As a woman, do you really teach men how to treat you in dating?

[MissSunshine2]

I used to be overly sweet and accommodating to men that I was interested in, being overly available and attentive, showering them with love and gifts and making it really easy for them to have emotional support and intimacy, which they didn’t seem to appreciate or want. Even after showing signs of interest initially.


I realised that I was being taken for granted and that these guys were trying to hold me in reserve and go out and sleep with and commit to other women. Now I’ve stopped being so nice all the time and started not being a bitch, but making men who aren’t established friends or relatives earn my
respect and affection and time and it seems to be working a lot better. Three of them started respecting me better and I seem to be doing better in terms of getting to know men for dating.

[SueShe]

I cannot speak from experience but a minimum of teaching is necessary. Being overly friendly tends to send out the wrong signal as you have so nicely mentioned it.

I don't date myself but if I was into dating, then I would have to ensure that those men understand where the limits are and how not to cross them, to be respectful and not to treat women as simple objects or to sexualize them.

You cannot really teach a man things he does not want or is not capable of learning if he was not given rules from childhood.

In today's world, lack of the most basic education reflects and impacts how they treat women as adults. It is very difficult to change the attitude if they have not been made aware of how to properly treat other humans.

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2 Same here 💕

[sage2021]

@_Jenny_ Same here. It's because it's in our nature to treat them that way because we were too damn nice.

Society has taught us to treat people the same way that you want to be treated and that's how we got tangled in that spider web. 🕸️

How are we supposed to be our natural selves and not be a doormat?

When someone comes over to my house, I am a good hostess. I make them feel comfortable because then it makes me feel comfortable.

But hey, if being nice and accommodating only makes us appear to be clingy when that's not the case - sure, we can just sit there with our arms folded and I guess they have shown up to be that way.

Maybe they grew up in a barn and don't even know that we are just nice and giving women.
💕

[_Jenny_]

@sage2021 that’s right sister 💕

[Effably]

At the beginning of any social interaction you always communicate how you expect to be treated.

Learning to do that consciously is a big deal. Professionaly abd privately. Even just learning to choose between sexy and intimidating or nerdy and trustworthy was an interesting experience to me. Surprisingly easy!

Think back to your teachers. Some were taken seriously, some had to scream, others had students behaving when they glanced over. Controlling perception is powerful.

It is also much more satisfying to just send out signals for what you should be seen like and seeing what people make of it. Sometimes people have very interesting reactions.

[Anonymous]

Most guys don't trust clingy girls. You have to set boundaries.

You can let people doormat you like that because they will think you have no respect for yourself.

If someone comes to your house and puts their feet up on table everyone else will do it because they know you're not going to do nothing about it.

[EmmaMary]

I'm not one to teach, train or to try changing a man in any shape, form or fashion.

If he's not got the maturity or basics of life by now, then I'm not prepared to waste my time him.

[EmmaMary]

* with him *

[Nikki1989]

Nah. If he needs teaching, he is not worth being with.

[Kvass]

Nope only adult men please. The rest of those clueless fools can go back to their mommies

[beenherebefore]

I don't teach. I set boundaries and he does something I did not like I let him know how it made me feel.

[slatyb]

We establish boundaries and people either respect them or we say goodbye.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Some women do and there is nothing wrong with doing that

[Paige2006]

They better know!