I went on a date with a girl, got along pretty well, ended up going back to her place and hooking up, but now I don’t want a second date?

[jfarm]

So we were talking for about a week, we both want long term relationships (I’m open to short, but I do want something long lasting). We got along great on the date, I was a little tipsy and she was laughing at everything I was saying.

She invited me back to her place, and we ended up having sex and I stayed the night. We both had fun, and I woke up early to get home to take care of my dog. As I left, I don’t know why, but I just didn’t feel a connection and I really wasn’t interested in a second date. It could have been that certain behaviors reminded me of my exes that ended up being really toxic? There really wasn’t anything she did that I can think of that made me not want a second date, but I know she does. I don’t know if I should continue on with a second date or if I should just not?

In the past I haven’t listened to my gut and it’s gone poorly for me. There is something my mind is telling me, and I don’t know if I should listen to my gut or give the second date a chance? I just don’t want to continue seeing her because I am really bad at saying no…and I also just feel bad about giving bad news, which isn’t good. So I have ended up in relationships that I maybe shouldn’t have been. But with this one, there really wasn’t a particular red flag I could pin point. Just a feeling. But I feel bad because now it just looks like all I wanted was to hook up. What should I do?

Updates

6 mo

It also doesn’t help that I had a very very bad break up last year. I am over my ex, but I think it did a lot of damage to my ability to trust people and putting myself out there again is scary for me right now. And I think I am extra cautious and nervous about getting into any relationship where I don’t feel immediately excitement for a second date. Even though we did sleep together.

[HollyK21]

No matter how you chop this up it’s going to look like you used her. The conveniency of having this realization after sex, it’s hard to get around that. Like you didn’t have any of these thoughts beforehand? I don't know, it just looks bad. Don’t waste her time with a 3rd date if you aren’t interested but do better in the future, because this is just really fucked up.

[WhitneySnow]

Tell her the truth. She won’t be happy, but at least she won’t hate you (assuming you’re telling the truth and she believes you). She may tell you that you should never have slept with her if you weren’t certain, though.

[Staximus]

There's no reason to not go on a second date. Having "a feeling" while leaving when you've been drinking the night before is a bullshit excuse. Grow a pair of fucking balls and stop trying to run away.

[slatyb]

So don´t go on a second date. She may be disappointed, but that´s life. Most relationships don´t last. If you have sex on the first date, you will have sex with a lot of people who don´t stick around

[PeachyPie93]

Just tell her.. the worst thing you can do is ghost her or lead her on when you know you aren't into it..

[beefcakebradybatson]

Is that because you clubbed her and didn't enjoy it?

[Nikki1989]

Alrighty then.

[Noirette]

All I'm hearing is you used her.

[Mike_Whocheese_Harry]

post nut clarity