Do most people marry at the right time instead of the right person?

[Anonymous]

have you ever noticed that 30s is when just almost EVERYONE starts getting married?

[Anonymous]

I think thats because of the "biological clock" that women have. I've talked to friends, and they mentioned once they hit their 30s they had baby fever. And because of that, a lot of people want to have a solid family unit, meaning marriage. I think that has influenced society so now its a social norm to get married in your thirties, despite the baby fever. I think if we waited to marry the right person, the percentage of divorces or family-feuds might reduce, however if we hold out for the right person, whos to say we aren't too picky and will never be satisfied, or, will miss the chance to have a child and family.

[Asker]

I know but most men marry in their 30s as well. its not only women marrying in their 30s

[Opinion Owner]

I agree. I think that also goes back to the social norm of marrying in your 30s. For a long time, we have been taught since we were young that life goes like: "school, career + dating, marriage, family..." and so a lot of people i think find themselves in their 30s at the time of their life when they envisioned themselves having a family/settling down. This goes for both men and women. Talking to my boyfriend, he said he ideally would have been married in his thirties because then he could be a fun/active parent. As he's getting older he's noticing it harder to keep up, and in his 'idealized' world, he was married in his 30s.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

Because smart men understand their dating value goes down as they get older. A man doesn't get more attractive as his dick starts to malfunction, start losing hair, getting fat wrinkly and saggy. This begins at 40

[Asker]

@opinion owner

Plus, younger men tend to have healthier kids.
Older parents tend to be more likely to have problematic children

Very valid reasons to have kids early

Plus If you have your child too late in life, it means no retirement. You're still supporting your child through college at 65.

[Asker]

And something you don't realize is that many people think they married the right person but they didn't.

[MontBlanc]

I think for some people timing plays a bigger role than they realize.

When someone reaches a certain stage in life where they feel ready for stability or family, they may become more open to committing to the person who happens to be there at that moment.

That doesn’t necessarily mean the person is wrong, but sometimes timing influences decisions just as much as compatibility.

Ideally, both the right person and the right time come together.

[ohsheeT]

Yes because they'll meet a guy and they'll think this is their last chance and same with a guy meeting a girl so they have to do society's rules they rush into things sometimes they work out sometimes they don't I guess but that's also usually the time where both male and female have got it all out of their system on doing what they're doing and they feel it's just time to do something about it

[Smart_Monk]

Exactly. Also I hate it when people say "looking for true love". It's the same stupidity.

If it is fantasizable-about, then the person who provides it isn't unique. ㅤ

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

How could we possibly know they marry or don't marry the right person for them? We can't have access to that kind of information. But we do have a lot of anxious imagination, projecting many ideas in many directions, these ideas mostly talk about what we fear instead of what's really inside other people's mind.

[Asker]

because everyone can't be finding the right person only in their 30s. why is it that the vast majority of people getting married are in their 30s?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Again, how to determine their reasons for marriage without their input on the matter?

[Asker]

@maybe_maybe_not

because its strange how everyone seems to bump into the right person at a certain age. don't you think?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Not strange to me, as my love life followed a trial and error process, from teen years to 30s and beyond, I assume people proceed more or less the same as me. So the 30s would be that moment where you're experienced enough to have a clearer idea about who you want to spend your life with. It is also the moment you're supposed to be more grounded at the professional and material level

[Asker]

@maybe_maybe_not

clearer idea about who you want to spend the rest of your life with... does not mean you had the luck of bumping into the magical right person at the right time.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

The "right person" is just a concept anyway, when many people fit into that concept then it's not particularly miraculous to find one that fit our idea

[Asker]

@maybe_maybe_not

how much of a coincidence does everyone start finding the right person at a certain age.
i don't believe it

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

After all, it's not so important, isn't it? Unless you're studying the topic ofc

[Anonymous]

I recently turned 28 in late January. None of my friends are married yet, amd most of them aren't even in a relationship. I think some people feel like they are getting older amd running out of time. I'm definitely willing to wait for the right girl.

[MissSunshine2]

Most of my friends are single and these are people from their twenties onwards. Two of them met their partners early, one is dating and I'm dating someone in their early thirties, as a woman in my late thirties.

[Cyfris]

I think most people marry the right person at the right time.. There certainly is a correlation between women of a certain age becoming more aggressive towards their persuit of such outcomes though. Unfortunately aging is harder for single women then married women and much harder than for single men.

[Asker]

men have a timeline too. dating doesn't get better once you start losing your hair, dick starts to malfunction, getting wrinkles.

[WhitneySnow]

Well, I hope they’re marrying the right person too. But yeah a lot of people now are waiting till they’re in their early thirties to get married.

[Cute_User513]

Yea I agree a lot of people are waiting to their late 20s to 30s, but I hope they a marrying the right person too

[Miristheiss]

I would say they marry neither.

They wait too long, having sex with people they shouldn't and they base it on feelings instead of values and life goals.

[KimmySchmit]

Yes. If you find the right person never let them go.

[Alex-Snow]

Yikes I have never thought of that. Some may do it perhaps but it should be for love, the right person and some fun sexual chemistry.

[Ariesman81]

Time is more a constraint of women. Men don't share your sense of urgency.

[Asker]

men have a timeline too. dating doesn't get better once you start losing your hair, dick starts to malfunction, getting wrinkles.

[Asker]

I'm 30, I dont date 44 yr old guys. this alone tells you enough

[Ariesman81]

It's fine. I'm not your type anyway. I've got a high school diploma.

[Asker]

I warn against you telling younger men that they don't have a timeline.
because once they get old, ugly, wrinkly and dick stops working then they are surprised why few to no girls go for them anymore.
Make use of your prime... you will regret not using it once you are older

[Ariesman81]

I'd suggest you don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one standing at the finish line.

[Asker]

@ariesman81

single women can have kids. single men can't.

i can have kids without a husband. im not doomed. but if you're a single 50 yr old guy, hoping that a young woman of child bearing age will pay any attention to you, then you're fried.

[Ariesman81]

Selfish, liar and delusional. Just going for broke huh?

[Asker]

@ariesman81

haha you sound mad

[msc545]

A man with a half ounce of brains and any self-care gets married anymore. Marriage is signing up for financial suicide for men.

[Anonymous]

I don't meet the requirements or the criteria of datings.

[Jeff51]

Right person.

[Anonymous]

They get desperate 😈😋🐰

[Anonymous]

Nope. Maybe everyone you know.

[Zionne]

probably