When a man invites a woman to a weekend in Hawaii, and she insists on separate rooms should they split the expenses or should she pay for room?

[Kelley1]

One day after New Year in Hawaii.

Did he know before they flew to Hawaii, that she was going to insist on separate rooms? If so, shouldn't he pay?

If he didn't know until they checked into the hotel that she was going to insist on separate rooms, would he be an a$$, if he paid for the one night. left early the next more and asked for a refund on her her return ticket?

Updates

1 y

Correction, "... left early the next MORNING and asked for a refund on her return ticket?"

[Finchie40]

She should have stated she wanted a separate room or she isn’t going , and not expect him to be a mind reader. He then should of said his intentions was for them to share a room together , but if not then forget about it and go by himself or invite someone else or not go at all , it’s wrong of her to expect him to pay for another room for her

[Kelley1]

That is the perfect response.

[Finchie40]

Communication is key😊

[SixFootSexy]

Traded virginity for a free weekend trip to Hawaii?

[Kelley1]

Not exactly, but close enough.

[SixFootSexy]

Was it worth it?

[Kelley1]

Yes.

[ohsheeT]

Did this really happen

If so this is just so sad Excuse for a man.

When he asked the girl if she wanted to go with him. And she said yes.. the first thing she should have said if they were not romantically doing anything is are there going to be 2 beds in the room or. Yes and I can rent my own room

And the guy should had said do you want to share a room or? He just can As soon this girl is going to want to do anything with them if they don't even know each other. I have been together before...

But to get up early go to the air port Cancel her return flight Is chicken shit



I mean it shouldn't matter if the guy

[Kelley1]

Just a question. That part didn't happen. We flew first class, and I knew what was expected, I had fun.

[ohsheeT]

I'm happy to hear that because all I was thinking is that men have Stooped to a new low

[Kelley1]

It lasted 3 months, then he dumped for the next pretty thing.

[ohsheeT]

Lmao. See what I mean. I should have just left it where I was. I really don't have any faith in man anymore. But it's fine by me that way. I stay out of their way and only worry about me. I really have never understood, guys. Well, wait, I have always understood guys, and most of them I don't like

[ohsheeT]

Do you run that John deer tractor

[OneViewpoint]

If we're going to Hawaii as buddies, then she pays for her air travel, her room, her meals, her drinks, and her activities. Or we just skip the trip to Hawaii altogether. But I wouldn't be inviting anyone to Hawaii or anywhere else if we weren't already in a relationship. Go get coffee and take a walk instead.

I would hope any woman who pulled that stunt would be OK with paying her own way. Or, simply say I'm not comfortable with long distance travel and overnight stays at this point, let's save that idea for another time.

[hahahmm]

The lesson is not to go on vacations with guys you barely know. And he was foolish to pay for a trip with someone he barely knows. Also I don't think he should have cancelled her ticket BUT technically he has the right to do that. Both people made bad decisions to get into this situation.

[Kelley1]

He had expectations that she wouldn't agree to. However, even if not stated, most women know what is expected when they accept such an expensive trip with a man.

[hahahmm]

Yes, he had expectations but he never bothered to explicitly talk about it or to flirt to that explicit degree. That's on him. He could have offered a nun a ticket there without talking or showing what he wanted and the result would have been the same. Is that her fault? No. A man should be smart enough to know 100% for sure what he is getting before putting that much money and time into a woman.

Although I was never into investing in women I didn't know so I never ran into this situation.

[hahahmm]

Now, I would have a different opinion if they did heavy flirting/touching/kissing before the trip and then she suddenly became a nun. Still... he would be stupid. Just a little less stupid.

[Kelley1]

@hahahmm Either way, your last two posts are logical and make very good points. As shown in the photo, this girl had fun in Hawaii.

[Surely]

If they were in a relationship prior to going to Hawaii. He should have had a good idea if they were sleeping together or not. If out of the blue she wants separate rooms. Things aren’t as good as expected. If he invited her as a friend and no prior relationship. Then he might as well Chaulk it up to experience and be more careful the next time

[Kelley1]

True! Sometimes guys believe we owe them for as little as a dinner. However, we know what is expected if he buys airplane tickets and pays for a hotel and a weekend in Hawaii. I knew.

[Shiprex]

Isn't her paying her own room splitting the expenses? Or do you mean the flight as well?
If it's the room she should pay herself and the invitation for something as luxurious as this is probably more than a little disappointing that he felt they were at a stage in the relationship where intimacy was either present or at least probable. BUT it's not a given and he'd probably be pissed and quit it after this disappointment and expense he's gone to even though he's not entitled to anything, she should have respectfully declined the invitation as that's quite a GD move to accept the golden goose without feeding it.

[Professor-college]

Well I believe it depends if they're just getting to know each other but it does the case and why would she accept taking such a long trip with a stranger?
.. and they are going out for a while and she doesn't want to be with him in the same bed then what are they doing together?

[Kelley1]

A man is not going to rape her but she burned her bridges if she accepts a trip to Paris and refuses to sleep with the guy, assuming their ages and look are similar.

[Professor-college]

I agree with you

[IslaTheWitch]

they should talk about it...

if they are NOT in the relationship it's obvious they should have separate rooms... or he should ask what she prefers...

if they are in the relationship... the problem doesn't exist...

[Kelley1]

Women know when they accept such an expensive date that sex is part of the deal.

[IslaTheWitch]

those who don't respect themselves - for sure... the majority would ask about details and setup boundaries

[Iron_Man]

My view is he can pay for everything else but if she insists on separate hotel rooms, then she can pay for the extra hotel room by herself then on her own because the rooms are expensive and there’s nothing wrong with sharing the same hotel room with the opposite sex, even as a friend you just have to be respectful the whole trip is expensive enough don’t put him out even more

[slatyb]

She should have told him before accepting the date. What did she expect?

[Kelley1]

Entitlement

[ProbablyClueless]

I would say that she needs to be paying for her half of expenses, if they aren't even staying in the same room together.

That kind of thing needs to be entirely discussed beforehand. This whole "reading the room" and inferring stuff just isn't necessary in a situation like that. Voicing those expectations and putting them in some kind of written understanding is just common sense.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

What was the question again? Sorry I got distracted by the lovely radiant woman in the photo, she’s as fine as wine & if Covid doesn’t take her out I wish I could.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Nowadays a lot of women are choosing fries before guys or they are choosing the bear in the woods. In addition guys are asking out women & women are going out with guys for foodie calls & nothing else. To answer your question When a man invites a woman to a weekend in Hawaii, and she insists on separate rooms I think she should pay for the separate room.

[DrPepper12]

This should have all been discussed before otherwise it's all on the invitor

[Kelley1]

If it is a dinner date or football game date, nothing is implies. If he spends hundreds to fly you to Hawaii, a girl knows what is expected.

[soe11]

• If he invites you then he should pay.
• He comes with your invitation then you have to pay.
• I suggest stay in one room.

[loverguy123123123]

It’s a conversation they both should have now nobody’s entitled to go on a trip on someone else’s dime so he can just refuse to pay for her to go.

[Lynx122]

if you want a transactional relationship, you should settle the details before you go, like a business contract.

[Kelley1]

Society doesn't operate that way. You are like the people who [with justification or so it may seem] say a man should get permission in writing before having consensual sex with a woman.

[msc545]

I don't think you should go somewhere before settling the issue off who will pay and who will sleep where FIRST.

[nawtee_me]

He should ask another girl to go with him….

[Willowwww]

Is photo real?

[Kelley1]

@willowwww Yes, it is. I was 18. Old enough to know and fulfill my part of the unstated agreement. We didn't fly first class and stay in a 5-star hotel for me to be difficult.

[In_Trance]

What's the point in even doing this?

[Kelley1]

If you don't know, I can't help you.

[In_Trance]

I don't think you can help yourself

[Kelley1]

Very good!

[eagle1951]

if he invites her he pays

[Kelley1]

@eagle1951 When he pays for such an expensive trip, she knows what is expected of her.

[eagle1951]

not if he's a true Gentlemen

[Kelley1]

@eagle1951 A true gentleman = simp.