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30 years old attracted to 19 to 23 yr old boys who work af the beach club. Probably too immature for me but... can't help but be attracted. I feel somewhat like a pedophile. Tall, handsome, strong, wrinkle free, shiny head of hair, Probably still lives with his parents but I don't mind
1 d
Is it weird for a 30-year-old woman to be attracted to 19–23-year-old guys?
Anonymous
(25-29) 
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
9Opinion
If you don’t want to make it look weird or fetish-y then maybe start by calling them men instead of boys. The infantilization here is what adds the oddity.
They're not men. Physically they are but mentally they aren't
When you say stuff like that, it makes me take back my opinion and think yeah, something really weird is going on here
@WhitneySnow
No offense but If you think a 19 to 23 yr old is mentally a man. There is something wrong with you
I’m 20 and I’m a woman. But that’s not the point. The point is you like them BECAUSE you think they’re immature. And that’s really weird and kind of pedophilic, even if not legally.
@WhitneySnow
You dont realize how much you don't know.
I thought I was a grown adult at 20. Now that I'm 30, looking back at how much I have learned and grew since then. I wouldn't consider myself a full fledged adult back then
@WhitneySnow
18-22 is when you are adults in training. You are still learning the basics about the world and how it works. Most likely still at least immature in some sort of way. Still learning to adapt to the adult world
Unless you have held enormous responsibility at a very young age, it is near impossible for someone that young to be mature
Very spot on Whitney, per usual👍. Asker, I feel like you’re missing the point. It doesn’t matter if you find a guy immature, you shouldn’t be calling an adult male a boy. It comes off as suspicious when you are specifically taking interest in these men you essentially view as immature boys. I’m not sure how you don’t view that as even slightly problematic as a 30 year old.
Not to mention, you prefer them when they are pretty much straight out of being underage. I mean 19, still a teen. But that’s what you like, specifically, not just taking interest in a guy who just so happens to be that age, or within this age range.
@hollyk21
You don't have to be a teen to be clueless, naive and immature. We all have been 20, clueless and naive, gullible, childlike. Don't act like you aren't aware of this. Especially at your age of 34
I never said you have to be a teen to have those traits.
It will work short term as the more desperate little boys will Fck you for sure , so for a short term banging you will enjoy , but also word will get out that they have all done you , it's good for them..
I had a 27 year old Cougar when I was 18 , it was great for me for a while..
Enjoy the sex with the boys , don't get caught !
I want to find a mature one and marry him. Young men are the hottest
99% of world's libido is just well-disguised mommy and daddy issues, no matter how good your parents were. I speak from my own embarrassing experience. 99% of people do not do shadow work, do not seek a "second birth", do not "stand at the cross", do not wrestle with the "lesser guardian of the threshold." As such, we just act out our programming and use our intellect to unknowingly excuse it.
Mommy issues are quite bad and a source of paranoia. Looking at:
Tolstoy: tormented his wife psychologically, all because his own mother died when he was an infant. Then gave away all his wealth so his own family doesn't get it, left an insulting letter for his wife and basically killed himself.
Jean-Jacques: called his older lover mommy during sex. When she distanced from his clinging shit, he entered severe paranoia believing all his friends and family were conspiring against him.
Obviously this is not an insult on their intelligence nor morality. You don't want to end up like that, do you?
Heal your issues. If you get a man with mommy issues, preemptively turn him toward healing too.
If you "trauma bond" with him, you will end up as something like the two men above.
I mean. My "crushes" have always been a little bit older than me. 2 years seemed good enough. Every single one of them. I was always acting like this vigorous rebel who works hard to please i don't even know whom.
I have commie tendencies like Jean-Jacques (wanting the collective humanity to be a mother figure) and i have mother-earth worship tendencies like Tolstoy. And i have a weird relationship with religion of chasing it but rejecting the structure that is there. Always did.
While i did not lose mother in infancy like the two did, my sister bottle fed me after school because mom would work until late night. And then she left the country before i went to kindergarten, and dad mocked me for needing a mother figure.
And no matter how down-to-earth and equality-chasing my personal philosophies have been, i ended up actually resembling the petty shit that these two famous influential philosophers did.
Watch out for kiddies misbehaving when you find one. And watch out for your own sake. The most mainstream system that can help deal with this is Carl Jung's system, i strongly recommend you to dig it and fix yourself, and your younger lover if you already found one.
To unfug myself, i pasted those mommy issues i wrote above into google.
![Is it weird for a 30-year-old woman to be attracted to 19–23-year-old guys?]()
Even though i tried studying healing philosophies including Carl Jung since i was 15. I still on this very website have, for years:
bashed others for resembling stalkers, for being "no-deaf", for ruining others' peace when ties are cut. Next thing i know, i have done all of these things myself, coincidentally, with good intentions, hoping i am helping.
We all need help. And I do not think it is just my cope: i think freud was right that 99% of adults have unresolved mommy and daddy issues (in a sense) because we follow our childhood programming.
What i mean is it might be objectively a good wake up call, not just me coping, to have the mommy issues severe enough for me to take action. Once i am freed from the programming, it is real spiritual work, i will have faced the "lesser guardian of the threshold". That's when occult powers only even become an option.
I think that's objectively true. It is a wake up call. To kill the programming. Almost nobody does.
And today i do find all my trash i posted recently just extremely boring. I don't know if that's progress or regress.
Ironically, i gain the kind of compassion that strengthens the soul when i view people's obsessions as their biggest oppressions.
Anyway i guess knowledge and study of these things is an absolute must. Soul work cannot be done without a rigorously applied knowledge base.
Hmm. The fact that she's 30 is very telling. At 28 it wouldn't be that weird. But the fact that she's the big 3-0 probably means she's stressing that she's getting older and this is her way of allowing herself to feel like young men can still be drawn to her.
I still look like I'm 25 so yea, young men can be drawn to me
Totally fine, but don’t take advantage of him. A lot of people my age are more naive than older people. On the other hand, a lot aren’t, so you can’t really generalize.
It is not weird. Some may be mature enough for a relationship with you. I'm sure they would love sex with a slightly older women!!!
From what I've seen, the mature ones don't tend to want girls younger than then
Not at all, I'm 24 and dating a 30 year old, I've always preferred dating older because people my age are less mature than I sometimes prefer, in terms of social intelect. Nothing wrong with liking someone of a different age
Not all younger men are immature.
It's not. It is different since usually men go for younger, but 30 doesn't qualify as cougar in my opinion.
I guess it depends on what it is you find attractive about them.
You just want to feel rejuvenated
For women its odd. for men it’s not