I agree. its weird and the first time I did it, it was horrible. turns out it was just the guy. :)

but tell him, really guys CAN tell when the girl they are kissing isn't all that into it. I think he would rather be kissing you with you enjoying it too

[troublemaker]

what you should do is just tell him but not flat out and tell him because then you could piss him off but if it does go on then you might just need to tell him out because you don't want to feel uncomfortable with him.