Which is worse on a dating app: a profile with only selfies or a profile with only group pics?

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Pick your fighter

Only selfies is worse

Only group pics is worse

Both equal

[class_reductionist]

neither. both can be bad depending on circumstance

• as some said, all selfies can show a person has no social life
• all group shots can show the person is too dependent on other people

but I find something that isn't interrogated in general is that the concept of "social proof" is a form of second-order observation people use as a shortcut around getting to know a person by people who don't want to invest the time and effort integrating with people themselves

ah well, dating apps aren't for dating anyway, they're for encouraging the commodification of people and turning a profit. if they were really meant to do the thing they're ostensibly built for, they wouldn't have a steady revenue stream, would they?

stop using dating apps, touch grass and go to community events

[Levin]

"but I find something that isn't interrogated in general is that the concept of "social proof" is a form of second-order observation people use as a shortcut around getting to know a person by people who don't want to invest the time and effort integrating with people themselves"

This is true, but arguably also, the essence of social media. Social media is 'proof' that a person is well adjusted and their desirability and social worth on social media also apparently reflective of real life.

[class_reductionist]

@Levin social media is a stock market for takes where people's profiles are their portfolios, and this is especially true on platforms with gamified metrics, this site not being immune to the dynamic. social media is not reflective of the qualities of a person, but how well they can play the market

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I mean you’re right, but saying I already touch grass and an active in the community? I can agree that dating apps suck and mostly benefit their shareholders, but my options for meeting people are not unlimited

[ChiTown33]

It depends. How long are you willing to play where's Waldo in each Pic matching people to determine who the person is that owns the profile? To me I'd say group photos is worse. But now that I'm thinking about it got a lot of group photos on my profile.😂 Then again, I think I'm quite distinguishable from most people. Look for the tallest goofiest guy in the pic, that'd be me 😂

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Where’s Waldo LMAO

I think group pics are fine, but make sure you put a selfie as your profile pic so the viewer would know who they are supposed to be recognizing

[ChiTown33]

Agreed. I just meant we've all seen those profiles where you didn't know who was the owner of the profile in the Pic. Online dating is daunting enough. You're lucky if someone spends 5 minutes on your profile. Don't sabotage yourself by making it unclear who you are.👍

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Exactly. I understand some people get more attention than others on dating apps, but I can’t help but wonder if some of the people of the people who get none have genuinely done it to themselves. Maybe I’m being judgmental here, but if you don’t have the initiative to figure out how to put together a dating profile, I doubt you’re going to put adequate effort into forming a relationship. I’ll admit the dating scene is competive, but the rules aren’t even that unreasonable tbh

[ChiTown33]

Virtually no one gets NONE. But speaking as a guy who did the online dating bit for a few years what I learned was most people doing online dating do not want to date anyone (save for a unicorn they're probably never going to meet). Maybe 5% are actually actively looking with a purpose. This is why I recommend to any guy looking to either get comfortable with probably a 1% success rate or don't even do it.
I think most guys expect more success and give up before they figure out what they're doing wrong. Over time I increased my matches probably five fold. I think too many guys expend too much energy on women that are of the 95% I previously mentioned. I think that is the largest part of the problem.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I get that. It really is a numbers game at the end and the end of the day. I really wish people who just wanted to hook up not be so disingenuous

[ChiTown33]

Yup. Both genders have thier gripes I guess. Women are concerned with men who just want to hook up. And men are concerned with women who only do it for the attention/adulation they recieve.

[Zionne]

Both have downsides, but a profile with only group pics can be more frustrating because it’s hard to tell which person they actually are. Selfies at least show their face clearly, even if it feels a bit self-focused. Ideally, a mix of solo and social shots gives the best impression.

[Rei13]

Really doesn’t impact me either way tbh, but I think only group pictures are worse. How are you supposed to know who the person is? If I have to guess I’m going to assume it’s the ugliest person in the shot 😅

[blackeagle007]

😆 you read my mind

[BCRanger10]

I have no skin in this game, since I'm married. However, if you ask me, I think it's worse to have only selfies. That would show me that the person has little to no social life (which would then suggest that they're excessively quirky or clingy) or is very self-absorbed.

Group photos at least show that they can get on well with most people.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

This is basically the argument I’ve heard. I think it’s good to have a mix personally. The group pictures to show you have friends and an active social life, the selfies so I can know what you look like lol

[glennos89]

It's weird that people put group pictures on their profile. Group pictures are shared with Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok or Snapchat. Definitly not on a dating app where your profile should be representing you as a person.

I instantly skip a person who's profile picture is a group. I'm not willing to waste my time on figuring out who you are in that group

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I always say SELFIES are SELFISH & MIRROR SHOTS are for MORONS.
As for a dating profile have some take your photo & I guarantee you’ll get more responses. As for group photos & only group photos if you have those on your dating profile it’s as unless as a woodpecker with rubber lips or a paper bag in a rainstorm.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I think you just have a problem with women tbh

[Static_In_The_Attic]

You think what you think & you are allowed to think what you want to think just like people think your a dude.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

This is exactly what I’m talking about. Have fun bring pathetic and miserable

[Flower7]

@Static_In_The_Attic Having someone else take the picture is a good idea. Selfies tend to have odd angles.

[blackeagle007]

Where did he say he has problems with women? I’ve read what he wrote, I don’t see anything indicating it.

[YourFutureEx]

Most definitely the group pics! It always means that she's the uglier one.

Selfies-only profile won't matter much for women as it does to men. Men have to look social to be taken more seriously and valuable while women only need to look pretty on the dating apps.

[Alex-Snow]

For dating purposes I would only want a selfie and not see her friends

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I’m kind of the same way tbh. Group pics can be good bc they show you have an active social life (and hopefully that you’re not just looking to hook up), but like give me some way to know which one I’m supposed to go out with lol

[Alex-Snow]

Good point. How has it worked out for you in finding boyfriends?

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I mean nothing yet but I don’t think that’s the reason lol

[Alex-Snow]

Gotcha

[Levin]

I think selfies are fine.

I mean, I go out a fair amount. And I don't have a photographer documenting my every move. I don't really have many photos of me in general.

Of course, the best thing is not to use any dating app.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I understand this. How do you suggest I go about meeting people if I’m not getting asked out irl?

[Levin]

Well women and men have different experiences on dating apps. Dating apps are degrading for men and puts them in desperation or begging mode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZTIbHIsIYw

So my advice is more for men. I know women get 100s and 1000s of matches on them with ease, so maybe they're not a bad thing for women.

As for why you're not asked out or where to meet people, I can't answer that without context and knowing you. Are you generally social and do you go out a lot generally? Aside from that sometimes it's an 'energetic' thing. Some women can really lack confidence and don't realise how closed off and standoffish they are. I would never approach them.

[Grond21]

Group pics only is a hilarious mistake. You have no idea who the girl is then

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

😂😂😂😂😂

Like an I just supposed to pick one? And ofc these users have all the same people in every picture so that there’s literally no way to tell

[Grond21]

Exactly! It's a hilarious mistake to make.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

It is! I honestly think some people think the pic is a participation grade

[Grond21]

Lol, I think you are right. I remember years ago seeing a profile of a girl who seemed interesting, but it was seven pictures of her friends and her sisters. Some of them looked attractive and others did not. And I had no idea who she was.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

At that point how do you know she’s even in any of the pictures lol

[Grond21]

😂🤣😂🤣😂 you can make an excellent point.

[Anonymous]

Neither an issue. I'd rather try to understand / read that person using that info they share of themselves.
We're there to know each other.
Do you wish to control people even when you're seeking to get to know them 😬

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I mean as kindly as possible: I don’t think you understand how dating apps work. Im not telling people to do one thing or another, just expressing frustration that the options this person has taken benefit neither or us. I think you might be the one with the control issues my dude

[Opinion Owner]

I mean when you phrase is 'which is worse' as if both are bad from the very beginning. And also as if there has to be a mix to be good enough. May I ask what's wrong with only selfies? I see nothing bad if there's a good bio or geniune talk first.

[genericname85]

can't talk for male dating profiles cause i'm not looking at these. but for female dating profile, wors is close up portrait selfies. cause not having a full body image on there pretty much means she's fat.

[Zack-Bann]

Neither one is a winner but I would say group pics is worse


I don’t wanna play Russian roulette with who’s gonna show up to the date

[Steelcore5280]

With group pictures, it becomes difficult to figure out exactly whom that person is. I would automatically swipe left on that person whenever that happened to me.

[Twalli]

I don't know you, I don't know what you look like. In a group picture, you could be the one I find hot or the one I don't. I might argue that all dating profile pictures should be selfies, or at least not with other people.

[MikeTheBartender]

I would prefer the group picture over the selfie, the problem with the selfie is a lot of people hide their body weight.

[dragoblack]

The profiles with ig model photos, body shot photos, random images, just above-the-neck photos, and/or just group photos where you can't tell whose profile it is.

[jshm2]

A "pics only" bio is far worse than either.

[Flower7]

Selfies are normal for dating apps.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

I think so too. But some people think all selfies is a bad sign from what I hear

[Flower7]

That doesn’t make sense to me.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Me either really. Something about not having an active enough social life or not looking for something serious. I don't know if it’s actually true, but it’s a real piece of advice I was given

[Flower7]

Bad advice. It’s a dating site, not a Facebook page.

[Shark_61695]

A good mix is the best option. I don't want to try to figure out which one you are. Only face shots are almost as bad.

[WonderingManII]

Only group pics is worse

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Agreed. Why do yoy feel that way tho? I want to see it our reasons are different

[WonderingManII]

The dating app is meant to advertise the person I want to try dating. The extra people in the photos don't make much since. I guess they want to say they are a friendly person with a lot of friends?

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

That’s basically my reasoning. I think there’s an assumption that people who only have selfies are not looking for anything serious, so I understand not having all selfies. That being said, I have no way of knowing which one set up the profile, which is kind of a problem on a dating app lmao. At least one picture of just you should be standard tbh. Also like you said, I’m not going out with your friends lmao

[WonderingManII]

I think the dating app thing is complicated. I remember trying to use online dating. I read articles about it. They told you want kind of picture you should take. They told men to lie about their height cause most women like taller men. They told women to lie about their height cause most men want 5'4 women. The article seemed very serious. Good luck on your profile. But I don't subscribe to lying to get someone.

[Hghhhhhhhhhh]

Me either. I’m really wondering who wrote that article and why they’re so comfortable encouraging people to lie. There are some tells you can use to read peoples intentions (ex someone with no pics of their friends may be kind of a loner), but honestly it’s hard to tell until you’ve had some sort of interaction irl. Also lying about your height is just stupid bc the person is going to figure it out as soon as they meet up lol

[WonderingManII]

All I know is I tried to meet women from the internet for a lot of years. And I had a very good reason for trying it. Now that I'm 46 years old, I have given up hope on it. My conclusion is for some weird reason online dating works for some people and not others. Life is not fair, so why should online dating be fair? I just say "good luck". But I'm getting old and less horny. More health problems are creeping up on me. So I have lost the desire to waste my time on it.

[Rena4]

Both with a show, it demonstrates to people that you have a social life. And people enjoy being around you.

[shortster]

All the pictures in your dating profile should be of only yourself. Unless you plan on me dating those other people along with you?

[blackeagle007]

I’d say both. But then again what do I know? I’m not good taking pics

[msc545]

Group pics are worse because you can't really tell which one is which most of the time.

[Pohjolan]

Group pics only usually means that its the ugly one.

[BadApple69]

Group pictures are horrible.

[mysteriousNicholas]

Say no to group pics 😔

[Anonymous]

I don't like either.