Would you date somebody who says they are “best friends” with their ex, who they have a child with?

[Staximus]

I want to ask this girl out on a date but she said something that makes me suspicious; which is that she’s best friends with her ex who is the father of her teenage son. She also said that they do lots of stuff together with their son.

[HollyK21]

I’ll start by saying that if the kid is under 10 then this woman’s dynamic with her ex could be viewed as a red flag. Mainly because the child isn’t that old, meaning their history wasn’t very long ago and this could (subconsciously or even unofficially) be their way of working through a rough patch before ultimately getting back together.


Aside from that, I’d say it is not necessarily a bad idea to date someone in this situation, just fairly complex. On one hand, having a healthy relationship with her kids father is most ideal, it can show maturity and great coparenting. However, I do think it could lead to complicated boundaries, which basically means you’d always have to share space and time with her ex. Since he’s here to stay, and they’re best friends, you’d have to be comfortable with their constant communication, family events, etc.


All this to say, communication would be key in your ultimate decision to date her. Talk openly with her about what their friendship looks like, along with birthdays, holidays, try to understand as much as possible about their connection. I’d also get an idea of what my specific concerns were, so that you can better decide if her answers either impact or quell those concerns.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maintaining a civil relationship with the father of her child would be admirable. Being his "best friend" is highly suspect. Proceed if you must, but don't ever expect to be the #1 or #2 priority in her life.

[NathanDavis]

personally... I am not "suspicious" of people

I ask and I do get to know them... two of my exes are best friends of mine, not because we have kids together but, we went to school together and been friends for a lifetime so...

don't just "suspect" people... get to know them well enough, then decide on your own, lol

[Kassandra1994]

Do not waste your time. One of my clients came in for a spiritual cleansing turns out the woman was cheating on him. I have seen a lot of caes where the woman will still be involve with the dude especially if they have a kid together.

Save yourself the headeck. My advice get a woman who does not have kids at all. You do not need that mess.

[Badtobad]

Sounds like a perfect woman for you

[Staximus]

I don’t think so Tim

[canamlusciouslad73]

Of course not !!!

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn’t.

[KostasKouvalis]

NO WAY

[dudeinohio]

Deal-breaker