Is it weird for a 30-year-old woman to be attracted to 19–23-year-old guys?

[Anonymous]

30 years old attracted to 19 to 23 yr old boys who work af the beach club. Probably too immature for me but... can't help but be attracted. I feel somewhat like a pedophile. Tall, handsome, strong, wrinkle free, shiny head of hair, Probably still lives with his parents but I don't mind

[Niel777]

Not at all, I'm 24 and dating a 30 year old, I've always preferred dating older because people my age are less mature than I sometimes prefer, in terms of social intelect. Nothing wrong with liking someone of a different age

[Asker]

Not all younger men are immature.

[imemma12]

same I like older

[Alex-Snow]

It is not weird. Some may be mature enough for a relationship with you. I'm sure they would love sex with a slightly older women!!!

[Asker]

From what I've seen, the mature ones don't tend to want girls younger than then

[Alex-Snow]

Thanks for the MHO

[HollyK21]

If you don’t want to make it look weird or fetish-y then maybe start by calling them men instead of boys. The infantilization here is what adds the oddity.

[Asker]

They're not men. Physically they are but mentally they aren't

[WhitneySnow]

When you say stuff like that, it makes me take back my opinion and think yeah, something really weird is going on here

[Asker]

@WhitneySnow

No offense but If you think a 19 to 23 yr old is mentally a man. There is something wrong with you

[WhitneySnow]

I’m 20 and I’m a woman. But that’s not the point. The point is you like them BECAUSE you think they’re immature. And that’s really weird and kind of pedophilic, even if not legally.

[Asker]

@WhitneySnow

You dont realize how much you don't know.

I thought I was a grown adult at 20. Now that I'm 30, looking back at how much I have learned and grew since then. I wouldn't consider myself a full fledged adult back then

[Asker]

@WhitneySnow

18-22 is when you are adults in training. You are still learning the basics about the world and how it works. Most likely still at least immature in some sort of way. Still learning to adapt to the adult world

Unless you have held enormous responsibility at a very young age, it is near impossible for someone that young to be mature

[HollyK21]

Very spot on Whitney, per usual👍. Asker, I feel like you’re missing the point. It doesn’t matter if you find a guy immature, you shouldn’t be calling an adult male a boy. It comes off as suspicious when you are specifically taking interest in these men you essentially view as immature boys. I’m not sure how you don’t view that as even slightly problematic as a 30 year old.

[HollyK21]

Not to mention, you prefer them when they are pretty much straight out of being underage. I mean 19, still a teen. But that’s what you like, specifically, not just taking interest in a guy who just so happens to be that age, or within this age range.

[Asker]

@hollyk21

You don't have to be a teen to be clueless, naive and immature. We all have been 20, clueless and naive, gullible, childlike. Don't act like you aren't aware of this. Especially at your age of 34

[HollyK21]

I never said you have to be a teen to have those traits.

[molonski2]

It will work short term as the more desperate little boys will Fck you for sure , so for a short term banging you will enjoy , but also word will get out that they have all done you , it's good for them..

I had a 27 year old Cougar when I was 18 , it was great for me for a while..

Enjoy the sex with the boys , don't get caught !

[Asker]

I want to find a mature one and marry him. Young men are the hottest

[Anonymous]

99% of world's libido is just well-disguised mommy and daddy issues, no matter how good your parents were. I speak from my own embarrassing experience. 99% of people do not do shadow work, do not seek a "second birth", do not "stand at the cross", do not wrestle with the "lesser guardian of the threshold." As such, we just act out our programming and use our intellect to unknowingly excuse it.

[Opinion Owner]

Mommy issues are quite bad and a source of paranoia. Looking at:

Tolstoy: tormented his wife psychologically, all because his own mother died when he was an infant. Then gave away all his wealth so his own family doesn't get it, left an insulting letter for his wife and basically killed himself.

Jean-Jacques: called his older lover mommy during sex. When she distanced from his clinging shit, he entered severe paranoia believing all his friends and family were conspiring against him.

Obviously this is not an insult on their intelligence nor morality. You don't want to end up like that, do you?

Heal your issues. If you get a man with mommy issues, preemptively turn him toward healing too.

If you "trauma bond" with him, you will end up as something like the two men above.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean. My "crushes" have always been a little bit older than me. 2 years seemed good enough. Every single one of them. I was always acting like this vigorous rebel who works hard to please i don't even know whom.

I have commie tendencies like Jean-Jacques (wanting the collective humanity to be a mother figure) and i have mother-earth worship tendencies like Tolstoy. And i have a weird relationship with religion of chasing it but rejecting the structure that is there. Always did.

While i did not lose mother in infancy like the two did, my sister bottle fed me after school because mom would work until late night. And then she left the country before i went to kindergarten, and dad mocked me for needing a mother figure.

And no matter how down-to-earth and equality-chasing my personal philosophies have been, i ended up actually resembling the petty shit that these two famous influential philosophers did.

Watch out for kiddies misbehaving when you find one. And watch out for your own sake. The most mainstream system that can help deal with this is Carl Jung's system, i strongly recommend you to dig it and fix yourself, and your younger lover if you already found one.

[Opinion Owner]

To unfug myself, i pasted those mommy issues i wrote above into google.



Even though i tried studying healing philosophies including Carl Jung since i was 15. I still on this very website have, for years:

bashed others for resembling stalkers, for being "no-deaf", for ruining others' peace when ties are cut. Next thing i know, i have done all of these things myself, coincidentally, with good intentions, hoping i am helping.

We all need help. And I do not think it is just my cope: i think freud was right that 99% of adults have unresolved mommy and daddy issues (in a sense) because we follow our childhood programming.

What i mean is it might be objectively a good wake up call, not just me coping, to have the mommy issues severe enough for me to take action. Once i am freed from the programming, it is real spiritual work, i will have faced the "lesser guardian of the threshold". That's when occult powers only even become an option.

I think that's objectively true. It is a wake up call. To kill the programming. Almost nobody does.
And today i do find all my trash i posted recently just extremely boring. I don't know if that's progress or regress.

Ironically, i gain the kind of compassion that strengthens the soul when i view people's obsessions as their biggest oppressions.

Anyway i guess knowledge and study of these things is an absolute must. Soul work cannot be done without a rigorously applied knowledge base.

[Opinion Owner]

Celibacy is an essential part of the solution. But it is good ONLY IF FOR THE SOLE purpose of soul purification. Celibacy done for religious dogma, for a romantic fantasy, or lack of hot-enough partners is just a derailment.

If you actually honestly decide "the reason i am celibate is NOT because my options aren't tall and smart enough, and NOT because i struggle with attachment and want to prevent disasters, but solely for the real purification of my spiritual faculties..." then, suddenly something changes. That is the beginning of healing the mommy issues.

It is a bit paradoxical. Same outer action, totally different internal mechanism. Anyone who struggles finding "just the right one, just the one special enough" should change their program from "i will stay celibate until i find the right one" into "i will stay celibate to purify and evolve my soul, EVEN IF the so-called perfect unicorn shows up right now."

Only that will ever work. If you do not do the inner work, then even the unicorn will morph into a monster. You will morph into one. Why? Because you do this out of survival instincts. Which are fear based. So what will happen when the handsome guy gets old with you? You will cheat for another handsome guy. Don't fool yourself. I know you have good intentions but you are operating from something more deep-seated than conscious choices, which means your conscious choices will continue to be overriden by desires until you do the occult work.

[Opinion Owner]

I sort of wish @kvass could see this.

I am going back to square 1. I thought it's all about karma back in winter. I think it again. I mean even last week i did say "i chose to incarnate in such a situation..." but i still sounded like a victim. I want to strip that victimhood fully away.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. The fact that she's 30 is very telling. At 28 it wouldn't be that weird. But the fact that she's the big 3-0 probably means she's stressing that she's getting older and this is her way of allowing herself to feel like young men can still be drawn to her.

[Asker]

I still look like I'm 25 so yea, young men can be drawn to me

[WhitneySnow]

Totally fine, but don’t take advantage of him. A lot of people my age are more naive than older people. On the other hand, a lot aren’t, so you can’t really generalize.

[Badtobad]

Most people your age are more naive and immature than 30 year olds, so it's fair to generalise. She's a groomer.

[shoeboxcerealcard]

No. Numbers have nothing to do with attraction.

[LC75LC71]

It's not. It is different since usually men go for younger, but 30 doesn't qualify as cougar in my opinion.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

It's domineering, but whatever. Go ahead and redpill em.

[LiamS95]

I guess it depends on what it is you find attractive about them.

[Danny_dan92]

You just want to feel rejuvenated

[Badtobad]

That's creepy and weird getting rejuvenated by barely legal men 🤢

[Asker]

It's just physical attraction, mentally there probably won't be much attraction. It would be abnormal for any 30 yr old to mentally be attracted to a 20 yr old.

[Danny_dan92]

Well, I fucked a woman that was older than me by quite a bit. She told me that it made her feel young again to sleep with a man that was younger than her

[Asker]

@danny_dan92

That's old women. Old saggy women want to feel beautiful and desired by someone much hotter than her

I'm only 30, not that old yet. I still look 25.

[Danny_dan92]

Ok..

[Badtobad]

@anonymous I agree, sorry about that.

[Danny_dan92]

Hi badtobad.

I saw your opinion, are you stupid or something? Cause here in my opinion you’re agreeing with her yet in your opinion you called her behavior odd…

[Danny_dan92]

And that she has issues

[Badtobad]

Yes it's odd. You have issues.

[Iron_Man]

For women its odd. for men it’s not

[imemma12]

if you want to go out then ok

[DirtyOldMan777]

it's normal