I found my girlfriends bodycount?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this girl for almost 6 months. I am 25 and she is 22. I recently found out she had 17 prior sexual partners before me and it has been eating me alive. I want it to work out because I really fell in love with her. I believe she fell in love with me too.

I just don’t know if I will ever look at her the same way. Our first date was the day before her birthday. So that puts all of those people she’s slept with up until she was 21 I’m having a hard time getting over the fact that she has let 17 people just fuck her and only 3 of those being boyfriends. I know a couple of them were one night stands and I think she had been dating the majority of the rest. I feel like a sucker for committing to her when it seems she was a pretty easy girl in her past.

[DopeTurtle]

I’m gonna level with you and I’m gonna give you my honest opinion.
One, a persons past is a persons past. If you genuinely love someone and they genuinely love you, it’s worth fighting for. We all did something or in the middle of doing something that someone might not like. There is probably things about you she isn’t exactly happy about but she probably puts on a brave face for you.


Second, ( this is gonna piss some people off.) having 17 sexual partners at the age of 22 isn’t normal, anyone who says otherwise is lying. If you said 17 people by the age of the 30, yeah that’s kind of normal. Regardless of gender, that is a lot. From puberty to being able to drink is about 7-8 years, clapping cheeks or getting your cheeks clapped with in that window of 17 times is rare. Usually people achieve those type of numbers going into their late 20s or 30s. My advice to you is to don’t ask about the acts, ask her how she feels about the acts, her perspective on dating and life, etc.


No one is truly perfect, everyone has a past and there is some trade offs and some bonuses with it, the question is can you see the beautiful tapestry in front of you or you going to deny it because of how it’s path to being developed. I wish you the best and I hope you two find a path forward, genuinely hope you do

[Asker]

We’ve discussed the past quite a bit since the topic came up. She has seemed genuinely regretful about it and and says she is ashamed of her previous actions. I’m not saying that I love her past but it helped ease my mind a little. I too have a past I’m not proud of I have been with a few more people than she has and I have had my bouts with addiction since I was about 18. So I understand people change. I think your right about seeing what is in front of me now. I believe everything happens for a reason. I’m going to put in gods hands and continue to see her for who she is in the present. If I’m wrong I’m wrong. But if not I don’t want to let something go that could blossom into something valuable. In addition I know myself. I don’t tend to ruminate on things and I know that if our relationship goes the distance that I’m hoping it will I’ll get over it. No one is perfect and I believe in forgiveness.

[DopeTurtle]

I’m glad you two talked about it and had a great understanding of one another, we all had a past life before the person in front of us.

If she’s someone special to you, figure it out with her and love her fully. You may not experience it right away but over time you will learn to appreciate her even more.

On the plus side, all that experience? You benefit from it, she’s probably going to keep smile on your face on the intimacy level and that’s called a W bro.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I get that finding out about your girlfriend's sexual history is tough, but you gotta try to keep it in perspective. The number of people she's been with in the past doesn't change who she is now or how she feels about you.

It sucks that you're having a hard time getting over it, but try not to judge her too harshly. People make mistakes and experiment when they're younger. The important thing is that she's with you now and you say she loves you.

I know it's easier said than done, but you can't hold her past against her. That's not fair. If you really care about her, you gotta try to move past this and focus on building a future together.

At the end of the day, her "body count" doesn't define her as a person. What matters is how she treats you and your relationship. If she's been faithful and committed to you, that's what you should focus on.

I get it's upsetting, but don't let this ruin something good. Maybe talk to her about it, let her know how you're feeling. But don't accuse her or make her feel ashamed. That's not gonna help anything.

Just try to work through this, bro. If you really love her, it's worth putting in the effort. Don't throw away something special over something that happened before you were even together. You got this.

[IslaTheWitch]

lmao

if it is so important to you, why didn't you ask her earlier?

now you can try to forget it, or break her heart... and face the consequences...

[Anonymous]

Most girls are going to have numbers like that, so don't ask don't tell. It's just fucking, it doesn't mean anything to us once it's done.

[Asker]

I thought she was different

[Cormac995]

5 or more is a red flag bro. The fact most of them we're people she wasn't even dating makes it way worse. I wouldn't be able to trust someone that had sex with people that easily. They don't see sex as an act of love they see it as a fun thing to do like a hobby or a video game. IMHO chances of cheating long term are very high.

A relationship can't survive without trust. I'm sorry I know you like her, but she can't unfuck the 17 guys. More than one sexual partner in your life is normal but 17? No, I'm sorry dude but I don't care if you're a man or a woman. If you've fucked 17 different people and only dated 3 of them, you're a slut. Get some self-control and keep it in your pants.

[Cormac995]

In all honesty I recommend you break up. Sluts man or woman are shit relationship material.

[Asker]

I have a relatively similar number of and I don’t see myself as a slut. But it is different for a man and woman. I really thought she was different. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it

[Cormac995]

IN that case you've lost my sympathy because you're a hypocrite. Just because I'm sick of woman piling double standards on men doesn't mean I'm not going to call it what it is when I see a guy do the same thing. Either stop being a hypocrite or fuck off.

[abc3643]

I understand your conflict and please do not think that I am being dismissive of your concerns and feelings about this issue when you read what I wrote below.

If you are really in love with the girl, then her body count will not matter. That sort of does not make sense but that is because love is, in essence, a directed form of insanity. When you love someone, then you love who they are now and would not change anything.

With that in mind, remember this:

The girl who you allegedly love now is still the same girl she has been both before you found out her body count and after you found out. That's the girl you love, regardless of body count.

[sawno]

Simple question. Ignore your feelings. Do you love who she is as a person. Yes? You got the girl you wanted in the present, fuck her past enjoy what you got. No, this is such a big deal to you that you no longer can say you love her for who she is and are certain that won't change? Leave and be honest why.

[Anonymous]

As someone with a body count of 18 I can tell you this: I don’t remember most of them.
They come to me in flashes where I go “oh yeah there was that girl that one time” but I don’t walk around with 18 women constantly on my mind


I think it’s something for you to deal with


My good friend was engaged to a town doorknob and she broke up with him recently and all I can think to say is: the ego on that slut!


It’s not for everyone.
If you’re bothered by it. It’s not for you


You might be falling for her now but if you ended it then the distance will let you think about things clearly and you won’t regret it


A good indicator is her attitude towards it:
If she’s proud of the number. RUN
If she’s ashamed by it. Consider your options

[Asker]

She isn’t proud of it at all. She has expressed her regret. And I too have a relatively high body count and have done a lot of sexual things with other girls and my ex girlfriend. I’m ashamed to admit I have also been to prostitutes, and Asian massage parlors. I sound like a fuckikg hypocrite. I need to just accept her because she’s a great girl and I want a future with her. Everyone fucks up

[Opinion Owner]

Look: you’re allowed to be a hypocrite about this one.
Just because you’ve been around the block doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be punished.
But if you had no problem going to prostitutes and happy ending massage then yes you should have the stomach to accept that people tend to bump uglies in our day and age.
It’s no big deal

[NathanDavis]

well... if you did care about this things too much, and you still went into a relationship without knowing first about this one thing you care too much

that only means you're an easy one too...

[LiamJHayden]

If you can't deal with it, end it and move on.

[In_Trance]

Not sure what there is to work out... what does that mean?

[Agape93]

My god you're thin skinned. @Ez-Bri-Z_v2

[Asker]

How am I thin skinned? That shut hurt me

[Agape93]

How? That's her past, that's fuck all to do with you.

[Agape93]

You're thin skinned because you're letting someone's past that isn't even your business, dictate your feelings to this damn degree.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I see in another answer that you have the same kind of body count but claim it's different for men and women. It's really not, and for you to think so means you really are thin-skinned.

[Agape93]

Pasty assed little hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Red flags

[Asker]

What is your bodycount