Why would a cheater reject the offer to let them cheat?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend got caught cheating. At first I was hurt, but then I realize that he might not just be monogamous. Honestly, I can live with that, as long as he comes home and be the provider that he is. It’s not my ideal situation though but life is not perfect.

However, when I flat out told him that he can go see whoever he likes, as long as he gives me a heads up - I don’t care. I’ll still stay loyal but he’s free to do whatever. All I care is that he comes home and do his job as the provider in the house. I’ll still love him like usual, so it’a a win-win for him.

He immediately said he doesn’t want it. I kept reiterating to him that I really am cool with it, I don’t care anymore. But now he keeps asking for my reassurance on how much I love him. This is so confusing, I’m giving him what he wanted so why backtrack all of a sudden…?

[Anonymous]

He got caught lying to you, and since he isn't being punished now for it, he probably think that it will come in the form of you cheating on him in the future. And if you did, he probably knows he would deserve it.

[Asker]

I mean I told him I’d still be loyal, I just stopped caring about what he wants to do. It used to cause me so much stress and anxiety, and my biggest fear end up happening anyway. So I’m just going to give him the key and stop worrying. He did say that he’ll forgive me if I cheat back, but I’m not motivated to cheat. I just don’t really care anymore

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just a random internet guy, but i know that the only one who can enforce your boundaries is you. If you don't care about your boundaries, then no one else will. I'm just worried this will lead to suffering

[Asker]

Thank you for your input and concerns, I will definitely take that into mind honestly. Might have some rethinking to do

[Anonymous]

He likes the sneaking around part the excitement of trying not to get caught and most men want a woman to care they are cheating

[Asker]

Oh true. So it’s less excitement now that he can do it openly.

[Opinion Owner]

Correct those kinds of people never change so I'm happy you could handle that you are a much stronger woman then I am I would have taken everything

[Asker]

Well I’m dependent on him financially. I guess it’s just all about survival now. I still wish it wouldn’t have come to this but I can’t get always get everything that I wanted in life right lol

[jahaims]

You have zero self respect

[Asker]

Probably. I’m financially dependent on him so it’s kinda tough