How do you feel about old fashioned dating?

Question

Do you like the idea of bringing/getting flowers, opening car doors/having doors opened for you, paying for dinner/having dinner payed for, not immediately having sex on a first date, or are you a modern person who likes the idea of going half half on dates, or she's/you are opening your own doors, pulling out your own chairs, driving to your own date by yourself, etc?

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

I prefer all the traditional things but I’m not absolutist about it for the most part. For example if we are meeting at the car to get in the car, and I am already standing there and he walks up from the driver side, I am not going to stand at the passenger side waiting for him to come get my door. But if we are walking together I do normally expect him to help me with my door, there are more practical reasons for it than I think some people realize, for example I am more likely to have a purse so his hands are a little more free, and then esp. if it’s a low car and I am in a skirt or dress it is just easier for him to help with the door. Actually he usually also gets my seatbelt and pulls it forward for me to hand to me where I don’t have to stretch for it which I appreciate. Can I reach it, yes of course but it is nice if he pulls it down for me, I am less likely to (for example) untuck my top or anything like that. As for driving me there, when I did most of my dating of guys I wasn’t in a LTR with I was in college and driving was harder for me for various reasons so, mostly he drove but there are also advantages for that if you want to create a situation where you are more likely to visit my room or whatever. As for paying, sorry dudes if you say “I want to take you out for dinner” that means you are buying me dinner. I have never once paid for my meal on a date although again I have not really dated anybody except my LTR partner for years now. JMO!

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Old fashioned dating for the most part. So far with the guy I'm currently dating, he's been paying for the dates and been very old fashioned with how he treats me. No talking about sex or even any subtle hints of wanting to.

Now I don't mind going half or paying completely for the date sometimes, but I'm more of an old fashion gal. Edward Cullen kind of guy.

My last relationship we didn't take things slow once we decided to get together but we were friends for many years before getting together so the bond was strong between us.

But moving forward, any future dates I go on, I want an Edward Cullen.

dragoblack · Accepted Answer

You mean, actually getting to know each other, instead of jumping into relationships from a 1-night-stand? Or do you mean the outdated and unrealistic ideal that the guy has to pay for and plan everything with his "i can barely survive on my own" wage, that many women abuse just to get free stuff with 0 romantic intentions.

Here's a fact the most of society has seemed to forget. The guy paying was a sign of financial stability and a kind gesture, it was never mandatory for the guy to pay for her side of the date.

I'm all for dates going back to being about getting to know each other and having a fun romantic time... but, let's be real, in the current economy, 50/50 makes the most sense and women should always expect to pay for their own meals. Men don't have to option to possibly be taken advantage of, our finances can't accommodate for that.
If a woman orders the most expensive things on the menu, she is more than likely getting stuck with the bill, as he walks out on the date.

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

Flowers is more or less a Hollywood thing. The giving of flowers wasn’t even common in the “old fashioned days”. In fact, sex on the first date was significantly more common than flowers given even back then. Gentrification used to go both ways. Men getting doors, women saying thank you. That is just a singular example. Frankly the only differences between dating back in the 50’s/60’s and now is the speed and rate at which a couple married. Modern dating is more of an ‘experience’ versus dating with intent. Then even if the experience becomes meaningful, one or the other will invent a reason in their head to become single again. Commitment to one person for life scares the piss out of more and more people these days.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"Old fashioned dating" is what I have done my entire life. Not every woman appreciates being treated like a queen but, when you find the right woman, she'll treat you like a king. . . and that's as good as it gets.

DishLady · Answer

Love the concept, but in practice too many people are trying too hard to be “modern” and rush into the sexual aspects of a relationship rather than getting to know one another and date/court each other properly.

VIVANT · Answer

I’m into everyone being kind and considerate both ways and definitely I don’t rush into sex but none of this has anything to do with the era or someone buying stuff for me. I prefer not.

I just prefer decency. 🦋

Screenwriter · Answer

I like a nice mix of old-fashioned and modern mores.

For early dates, pay your own way so "payback" isn't expected. If you've gotten to the exclusive dating with each other, then you negotiate the rules.

I think it's fine for both people to contribute to going out. I pay for the movies, you buy lunch. I open doors for men or keep them open if a man is behind me. I do it for complete strangers, especially if they're struggling with packages, on crutches are disabled in some manner, or just to be pleasant.

I like a chair pulled out for me. It's sweet and gallant and gracious. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we can meet for dates. Sometimes I'll do the pickup, other times he does it.

I grow flowers in my garden. I give them gladly to a man I like. Or give some flowers for a special day... event.

Make it up so it pleases the both of you.

xcheerleader_jessx · Answer

Im 70/30 on this. I really don't care for flowers, chocolates or plushies. I'm a practical girl. I don't mind if he pays but sometimes I want to treat my man so he knows it all doesn't have to fall on him. I don't mind if he opens doors for me but I would trade that for (if we do end up being married) help with changing diapers or holding the baby since I heard men back then wouldn't even hold their babies. I dont mind having the feminine role and him having masculine roles. However, since a marriage is essentially a team, helping each other in our roles would give each other an inside look and teach us yo be more appreciative of each other. When its house cleaning day, he can help. If he wants to chop wood for camping i can help by carrying the logs and stack them. But most importantly I do like how in past generations most families were God centered. I do want that for my family 🙏

beenherebefore · Answer

I never had a guy bringing me flowers on the first date and I would feel something between embarrassment and flattery. I'd skip the flowers on the first date that's a bit too much for me. If he was the one inviting me I would appreciate if he paid for it. I do appreciate chivalry not only on the first date but throughout the relationship like as you mentioned opening and holding doors. I'd prefer to meet at the restaurant on the first date rather than have him pick me up mainly for safety reasons I don't want someone I don't know yet to know where I live. No kissing, no touching, no sex on the first date and I would not appreciate if the conversation goes in that direction.

Shiprex · Answer

I find this kind of thing rather icky and sad that it's wholly on men to follow toxic masculinity role that has been burned down elsewhere but hasn't evolved into something closer to equity for men in any form.

MAKE the first move, GIVE your time PAY for hers, DO the planning, MAKE the effort, CHASE the "prize", PROVIDE the entertainment,

only to GET fucked.

I think modern methods where women go out of their way to ASK, OFFER, INVITE, COOK, BRING, TREAT, and even drive men out to allow men a chance to perhaps be seen as valued for themselves instead of the ones delivering it to women.

PrincessC16 · Answer

Absolutely! God how I would love to go back and actually be dated like that. That was when most men actually showed respect for women. And, most women showed respect for men. It just seems like it was so much easier back then. Your parents were involved, as they met the guy as he came to the door. I don't know maybe it's just me and my fantasy world.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

I've ALWAYS been old fashioned; chivarly, tweed suits, femininity and flowing dresses, traditional roles, traditional education etc. I push it a bit further though... I also add in asking the father for her hand as well. I know such behaviour isn't really done anymore but I'm only attracted to women who appreciate it.

NotLongKindaGirthy · Answer

So... I couldn't help but notice that your idea of old-fashioned dating was all about things the man is supposed to do for the woman. Is your idea of old-fashioned dating that the man is supposed to give give give, and the woman is supposed to take take take? Or do women also have obligations under old-fashioned dating?

wynning · Answer

Old fashioned to me sounds like the guy has to put in more work to impress and the girl has to put on a show of "playing hard to get". I'd rather reciprocate the kindness without the extra effort for anyone!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Not interested.
I prefer the route of just starting out as friends, then best friends, then just being a couple by introducing physical affection to the friendship, then marriage, then sex.

Going on dates is for people who rush into relationships with strangers they have nothing in common with. Those types of people break up very often.

glennos89 · Answer

Old fashioned dating can only happen when a woman is also old fashioned. We live in times where a lot of woman want to be threated in a traditional way while they themselves lack any form of being old fashioned. This is why most guys these days turn away from chivalry.

A lot of those woman tend to have a dubble standard in their own favor which is a very selfish attitude and very unattractive

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I enjoy it if/when it's actually appreciated.

There are so many women out there who just can't be bothered to give the slightest f in dating. No effort. No staying power. No appreciation, empathy, grace or understanding.

For the amount women complain about men not doing the bare minimum; the lack of effort from women would be a true shock to a lot of women.

Unknown_Stranger_0 · Answer

I’m not entirely sure I kinda appreciate being in our time like I know dating is hard and expectations are higher and a little different but I don’t see nothing wrong with being equal but I feel like 50-50 should happen more down the line then from jump

Hulk30 · Answer

i hate it old fashioned Datin to me is relationship type treatment why spend any money if your not actually inclusive if the end Game is to actually see where it goes then why not just court and date out later if then end Game is sex then why not just go on free Date's

molonski2 · Answer

I wouldn't call it " old fashioned " I believe that that's how it should be , it's all part of the experience.

lyrem04 · Answer

I love love love it! It feels more healthy and genuine

Purpleronnie · Answer

Well if that’s old fashioned dating then I guess I have ALWAYS been that.   Most of the hat you mentioned in your description is just what I feel it is and should be as a dating “MAN”

slatyb · Answer

I always open doors and mostly pay for dates. I never expect sex on the first date. I was surprised to learn that most women wanted sex on the third date.

RavVid · Answer

I'd prefer old fashioned and do it. It is more of a whole of life attitude and not just in dating but if you pull a chair out some girls go sit in a different chair. Sheesh.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yeah I have always liked that way better I don't get modern dating at all.

Sunrising · Answer

I love the old fashioned dating, but I've never found a female that did all that for me! 🙂

lightbulb27 · Answer

it's fun, I like it. break out the ice cream soda.

Anonymous · Answer

I wish that's how it still was. I was born in the wrong era.

Fireguy17 · Answer

That is how I was raised, and I still do those things for my wife.

exitseven · Answer

I would rather have an old fashioned courtship as long as it ends up in the sack eventually.

oldpigg · Answer

No, I'm not going to give my money to women or pay for their meals.

YourExLover69 · Answer

I prefer traditional girls and traditional roles.

QuestionObsession · Answer

Sense of entitlement in women is off putting. Just let the man be a gentleman without expecting anything.

ohsheeT · Answer

I will always be that person

Jay-_- · Answer

I wish "old fashioned" dating wasn't old fashioned dating. This is how it should be.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

im more modern, i dont like when people pay for me.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Im all for it, I lived it? Nothing wrong with sharing the burden either.

MasterKS · Answer

Its outdated and boring... finish those cliche days.

Kelly3_ · Answer

Ok, as long it doesn't have problems with me dating other women.

alice55 · Answer

I think it's the best

Anonymous · Answer

I don't like patriarchal stereotypes.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you get what you give.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Sure! It seems fun!

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Hmmmmmmmm...

How do you feel about old fashioned dating?

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