Is my jealousy irrational?

[s1llygrl]

I recently started dating this guy who’s a good deal older than me. Being a lot older, he’s also a lot more experienced. I’m 18, a virgin, and had never even had a boyfriend before him. I also told him before we started dating that I could be a very jealous person. He recently told me that him and a girl that he was sleeping with just a week or two before we first met are still friends and talk often, and naturally I got a bit jealous. He got upset with me for being jealous even though in my eyes my reaction wasn’t even irrational or unreasonable at all, I just got quiet when he told me like I usually do when I’m upset. Am I in the wrong here?

[Flower7]

He should not be maintaining contact with that girl. But there is nothing you can do to make him stop, so it’s best to cut ties with him.

Also, please do not lose your virginity to him. He seems to have a circulation of women and you would just be one of the crowd and it wouldn’t be anything special to him. He does not seem to put you above other women in any way.

[s1llygrl]

Thank you for your response. I am really thinking of breaking things off with him now, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this situation even though he seems to have moved on and doesn’t bring it up anymore.

[Flower7]

He has not moved on if she is still actively a part of his life.

[HighValue]

1. His behavior is inappropriate by being in contact with anyone he was intimate with in his past.

2. It is fine to be in a long term relationship with someone of a different age, BUT they still need to have compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, and some hobbies/activities in common with you for long term success.

3. Never be with someone that has participated in casual sex/ONS/friends with benefits. They are immoral, low quality people, They will never truly love you or be both physically and emotionally loyal long term. Avoid those kinds of people if you want lasting satisfaction in a relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

You shouldn't ask others to tell you if you are wrong. If it feels wrong to you, then it is wrong for you.

Tell this guy that you are not going to have sex with him until you are engaged and the truth will soon be obvious.

[blondegrrl]

Your right to feel how you feel. Just leave him he doesn't treat you like the queen you are, trust me girl go find a boy your age, you'll have the same level of experience and passion for eachother. It seems like your current guy doesn't respect your boundaries and is using his authority to gaslight you

[Alex-Snow]

He should not be contacting any of his former girlfriends. I would be very careful on getting sexually involved with him. Maybe wait for the right guy at the right time in ur life to have sex with. Until then enjoy some solo pleasure and just have fun with life.

Ur thoughts?

[s1llygrl]

I don’t think I’ll have sex with him unless I were to stay with him and find reason to trust him, but I really doubt I’m going to stay with him at this point.

[Alex-Snow]

I think that is a good decision... until a new guy is around just enjoy some solo orgasms like most guys do!!!

[Danny_dan92]

Honestly I do understand your disappointment.




It’s not irrational, I for one would not feel comfortable or like it if a girl I’m taking seriously is over here still communicating with a guy she has had history with.




I don’t think he see’s how his actions are unethical given the situation

[Staximus]

You're not wrong. I don't know if he was trying to make you jealous or if he's just a dumbass. If he still hangs out with her in person, he probably still fucks her and you have a problem here

https://www.youtube.com/embed/eco_xvkEQlg

[s1llygrl]

They don’t hang out in person, they just text and occasionally call which I think is very weird. It makes me feel like he’s still keeping the possibility of them sleeping together again as an option.

[Staximus]

You're right, he's keeping her around for after you dump him, or because he knows he can get sex from her when he wants. I would not be surprised if he's still screwing her behind your back

[Staximus]

Get rid of this guy

[Staximus]

Value yourself by protecting yourself physically, emotionally, and psychologically. If this guy valued you and took you seriously, he wouldn't still be talking to the other girl. Don't give yourself away to this silver tongued bastard.

[Nikki1989]

Your reaction was highly predictable, but frankly, completely understandable given the circumstances you described.

[Vegasrunner]

I dont think you're wrong in fact your instincts are proably correct

[JuliusCaesarr]

I think it's quite normal

[ZameerAnsari91]

Not wrong, it's normal, very understandable

[In_Trance]

Yea, this is not off to a good start

[s1llygrl]

What does this mean?

[In_Trance]

I mean this is probably not the right situation for you

[s1llygrl]

Ah okay I understand now. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because I really like him but I think you’re right. I may have to break things off.

[Anonymous]

You’re dumb and deserve what you get