Why do men expect a woman to put out because they took them on a date?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

As a guy, it never once crosses my mind to annoy a young woman to have sex on a first date; that's dumb. But let's be honest here, if the guy resembles a huge celeb crush she has, she will have sex with him. I don't even hug girls on first dates. I meet up, I say thanks for meeting up, how was your day, or how was your day at work? I'll make small talk while walking with her, like How's her family? And, anything new? I'll go to the restaurant or coffee shop we both agreed to. I'll keep the convo going, but at some point I can be Mr. Gentleman, Mr. Chivalrous. You know when cops tell people, driving is a privilege not a right. Well ladies, and girls, I apply the same sentiment when going on a date, nothing is owed to you but there are guys who genuinely want to try to be nice and do something. Here's the thing, I would say between 80 to 90% of the the time a female is not going to want a second date with him. She will end things by saying, I had a nice night you seem great but...

Guys should go with extremely low expectations for females. Personally, I think if a guy and girl met online let's say through a dating app. Instead of meeting up and wasting each other's time or wasting his money just face time on your laptop or computer. That way you can have a face to face convo as if you met him in person. He doesn't have to waste his money on you and you don't have to be fearful if he's going to lounge at you and kiss. When people meet online make it clear, hey we'll do one phone call via Zoom or FaceTime and if one or both aren't feeling it, go separate ways and delete their number. Women or girls may read this and say, that's not a proper connection! Listen, if I go to the graveyard and pray for past dead relatives and family, I still talk to them like they are there because I feel a connection despite being in a graveyard alone.

I'm just saying this because I don't feel like women are worth the time or money to spend on because like I said she'll likely reject me and say, you seem like a great guy, but... I don't drink, I don't adore and idolize musicians and celebs, I don't care about having a dog in the house, I don't do drugs, I don't party, I don't like tattoos, I don't like women showing off on social media or having stupid influential female friends. Right there, I am eliminating a lot of females from the equation because they will be into that. Every girl or woman has a check box and if you don't check all her boxes she'll reject you and now I apply the same method and standard for women.

To the poster, you might think I am being controlling but it's not. As a Muslim, God states women shouldn't dress proactive in public, Islam states don't have bad friends in life, Islam considers drinking/partying/tattoos/doing drugs as all sinful acts. I don't want the potential mother of my children being a tattooed drug head. So I have religious standards where in Western countries a lot of people call themselves Bible followers and lovers of Jesus. Jesus would be disgusted with many things men and women do in society today and he's a prophet of God. I don't care about the perception of women and I am not perfect by any means, however if girls or women break God's commands, she sure as heck isn't going to listen to me so why bother? To end my final statement - No, as a guy, I am not seeking sex on the first date. I'd rather have sex knowing she's the mother of my children and my wife.

[Asker]

Hello thank you for you insight on this and may I say this is by far the most well explained and well written one I’ve read. Now obviously all girls are different, I’d like to point out the portion in the middle that you talked about women aren’t worth the time and money. In the details I left below the question, I stated that I’m the one who has paid for the dates, so realistically no man is “wasting money” on me, because I’m doing the wasting. I’m all up for a second date, but what draws the line is the guys asking if he can get some as we walk back to the car, that’s what doesn’t lead to a secondary date with me. Now for me there are only 2/3 boxes that have to be checked if I’m going to consider going on a secondary date and they are very basic. 1. Be kind, I don’t want a man who is going to be rude to the waiter/waitress or can't even hold the door open for me 2. Can hold a conversation, that’s self explanatory. And I know some people are shy which is why I like to ask questions to get to know them, that’ll get them to talk a bit more. 3. Leave sex off the table if we are just getting to know each other, this is also very obvious because if I wanted to have sex with the guy we wouldn’t be going on a date we’d already be in his bed.
Now I do agree on you saying the women showing off on social media, I don’t like it. I don’t like to scroll through my insta and see girls in there bikini’s obviously doing it for likes or dressing half naked same thing for men taking shirtless pictures and making sure you can see there dick through there shorts.
I personally don’t have a celebrity crush so there’s no type I can go off of because I’m very open to any race and any shape, but it seems like it’s getting harder to actually find someone who wants a relationship. I’ve never been approached by a man, asked for my number/asked on a date neither have I even been complimented by a man.

[Opinion Owner]

I just want to ask are you single?

[Asker]

Yes I am

[Opinion Owner]

I forgot to hold the door open for a girl once and then I thought in my mind oh shit 🤦🏻‍♂️ it was accidental. But I paid for dinner. We met up for like 2 hrs I think. I thought the date went well. But she told me she wasn’t feeling it but it’s for the best our personalities would have clashed, I felt she was too aggressive the way she talked to me which thinking about it now turned me off but I was trying to make it work between her and I.

I’m surprised a guy has never approached you or complimented by a man in person but I guess guys and men are scared to do that with women these days or he might be emotionally drained from past experiences to not want to bother. I think many people around the world are having dating troubles. But with me I’m not dating someone 3-4 months just to break up. I want to get married to her.

[Asker]

Yeah makes sense, but even still I’m starting to think dating a marriage aren’t for meant for me and it’s not in my timeline of my life. It just hits harder when older women that are customer’s at job come to my register making small talk and say “your so pretty, I bet you have lots of guys asking for your number” and then I kinda just sit there and have nothing to say cause I can’t say yes because it’s not true and if I say no, no one does then it makes the conversation awkward. So it just starts making feel embarrassed that yeah no guy has asked me for my number or has even come up to me

[Opinion Owner]

I may have missed something, but you're 23? Have you ever been in a relationship?

[Asker]

Yes I’m 23, Just one relationship

[Asker]

The relationship I was in I went up to the guy, turned out that he was racist against blacks which is why I ended it, I’m half black myself my dad being fully black

[Opinion Owner]

Why would he be racist towards Blacks? He couldn't tell you're mixed. I would think someone could tell the other is mixed.

[Asker]

Many tend to think I’m Mexican not black. He one day went on a rant about how hard R’s are stupid and deserve to be hung. Which was the same day he after he met my dad and said that if he had the chance to he’d shoot my dad.
Which obviously being there the entire time they met I tried to figure out what triggered it and when I asked him he told me “asking what I see myself doing in Qp years is fucking stupid when he could go back to picking cotton by tomorrow”

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, that comment about shooting your father is just messed up, severely demented. From my experience, though, people who tend to be racist will be racist with others. I mentioned I'm Muslim. I've talked to girls in the past who insulted my intelligence on religion. I was in a talking phase with a few White girls. Which reminds me, many years ago, I was talking to an Italian girl I met online. I was young, in my early teens, so this was about 20 years ago or so, after 9/11 in the 2000s. Muslims, Sikhs, and anyone with a medium skin tone complexion and beard would automatically be linked to being a Muslim. Well, how were Muslims perceived then? They are terrorists. I wanted to meet girls online as a young teen, and being the stupid, immature young guy I was, I lacked confidence and part of me was ashamed to admit I was Muslim. So I posed as a White guy online. I speak English well since I was born in North America, but one day, this girl, Nicole, openly said she hates Muslims and wants them to be killed. Eventually, we ended things. It was one of those brief online meet-ups from our teenage years. I'm only bringing that story up because no one can be with someone who's racist. But I think if someone is racist towards Muslims, they will be towards Hispanics, Blacks, Asians, Sikhs, Hindus, etc. Some people have that White inferiority complex of being better than everyone else, not White. As a Muslim guy, though I don't get hate in person, getting hate online is expected.

[Asker]

Yeah so after that I’m just here

[Opinion Owner]

Do you like dating apps?

[Asker]

I’ve tried out dating apps and the guys I’ve matched with just ask me for hooks ups, which isn’t what I’m looking for. So I’ve deleted my accounts

[Opinion Owner]

I was going to DM you on here because I don't want to make a long list of replies on here, so I'll follow you on here. I was going to ask you a few other things.

[Asker]

Sounds good

[Purpleronnie]

I don’t know why people insist on making massive generalizations about a gender , your never going to get the responses you need or want.


For the love of jeebus and the wee donkey STOP DOING THIS ... Don’t start a question with “Why Do Men , or Why Do Women when all you mean is that few or one person you are referring to. This doesn’t make you look good and you’re likely to get people being “offended” by your massive generalizations and sweeping statements that are just plain WRONG !!!


I have never expected anything from a date other than a pleasant experience and to know more about the woman afterwards than I did before.


The supposed ‘men’ you have gone on dates with acting like immature sex obsessed cretins , that’s on that person , just them … not the entire gender.


More fool you for not seeing them for what they are before agreeing to go on a date.


Learn from your mistakes and hopefully they will eventually learn from theirs !!

[DishLady]

That’s not how that works, no matter what the guy’s expectation, esp on a first date.


If you’ve been going out for a while and spoiling you infinitely … and you haven’t set any boundaries … then you need to have a talk with him about your values.


He may stop paying for dinner and take his cues from you after that.

[LazerBean]

I do not believe that is true for the majority of men.

[Asker]

From your profile it looks like you’re in a relationship? I didn’t say the majority of men as in men as a whole. That’s why I stated the majority of men that I HAVE went on a date with. You don’t know exactly how my life or dating life is so

[LazerBean]

I dont see any part of your question that says anything about your personal experience.

[Asker]

Yeah for some reason it doesn’t show for me what I put in the details. But I have asked guys out myself and approached them I have even paid for the dates. That’s what I said in the details if you read what I said. So if you read the details you’d get exactly what my last comment was referring to

[LazerBean]

The reason you are not shown anything in the details is that there is nothing in the details. There is only the title question, no details.

[Asker]

That’s odd because others commented based off of the details, not sure why it doesn’t show since I did write details. But oh well.

[ohsheeT]

Okay. Well, let me remind you. One thing you are, the boss. You will always be the boss and if he gets acting like a little boy and throws a temper fit. Tell him to take you home and grow the f*** up.


And you need to remind him. It's gonna take more than one dinner and a lot. More other things before before that even gets put on the table.

Remind him who you are and remind him. He should respect because all he's doing is showing you who he truly is and it's not a good look

[OlderAndWiser]

If you think all men are that shallow, you need to change something about the way you meet guys. Obviously, you are attracting and choosing the wrong guys. Why?

[Asker]

Hi, I don’t think all men are shallow. I’m talking strictly about my experience with the men I’ve went on dates with. Unfortunately it took me to finally come to terms with this but I don’t attract guys, they don’t come to me, they don’t ask me out on dates and they surely don’t compliment me. Now the guys that I do see and I find myself interested in it’s usually ones that I see at my local coffee shop, so how exactly am I picking them? Not based off there looks, I’m not a looks kinda girl. It’s because I see them at the coffee shop and they’ll be reading a book I’m into and obviously seeing them once a week a different book in hand as someone also very interested in books, I tend to find him interesting enough to get to know.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you have a similar experience repeatedly with several different people, the one common denominator is you.

[Asker]

Maybe it is me. Damn I guess I am bad. Or maybe I’m just enough to attract a good guy, eh I’ll come to terms with that in a couple of days. That being said I should probably just stay out of the dating game.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you are inadvertently sending signals that make a guy think you are looking for a roll in the hay.

[Asker]

I’m not sure what a roll in the hay means

[OlderAndWiser]

It's a euphemism for a casual sexual encounter.

[Asker]

Oh, when a guy I’m on a date with asks what I’m looking for a tell them that I’m not looking for a sexual relationship.

[OneViewpoint]

I don't expect anything from a woman who goes on a date with me other than good manners, coherent conversation, and a thank you at the end of the night. Do I hope we connect and eventually end up getting physical? Probably. I'm attracted to you or I wouldn't have asked you out. Do I expect it? No. If we both feel it, great. If one or both of us isn't feeling it, that's cool. That's what a date is for. I don't want to get physical with any woman who isn't into me or feels obligated to do anything other than behave like an adult. At the point I became aware you are "faking it", I would lose all interest. Just be up front about it with some minimum of tact and I'll respect you for it. No harm, no foul.

[Asker]

Makes sense. But I’ve also never been asked out. I have to do the asking

[OneViewpoint]

23 and NEVER been asked out? Well, there's nothing wrong with a woman starting a conversation and/or saying... " Hey, you wanna try that new Thai restaurant with me next week?" Or, "I'm going to see a band with some friends Thursday night, you should join us." Sometimes ya just gotta take control of a situation.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Why do women expect men to take them on a date?

This is why I tell the bros to just buy a hooker. You get to fuck, she gets her money. You both get to go back to what you were doing and not have to play relationship games. Win fucking win situation.

Now... if you're dealing with me. You're paying, driving, and I expect you to suck and fuck this dick. Don't waste my time. I expect you to get me drunk and high af. You want this dick right? If not I can just chill and you can go out with that SIMP nugga and not get this dick. Not my problem. I needed to level up on Call of Duty anyway.

[Asker]

I’m assuming this is a troll comment, cause I didn’t say anything about me wanting a man to ask me on a date… also the way you talk is disgusting

[Asker]

Also this comment has been bothering me ever since I have seen it, not everyone wants your dick. You also shouldn’t be expecting anyone that’s with you to quote “suck and fuck this dick” which is a disgusting term to use, your comment is truly disgusting. Your 43 comment on someone’s post that’s 20 years younger than you that’s just simply asking a question based off of an experience and for some reason you’re using vulgar language and making the asker uncomfortable.
At your big age your still lustful it’s a shame

[D_Bone_Steak]

lolz, I can't stop laughing... My intention wasn't to offend, but I can see how you could be if you took that serious. I was just imitating a black woman that is talking shit on TikTok about the topic (you already know that's how they talk) and modified the character to fit a male saying the same things. I forgot to add the "sprinkle sprinkle" stuff or the male version of Drizzle Drizzle lolz.

Sometimes I answer too many of these questions and yes, you're correct, I do slip into troll mode. As for your question, I would say why some men expect women to put out because they expected a transaction. They driving you around, buying your drinks, your food, and entertaining you (I really don't see how that's entertainment, but that's another subject, and spending time on you... so they're expecting to get a little something something in return. Kind of like the over exaggerated character I made up earlier.

I mean the truth is most guys that would waste their time doing the traditional date stuff doesn't really care about getting to know you. I'd bet money that most of them are just following a path that is supposed to lead to getting some sex. Then they get all butt hurt when it doesn't work out that way. Is that a better answer than my troll answer earlier?

[Asker]

Definitely way better. Once I saw you say sprinkle sprinkle I knew exactly what you were talking about. Now had you added that in the original, I probably wouldn’t have responded the way I did.
What I will say is it’s a bit sad on my end as a girl who wants to get into a relationship that I have to spend probably months trying to weed those guys out. But as a women who pays for the date, they still expect something from me

[D_Bone_Steak]

"I needed to level up on Call of Duty anyway." - You gotta admit that was funny.

[Asker]

It definitely was. I was sitting here reading literally like “is this dude serious” got the bottom where you said that and was like wtf and laughed

[D_Bone_Steak]

It is sad, the whole situation. Watching my youngest sister keep getting mixed up with fake men, it's a bit annoying... she was with this guy for almost a year, ended up getting pregnant, and then we all find out he's married with kids. The current marketplace for sex and relationships has been destroyed though thanks to the likes of "sprinkle sprinkle" TikTokers and their followers. Hookup culture has also made it's mark. It's gotten so bad that even the men have finally collectivized in their own groups like MGTOW or redpill.

I mean outside of extremely conservative or religious settings... the idea of the nuclear family seems unobtainable. That's a Marxist goal, to get rid of the family, and they've done a good job at it through certain outlets.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely, I mean my first boyfriend aka my last boyfriend I was with was cool up until he started recording us without my knowledge because his friends wanted to see.
So when people tell me men are everywhere which is true, but a man who actually wants to be in a relationship where he isn’t sex consumed or cheating Is going to take time to find. Now on both the men and women’s side the red pill thing and the “sprinkle sprinkle “ is just bad. I think that’s why a lot of women who are actually trying to be with a man and settle down and start a family and be in a relationship are actually are wanting to remain single. Which I’m also not trying to take the option as my only way but with the way everyone as a man a woman are moving it seems like that’s what’s going to end up happening for me

[Zack-Bann]

It’s all about the branding


If you let it be known that you’ve put out in first dates before he will be in the headspace of thinking: so why not with me…


Doesn’t mean he’s owed anything. And most men know that.
But we will make a move according to the situation because we have no other choice


Nothing good comes to those who wait.


But if you want a man that’s interested in a slow building relationship and wishes to take long time to get through steps you should pick accordingly


Men like that aren’t typically posing topless on a dating app or playing pool at the local dive (if you get the picture)


Unfortunately the slow-burning passionate men are often a bit more geeky, a bit more reserved.
And that’s unattractive to most women so they end up slipping through the cracks

[McLlovin]

Its 2 things. First of all men have been very abused with dating and a lot of men want compensation. Some women think they are slick and trying to get a free meal.. it ain't so free sometimes. I personally don’t believe in sex before marriage though.

and another possible reason is he’s a man hoe. Anyone who wants sex after meeting someone for the first time is very questionable when it comes to why the want a relationship.

They’re technically a stranger. You dont know who they are yet you want to take them to bed after dinner. because Its just about sex and there is no real depth.

[Asker]

Hi your comment makes lots of sense, thank you for explaining. Regarding the women wanting a free meal thing, I’m not sure why someone would do that. That leads me to think that they are unable to provide a meal for themselves and they can’t be independent. Which is why when going on a date I pay, not because I don’t want the man too. Which if he did that would be very generous of him, but more so because if I decided to go on a date with them they’ve obviously caught my interest that I’m okay with paying for it. Also I’m not sure how men have been abused with dating, and if you could I’d like to know more information on that if you up for it. Also I’m not sure why a man would want compensation from someone entirely different from the one who abused the dating? I’m sure I’ll understand it more either way more information.

[McLlovin]

When i say abused i mean taken advantage of. These days most women want to be spoiled with luxury. I recently seen this video of this women talking about man are not needed and that she only uses men for their money. She said she has money but won’t use her own money because it makes no sense when she can just get him to pay. Basically she is svam artist. These are the types of woman that are peeing in the dating pool and making it hard for women like you who seem decent. They take advantage and so men naturally want to protect themselves from this so they start making up rules like sex first.

Let me just say i dont mind paying but when the women carry themselves like they are entitled then its a turn off. No woman deserves anything on a date, i pay because i am being a polite gentleman. All she has to do is be thankful. But in todays society being to nice makes you look weak so then you got these wild rules by men that want sex first and etc

[Asker]

That makes complete sense, thank you for explaining. What I will say though referencing that men make up the rule like sex first, as I’m the one who tends to pay for the date I think the sex first may come from a different angle than a made up rule. As one I’m the one who asked the guy and I paid without being asked to or even waiting for the guy to pull out his card, but after I paid they ask if I’m gonna let them get some now that I went on a date with them.

[McLlovin]

Well this is where you filter out the ones who are just looking to get some, and men who are actually looking for something more. Sometimes you just end up with a bad apple.

[JohnnyB123321]

No. I always pay for everything. I do well financially and I don’t like to hookup on the first date unless we don’t quite click but there is some attraction. (If it will be a one night stand.) I mean. I will hookup if the girl is clearly interested in that…. But I’d rather just make sure we are a match before dragging more feelings into it right away. I just hate hurting people or letting them down hard if she’s more invested than I’m comfortable with. A few minutes of lust isn’t worth the pain that some people can have if you just don’t want to Go back out or are maybe thinking one more try on a second date before you decide to go a different direction.

[UpaRupa]

Because dating culture is not what it was, it has changed. women today can and will hook up with who they want with little to no investment from the guys they want. the implications then goes to if you don't your not really interested and just there for a free meal so to speak. again dating culture has changed and a lot of women are happy to do that as well. This is a play ground for some but unfortunate very problematic for both men and women that are looking for relationships that aren't so superficial. Best I can recommend is be clear and upfront about expectations and demonstrate integrity with it comes to your beliefs. This will let the guy know if they should hang around or move on.

[Speaking_Frankly]

Dating is often reflective of who you are i. e. You are often what you attract.

Its not all men who want it on the first date, it's only those you or your friends/peers agree to date who might be like that. With situations like that, the common denominator is you and your friends/peers who attract men like that.

[Asker]

I don’t attract any men, if that doesn’t sound believable then 🤷🏽‍♀️ I get rejected a lot, so there’s not much I can attract. I also have no friends because all the girls I was friends with were allowing there boyfriends to cheat on them

[CuriousFlo03]

There is a misconception here.

Guys hear some of their guy friends having sex on first dates all the time, so they feel like if the woman doesn't want to do it on the first date, she's probably using the guy for food and doesn't like him.

It's an ego thing more than a desire thing. And to be honest I have personally had sex on the first date many many times. Often the woman has pushed for it, not me. But I won't be offended if she doesn't put out after the first date, I will just consider she either has strong values , or is trying to play a game with me. I will then act accordingly

[WhiteThought]

If men are supposed to pick them up, make all decisions, pay for everything when taking a woman out on a date, then women are supposed to have sex with them. Women often expect the royal treatment, but don't want to put out.

Generally, men don't expect them to. They just want it, and women will never understand how difficult it is for men, how much we have to work to get sex, so it's frustrating to do so much, and get nowhere.

[Asker]

Hey so I don’t have to have sex with a guy unless I want to. I’m the one who drove myself there, yeah he helped pick the place yet I was the one who paid. Honestly the fact that it’s “frustrating to do so much, and get nowhere” is kind of a problem. Because most of the time girls go in a date and they aren’t thinking “oh, I’m so ready to sleep with this guy” but from what your saying is that the man’s mindset when going on a date is “I hope that she sleep with me after this. I planned this I picked her up and paid. Please let her sleep with me” it’s sad. As someone who’s trying not to think all men are thinking like that and then there’s this comment basically saying men get upset when a girl won’t put out after “all their hard work” it’s helping embed it in my head that men do think like that. I’ve also noticed that a lot of you that are commenting like this aren’t reading the details, because then you’d see the part that states that I the women paid for the dates.
It’s just disgusting that anyone who does think like that gets upset because of it. I didn’t get upset with the guy when I paid and didn’t get my ice cream paid for.
Fortunately enough won’t have to know how much “hard work” I have to put in for sex that I’m not even looking to have on a FIRST date, but I do know how much work I have to put in to ask a guy because I don’t see any men that live in my city who have 1. Approached me 2. Asked me on a date 3. Offered/paid for the date 4. picked me up to go on said date.
Also why would I want a random man that I spent 30-45 minutes talking to’s dick in me?

[WhiteThought]

I'm not saying all men get upset. I'm saying that it is frustrating for men. It does not mean all mean, and it doesn't mean a first date either. I'm simply saying men want sex. Even if he likes you. Even if he loves you. Even if you are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He wants sex. Men don't pursue women for the sake of companionship. They pursue women for sex.

Most men will never get it, and some that do will be jerks. There are also men who try to court you, and make you feel special, make you feel valued. They still want to have sex with you, but understand that a woman needs to feel secure in order to get to that point.

You have to understand. Attraction between men and women is not symmetrical. We don't want the same things.

[Asker]

Yeah I know that in a relationship there’s sex. But now that you’ve explained how men don’t pursue women for companionship but for sex makes me feel like shit about being a woman, more like I’m not worth anything to a men but to be used for sex

[WhiteThought]

If that's your takeaway, then that's fine, but that's not what I said. I mean should men feel like shit because women pursue men for different reasons? Women don't want men just to have a partner either. Most women want children, a family, security, stability, etc. That is why women want men for. That doesn't mean it is the only thing they want from men. Sex isn't the only thing men want from women. it's just the primary thing.

[Asker]

One thing that I’ll always hate that a man says is that sex is his primal urge… you’re not an animal. Honestly I’m kinda done going back with men as old as my dad, even after showing my dad the things that were commented under this even he himself said that these comments are disgusting. Which lets me know a lot.
That’s definitely the takeaway. Also some women do want men just as a partner to have a relationship with, I for one don’t like kids so it’s a no for children for me so that’s out.
If the takeaway from what you were saying isn’t what I was receiving on my end then obviously the way you explained in your comment came off the opposite of what you were intending to say. I’m sorry but if men’s primary thing is sex, it’s still quite sad. Now I have to try and go on dates and not think about how this guy in front of me is probably thinking ‘I can’t wait to fuck her’ that just steers me away from dating because it’s just disgusting that that’s what he’s most likely thinking. I could think we hitting it off and having a great time and the whole time, that’s what’s on his mind and that why he’s making sure this date is a great time. This really does make me lose hope in men.
For men to not want to though of that way that they only want sex, some of you guys do a shit job of not making it seem like it.
It still says something that my father even said these comments are disgusting, imagine having a daughter who wants to go out and date to have a relationship and you’ve got to hope that a dude isn’t try to use her for one thing.
Some Men also lack empathy so them feeling like shit about something? Highly unlikely. But yeah a couple of my friends that I showed this post to and the comments have also decided that dating is not for them. Good jobs guys you running the girls who actually want a relationship off

[CarolinaCutie5]

All men want sex it's just human nature. It's up to you as a woman to say no which majority of you don't. So if sex is available due to giving you the bare minimum he will take it. Everyone wants something for nothing or little effort as possible

[TonyMetal___86]

Who said that all men wants sex? Don't you want sex too and what about other women, doesn't they all want sex too?

Personally i have helped a girl or went on a date with a girl to have sex in return, even if she offered i'll reject and leave, time for you to learn that NOT ALL MEN are the same!

[MrNameless]

Only men looking for a hook up (not a long term) might expect out. You don't have to put out. He's not entitled to sex for it.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. Despite all their efforts to abolish traditional gender roles, most women still expect the man to approach, ask them out and pay for the date. If you want to get rid of the expectation to put out, you need to also get rid of the expectation that he will do and pay for everything. You can't have it both ways.

Today's women are tremendous hypocrites.

[Asker]

There’s been a few dates that I approached first and paid for the date because I asked them on it, yet I was still expected to put out which was weird because I approached and I paid. I didn’t expect anything out of the guys I went on a date with, so them expecting anything from me even though they didn’t approach me or even offer to go 50/50 on the bill was very odd.
I have never expected a guy I went on a date with to pay for anything, as my father still tells me till this day is not never expect anything from a man other than himself or my brother.

[Opinion Owner]

If what you say is actually true, then you are the rare exception. It just rarely happens in real life.

[Asker]

That’s exactly how I ended up in a 2 year relationship with my ex, I thought he was cute and went up to him. There was once that I did ask him to pay but he knew exactly why, and it wasn’t a problem.
I don’t mind paying for something especially if it’s because I like the person or if I’m the one that approached. Money always comes back. I don’t think anyone should expect anything on the first date, but to each their own.
Do I wish a guy would offer to pay? Yes, do I mind paying, no I don’t.
But also at the same time I was raised correctly a lot of the men who expect things on the first date obviously weren’t.

[Opinion Owner]

Like I said, you are a rare exception. The fact is, the majority of women still expect men to do the approaching and the paying. That's an indisputable fact proven by study after study. So my original point stands.

[Asker]

Understandable, I also agree with you original statement. I definitely do think that the woman my age have been approaching men more, does it kind of get a bit tiring when the men won’t do the same approaching. Yes. But I will say that a factor might be which parent you spent the most time with, for example my mother always told me that a man has to approach you first while my father told me that if you are interested in someone that I can also approach them first, just like when you make friends you can approach or the other party can.

[Opinion Owner]

Your father is a smart man. I wish there were more women like you.

[es20490446e]

I don't expect a woman to do what I want.

Instead I expect her to communicate with me.

What really pisses me off is having to be a detective.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

The concept that it is expected is largely outdated and generally untrue. Another feminist war cry that is only true of a small fraction of men. As usual.

[Asker]

Hi, so I’d like to state the obvious I was talking about the men I have been on dates with. I used the word majority because out of all the dates I’ve went on only 2-3 of them didn’t expect me to sleep with them. Also I haven’t went on a date with every man in the world (thankfully) to say every man is doing so, but the guys I have been on a date with have which has been about 9-10 which is considered a small group of men. So obviously because feminism = that women deserve equal social, economic, and political rights and freedoms. This wouldn’t be considered a war cry. This is asking a question that I want to know the answer to/ get insight on because it happens way to frequently that I’m obviously taking the time to ask.

[nedofa71]

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[nedofa71]

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[LiamJHayden]

Either a lack of real world experience or too much of the wrong kind of real world experience.

[WhitneySnow]

They definitely should not expect this but not all guys do. Most will usually expect sex eventually as part of a romantic relationship though.

[Berethor]

Because women expect men to pay for everything, so men don't want to pay for nothing.

[Asker]

Understandable, but if a woman pays they don’t expect a man to whip his dick out later

[Berethor]

If the woman pay for herself then she don't own the man anything, I agree with that.

[Asker]

I don’t think the woman has to owe the man anything at all, regardless if he pays or not.
Just because someone pays doesn’t mean they owe anyone their body or access to their body

[jahaims]

You are talking to immature men if that happens to you

[Anonymous]

Those men are dumb.

But I've never been on a date, and I never had sex, so I can't speak from experience.

[BadApple69]

What? You mean some don’t? I guess I’ve been lucky!

[AngryCarl2]

That was never my expectation but things have probably changed a lot since I last dated.

[Asker]

Yeah it’s definitely changed, a lot of older men have said the same as you. It’s the men who are between 21-35 who are like that in my experience

[Filthy_Immigrant]

because money doesn't grow on trees and nobody wants to blow their money away for nothing

[Asker]

Yet I was blowing my money on nothing… I didn’t get anything out of that date after I paid for it, so your comment makes no sense

[Filthy_Immigrant]

weird, I thought women demand men to pay for everything during dates. so your comment is starting to sound too good to be true

[Asker]

I don’t demand anything to do anything. But I also was the one who approach my ex boyfriend and asked him on a date. It’s not that hard to do, do I wish a guy would offer to pay? Yes, but do I demand and expect it? No.
You always thought/assumed, if it sounds too good to be true then I can assume that you’ve never had a women pay for your meal which is a little sad because it should be a common thing. There are women who will do it, it’s just who you chose will either lead you to a women that will do it or a women who expects/demands that a man should be paying.

[FenixG45]

Probably for the same logic that women expect a man to pay for everything because they took them on a date.

[Asker]

Probably, but in the occasion I’m the one paying. So it doesn’t make sense why the man I went on a date with expects sex from me and I’m the one who paid.
Also I myself as a women don’t expect any man to pay. But also the man paying for everything was instated by men themselves and the women who want it to continue can’t be at fault for it because the men started the whole men paying for dates thing.

[FenixG45]

I DON'T expect a woman to put out, or pay for the first date. But I do believe whoever asks someone out, pays for the date.

[Asker]

Oh definitely, if I ask I should pay. I’ve never had a guy ask me on a date so it’ll most likely be me paying for the rest of my life lol. But I’m glad that men that have responded in here expect for about 1-2 actually don’t expect that

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 for the same reason women think a man owes her attention simply because she has a 🐱 I'd imagine.

[Asker]

Probably, but there are woman like me who don’t need much attention but men try and force me to have sex with them 🙃 so I guess a simple solution would be to stop saying yes to dates and simply remain single

[Opinion Owner]

That's an option.
Another option would be to stop dating THOSE types of men. Because that ain't all men. Just the men you choose.

[Asker]

Honestly the city I live in is very small, so choice wise it’s all I can pick from. Plus within my age range it’s majority of the men who are unfortunately porn watchers/porn addicts

[Opinion Owner]

Then remain single. It's not a fatal condition, I promise.

[Asker]

Which is not fatal? Remaining single or the men who watch porn?

[Opinion Owner]

Remaining single.

[Asker]

Honestly I’m cool with the whole single thing, especially with the amount of dates I’ve gone on with guys like that plus the past trauma from my ex boyfriend. If I do end up actually wanting a relationship it’ll definitely have to be a man who doesn’t jerk off to porn anytime he has free time 🤢 I don’t get the whole porn thing, it’s just weird and disgusting and if it makes it harder to find a man 🤷🏽‍♀️ fine by me. God views lust as a negative and so shall I

[TonyMetal___86]

Just to be good and respectful and to make me feel happy!

[Staximus]

Most don't, you just have a talent for picking shitty dudes

[Anonymous]

I've never known a guy to do this and if it's really as common as women tend to say it is then you guys need to pick better men.

[Asker]

The amount of times that I’ve had this happen it was men around my age. Unfortunately I won’t date higher than 3 years older than me.

[exitseven]

Thats how they do it in the movies.

[Asker]

I’m not sure I’ve seen a movie where that ever happens, but if that how it happens and that’s what the men I went on the date with consumed, then maybe they should probably not complain afterwards

[Panthero80]

Real men don't expect that.

[Anonymous]

Communicate and men are less confused.

[Asker]

It shouldn’t have to be communicated, it should be a known fact. You can tell by the way someone carries themselves and holds a conversation, if they are willing to lose self worth and sleep with a man they don’t even know.

[Asker]

Plus why would a man be confused? If I say I don’t want to sleep with a guy, there shouldn’t be confusion. A lot of guys in my area like to force themselves upon the woman they take on dates

[Opinion Owner]

If you don't listen, you will never learn.

[Asker]

Talked this over with a male friend of mine who also asked a couple of his friends, he said I shouldn’t have to give anyone a heads up also his friends agreeing with what I said. Also mentioned they’d start beating the shit out of the forceful guys for me. I’m listening but I don’t always have to take from all the information that I’m receiving in order to learn

[eagle1951]

cause they are idiots lol.

[panera]

It doesn’t hurt to ask.

[qwerty2469]

I dont think they do.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Ask them.

[fish5505_87]

I don't!