How soon is too soon to be exchanging numbers on a dating app?

Question

It’s been 2 days of chatting back and forth, but this one guy recommended moving to another app like whatsapp. I feel it’s too soon, so I suggested other forms of social media first, but he insisted he is more active there. What do you think is the right thing to do?

Unycorn · Accepted Answer

I only give out my number after a personal date if I want to get to know the other person better. Never before the date. If it's a fake person or we don't meet up, then I haven't given my number to someone I've never even seen. Nevertheless, I change my number every few years. Sometimes old chat acquaintances write to me, and for me the issue is long since settled. It's easier to change the number than to block people. That's on the device, and when you get a new cell phone, the blocks aren't there. I'll just disappear. I do not ghost - I always have a conversation and never tell, when I change my number. My family and friends have my number. I copy the message with the new number and send it to everyone who needs it. Simple. And I leave the old baggage behind. I don't care about numbers. People are what matter. There are many here who are proud that they have never changed their number. I don't care about numbers at all.

Zionne · Accepted Answer

Two days is still early, so it’s okay to take it slow and stick to platforms you’re comfortable with. You can suggest social media or continue chatting in-app until you feel more trust. The key is to honor your boundaries, he should respect your pace.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Do not meet him on WhatsApp , WhatsApp will gain him your phone number immediately, He sounds like he is trying to spam you , don’t fall for that shit whatsoever. If I talk to a girl on the internet and she wants to talk on the phone immediately with me
, I will tell her to meet me on Snapchat instead because Snapchat only requires an email to set up an account or Instagram as well, and you can video chat each other on there , so if someone says they can not meet You on Snapchat or Instagram , they are blowing smoke up your ass and they more than likely aren’t legit. Someone that is legit isn’t going to make excuses not to meet you on an app like that because it’s safer and wiser to do so. WhatsApp and telegram and Signal all require phone numbers and that’s why spammers want you to meet them on there

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Best is never exchange numbers on the dating app. Use the apps communication method (DMs, for example) until you meet in person, then exchange numbers.

If you put your number on the app, there are too many other people who can see it, which is not good, nor is it safe.

HawkPerception · Answer

It's never too soon. I find that notion ridiculous. If someone was to ask for your number in person saying "Hey I find you really attractive. I was hoping I could get your number." you make a decision on the spot whether you want to give it to them or not. That's what people used to do and that's how you get to know someone. The faster you get off the dating app, the better.

Every time I've had a conversation on a dating app, it lasted less than a day (a few hours of conversing) before I ask for their number. It feels more personal that way.

And if you don't like them and they're harassing you, you can just block their number. It's no big deal.

aaron13547 · Answer

I have learned to let the women ask to exchange numbers... now it's a "test" and if he is worth your time he will put up with the app as long as you decide this test should take. It's not a test but it is. I only say this because I feel like your not the kind of women that could ever see it like a test... you seem like a good women and a good women is worth the real but not real "test". I wouldn't down dude for asking to whatsapp but I would down dude for not accepting your answer your not ready.

Zack-Bann · Answer

From a guy’s perspective: 9/10 times when a girl refuses to give her number and insists on instagram or something like that, a date never happens

That’s why guys try their best to get a phone number

Realistically it doesn’t change much. End of the day you can still block him anytime you feel he overstepped be it instagram or WhatsApp

It’s up to you in the end. No one should force you into anything

But if you like this guy and wanna see where it goes, exchanging numbers is a far better option for future dates

JHNS98 · Answer

There's no such thing as "too soon" in general. Gauge the connection and feel when the time is right. I've seen this many times on this site, there's an obsession with normative "rules" that really doesn't make sense. Every relationship develops differently, what's timely for someone might be too soon for someone else. For me it's taken anywhere from two months to half a year with various girls depending on the level of trust and security that was developed within the relationship up to that point.

Sorry for not being helpful, but this obsessive normativity really bugs me.

Anonymous · Answer

I use the same idea sometimes. Usually suggest Zangi Messanger or Telegram apps. For 2 reasons.
1) Both have 'seen' and 'typing..' features so better communication without need of Instagram or so.

Since I have my Instagram private, don't really post or put anything, and just scrolling around, besides I don't want more spying from US companies and so.

2) No need for phone number, just by ID. So can easily remain strangers in case we do not match or vibe.

So merely for clear communication. Less clutter and total focus on communication in my case.

dragoblack · Answer

My rule is social media profile [like Facebook] first, then if they still want to keep talking then number. I've had experiences of women stop talking to me after they see my profile and we just stayed acquaintances after.
I dont have anything bad, but i am a nerdy homebody who is on disability, and i keep myself in shape, but a great deal of the time, once they find out, they lose all interest. Being on Disability tends to be a big turn-off for a lot of women.

MemeSupreme · Answer

just give him your insta whenever you feel like it i dont like doing number bc i find it more annoying if they keep contacting you after blocking them (if i do)

McLlovin · Answer

There’s no rules. Its what feels comfortable at the moment. If you feel uncomfortable giving your phone number, then go with that. If you feel its okay then have at it. Whats important is that you feel safe enough to do so.

dwreborn · Answer

If he was really interested he would keep it going wherever you feel comfortable on dating app or a phonecall trust is something you must earn and its a lot easier to break it then to build it

MJVillarama · Answer

Totally fair to feel it’s too soon. if you're not comfy, stick to your pace. Two days isn’t super fast, but trust matters more than speed. Socials are a great middle ground, so if he’s genuine, he’ll respect that. No harm in waiting till it feels right!

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Completely up to you how soon. There is no magic amount of time to pass to go by. Some people you want to exchange immediately. Some you take your time with. As for WhatsApp, I go rid of years ago when my banking information kept getting stolen after downloading it. I won’t go near that sigte ever again.

Likes2drive · Answer

If things are going well it’s not too soon but if you think it is then tell him you’re not ready yet. Usually if a woman tells me this really soon then it’s usually a scammer trying to get more info on me and they always want to move to another app but not a voice call so that’s what it usually is but if it’s guy then he’s probably just anxious to meet

sage2021 · Answer

I think you'll know when the time is right. Just let it flow until you know.

beenherebefore · Answer

I would only exchange numbers after the first date and if the date went quiet well and I see potential. Before that I advise you to strictly text each other through the dating app or social media platforms.

NoDecision · Answer

He is more active there? Seems like he is going for quantity than quality. He probably has 5 girls on his line as it is. In other words, you are not so special to him. You are just a number in his queue.

Ironco · Answer

Don't do it, it will only backfire on you.  Never give out your number until you are a 1000% sure they are not psycho. You'll thank me later...

Melanie01 · Answer

I think the key isn't the length of time, but rather the trust and quality of the interaction.

If the communication between two people is genuine and resonates, three days isn't too early. However, if it's just polite small talk, there's no need to change it no matter how long it takes.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Anyone who prefers to use apps over actual talking is not one to be taken seriously.

bowenw · Answer

There are no rules, but I find people that push to get onto other apps often have ulterior motives. I suggest you follow you gut instincts.

Coden7 · Answer

Moving to another app is commonly seen as a red flag for various scamming projects. In my opinion, setting up your first meetup on the app in use is the way to go, then transition to phone number once you actually meet each other.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

On Telegram you can connect without the phone number. Whatsapp does not offer that?

Drumlin2001 · Answer

When I'm dating I have a burner number so happy to move onto WhatsApp when ot feels right. Only share my actual number when I feel it's got legs

Joshydavid25 · Answer

There is no too soon.. It's up the people.. Many just do it instantly.. I don't think it's something he should apologize for..

RHK36 · Answer

Meet up in public first before giving out your number or any important info for that matter. People can act way different on an app vs in person.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Whenever you feel comfortable with him and have some sort of trust in him...

molonski2 · Answer

No distinct rules , but I'm with you " What's the big deal? What's the rush? So many agendas.

shortster · Answer

Wait until you meet in person. They only want you to go off the app to do something against the rules of the app.

Anonymous · Answer

I thought you were an AI persona. Am I wrong?

Jessica850808 · Answer

It depends on your feeling. If you are interested, you can come anytime.

Athena7_ · Answer

According to my sister, it's been 6 months.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Stand your ground

jahaims · Answer

Younger generations are so weird.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Go with your instincts.

Iron_Man · Answer

Two or three days maybe more

Anonymous · Answer

Couple of days is too soon.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Go with your gut

chenyu · Answer

Do whatever you want

How soon is too soon to be exchanging numbers on a dating app?

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