What are some dating red flags you wish you hadn’t ignored?

[DreamCrescent]

Where do i even begin?
I downplayed, I turned a blind eye, and I pushed past. I don’t recommend it
My relationship history is one person long lol but I’m traumatized for life

[genericname85]

the only "red flag" i ever chose to ignore was dating a girl who had just a side profile headshot as the only picture on a dating site. cause as most guys know: you're gonna date a fatty. girls who aren't fat show it off. it's only the fatties who hide their bodies. i was still hoping i was wrong with that assumption but i guess i had that red flag for good reason xD

by the way no hate or body shaming gainst fat people. it's just not my personal preference. and to me it's just a red flag, cause it's a very bad predicture for long term health. and i want "till death does you apart" to be a long time, not a short time.

[DreamCrescent]

fair enough

thank you for sharing

[worldscolide]

I ignored her constant spying on me. I ignored her stopping all interaction with the opposite sex, including my mom, my aunt, and my cousins.. I ignored her hitting me.. And then I had enough and kicked her out.

[DreamCrescent]

welp

those are huge. hey, it happens to the best of us

[Zack-Bann]

The constant need for feeling safe and not “overwhelmed” by the slightest inconvenience in life


I found it charming and endearing when I was courting her but when we started dating it turned into a chore


Having to constantly walk on eggshells in order not to bruise her sheltered ego was painful


Sex was the only time she got off on absolute destruction and downright degradation.


But I learned that I like my woman slightly more capable and with a somewhat thicker skin
Life is too much of a b! tch to spend it tip toeing around the small things

[DreamCrescent]

i get it. i think a lot of men fall for that helpless perpetually in distress type woman.
it takes a little experience, i suppose, to realize the value of self-reliant capable strong woman 😐

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Honestly? I don't think I could have done better, my belief is that I did precisely and exactly what I could, based on information I had. And if I didn't make mistakes, many mistakes, then I couldn't enjoy what I have now.

But it's easy to say, from a perspective where I'm feeling cool with anything dating. From a viewpoint where I haven't been traumatised. I had difficult chapters to handle, but they are behind me now, what's left is the good stuff :)

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Your question makes me want to remix it, thanks 👍🏼

[DreamCrescent]

not having regrets is healthy. thank you for your reply

although i must say, revisiting lessons leaned is healthy, too

[McLlovin]

Ask the controversial question they all hate. What do you bring to the table? And they answer: “i am the table” what that actually means is she is selfish. If you are asked this question and it difficult then you have issues.

It’s not hard its easy. The only people that find it to be a difficult question are selfish people who only think what they can get out of the relationship not what they can give. if we both are selfish people then the relationship will end bad or if married unfortunately will end up in divorce if you dont get help

[DreamCrescent]

first i’ve heard of this as a controversial question. but it does sound a bit icky

i understand your point, not having a response. but really, though.

do men get asked this question? why is it appropriate?

[ArrowheadSW]

A lot of times there are red flags that you think you can deal with, but you later on find out that you can't overlook it. The most obvious was a lady who I was dating in my late twenties who had red flags of verbal abuse into the first week of dating. It was NOT just a one time thing and it was a constant pattern. As soon as I caught on to that I got out of the relationship. Good thing I didn't spend any more time on THAT.

[DreamCrescent]

A LOT of times one thinks they can overlook red flags and learns the hard way that they only have a limited capacity.

FACTS

[ArrowheadSW]

@DreamCrescent And there are "Yellow Flags"... Things you notice to be on the watch for. Maybe it can be overlooked, or maybe not. The lady who I was dating late last year gave a few signals that she can be a bit mean sometimes. OK a lot of people can be at times. Anyway I was talking to her about her stress at work and I was totally onboard and spot on with my understanding of her situation. And then she seemed mad at me for understanding. Would she rather have a dumb guy who wouldn't get it with her job issues? I don't get it. If she doesn't appreciate my understanding, move on.

[DreamCrescent]

🤨🤨

[MrChinaski]

I had a beautiful, elegant dinner out for our first Valentines Day filled with good food and great conversation. We get back to her apartment and she calls her mother to have an argument with her about something... I have no recollection what it was about. Suffice to say we never celebrated Valentines Day again. It was also a red flag for how bad our sexual relations were going to end up.

I left her four months later and moved 1400km away. She chased me.

All very odd.

[DreamCrescent]

yikes

[shortster]

That she never let me pick her up or drop her off at her place; despite being spending time at mine. Like I mean, at first it made sense, we didn't know each other that well. But this continued for a good while; until I picked her up one day and found out why. She was living with her ex-fiance and the only reason that they didn't get married was because his divorce didn't go through.

[DreamCrescent]

😳😳
how incredibly weird

[Katebfun]

If you express tour feelings and they get mad, leave. They can never acknowledge your feelings nor be an emotional support.

My advice date someone who likes your better.

[robocop666]

My granny ignored a red flag with my grandad. She regretted it for life when he showed his true colours.

He got angry for no reason and abusive at a sex worker. This worker was unaware he was on a date with his fiancee. She wondered where all this rage came from.

She said for life that if this was today she would have dumped a man for this aggression.

old granny quote "the day the ring was on my finger he showed his true colours."

[DreamCrescent]

oh your poor grandma

it’s not uncommon to see a man’s other side after he’s gotten what he wants. your grandmother is not alone

[robocop666]

he was an abusive conman and never paid any child support and was having affairs with other women all the time. he was the nicest man on earth till the marriage. That moment of abuse with the hooker was the red flag.

[ArrowheadSW]

@robocop666 What were the circumstances where your grandad got abusive with a sex worker while he was on a date with his fiancee? It is hard to imagine a sex worker being on the scene where your grandad was on a date.

[robocop666]

@ArrowheadSW she did not see his fiancee maybe they were with other people I dunno. She apparently shouted at this woman when she was only being nice. My granny wondered where all this rage came from? then after the marriage this was him all the time. She regretted this moment for life. This was the red flag she ignored.

[Paige90]

Guys that try to act important and they aren't

[DreamCrescent]

yes indeed i’ve noticed

[exitseven]

I dated somebody who I knew was selfish. She may have been the most self centered person I ever met.
I dated somebody else whose whole life revolved around drinking and partying. I think she was a functioning alcoholic

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Our modern culture of trying to identify red flags because you don't trust your own judgement is just more evidence of the absolute societal decline we're going through.

[fonduegirl]

He used to brush off my feelings as inconvenience

[Shiprex]

My self reliance and inability to ask for something, anything from others.

[RHK36]

Not the end of the world. Let it go and move forward.

[WildeWolf]

I ignored clarity, without it we were both constantly walking on eggshells. Which ultimatly was one of the big breakup cause of our 7 year relationship.

[blackeagle007]

Someone that only needed help. I ain’t the one for that!

[msc545]

Complaining.

[DreamCrescent]

serious red flag if there ever was one

[qwerty2469]

Chicks with a dick.

[DreamCrescent]

jeez louise