Would you date a slightly feminine straight male?

[ltmcneill]

So this guy I am dating is great. fifth date down and we are suppose to be going out this Friday. He is a little feminine. Not overly feminine. but just more than what I am used to. For example, he crosses his legs when he sits. I asked him if he were 100% straight, and he said yes. He says he has gay friends, female friends, straight friends, but has never been attracted to a guy. He said he had no reason to lie about it, Because he is completely tolerant of homosexuality but just isn't gay. men aren't his thing. He is a beautiful man, and because he is a tad bit feminine in actions he gets hit on by men all the time.

I have an incredible connection with this guy...should I let this stand in teh way of a possible love interest? Any women ever dated slightly feminine men?

Updates

+1 y

He has a lot of female friends who absolutely love him and want to be with him...well in the past, and I can see why. He is so darn great, easy to talk to, no games or typical guys sh*t, and a gentleman...gosh this is a hard decision! I can see why his female friends would fall for him, I gotta think on this.

Updates

+1 y

I am sorry but I think some of the comments by the females were just rude. I have met men who play football, are very masculine who are gay. You really never know. I really don't think he is gay, he is way to comfortable with himself to lie. I would be alarmed if he had a strong hate for homosexuals in my experience that screams "down low"

Updates

+1 y

President obama crosses his legs, so I guess that means he is gay?

[Matrim]

I think he just needs a group of manly guys to hang out with. We humans are great at adopting to all kinds of environments and our brain even picks up things from people we hang out with so that we fit more in. Its something that most of us do without realizing... Some people can't do it at all and makes them feel like they don't belong and and stuff. If your man socialize a lot with homosexuals and girls it would explain it. So if you have friends that play basketball or do manly stuff you should nudge him to hang out with them a little bit. It would balance him out so that he has a bit of both worlds lol.

For sometime I had enough of my male friends and decided to only hang with girls, to understand them better and to just see how it was. With time I noticed that I started doing somethings and worrying about somethings that I never did before. So I have little bit of experience with that.

If he does hang with manly guys for a few months and he doesn't change a little bit in the details then maybe its just his natural self and if you don't like it you don't like it. No point in making him something he naturally isn't,

[Matrim]

Many educated men crosses their legs, so do I (not that I'm that educated, couple months till I'm done with college so..). The dude is not gay if he says he isn't so people saying he is gay are just ignorant fools.

[GAB61]

Your an idiot. Crossing your legs has nothing to do with who he wants to have sex with.

[GAB61]

Its doesn't make any difference you hang out with. We are born who we are sexually attracted to. And it is completely different as to how we act. Which also born in us.

[PrivateProtege]

I can relate
Raised by single mum who despised men but raised me to be a ‘gentleman’ , oldest of 5 sisters, labelled gay through school, only hung with the girls, hairdresser at 18
I’m much older now but at no time in my life was I attracted to men or thought I was gay. I can assure you he’s not gay and comfortable with who he is, he’s fine with how people perceive him and is used to people thinking he’s gay.
Should you date him? If you’re genuinely interested then yes you should. If it don’t work out you will still find a great friend who supports you.
Things you should consider would be.
He doesn’t need to ‘man up’ and doesn’t want to. He won’t go out with the ‘boys’. The females in his life are important to him, he will connect with woman easily and continue to do so.
He would understand a woman’s needs mentally and physically better than most but hardest part for you will be the other woman in his heart that he can’t give up.
Good luck

[Elaren12]

what do you mean the other woman in his heart he can’t give up?

[Anonymous]

It depends on your tolerance for feminine tendencies. I dated this guy who sounded like the guy you described and a couple times when we went out people would come up and ask him if he was gay. To which he politely said he wasn't. He was nice but a little too feminine for me to the point where I felt like the guy! We decided to just stay friends, Then a year later he got into a relationship with a new girl and they've been together for 2 years! So it depends on you, if you think you can tolerate his feminine side then absolutely go for it! :)

[amatuer_zombie]

so you actually broke off?coz he was effeminate?

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Nope he really sounds on the down low, that's probably why other gay men ask him. Like that would really be saying something. And to go into emphasis about not needing to lie about not being gay sounds a little suspicious any other man even with feminine tendancies would've just left it at no and not an indepth discussion. Like I know my dad has feminine tendancies but not to that extent. Like there's Metro and then there's on the low... But maybe just play it a little farther and gather your opinion.

[ltmcneill]

ACTUALLY MOST DOWNLOW MEN are homophobic and go overboard with proclaiming not to be gay.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Some don't have to be though. And you made it sound like his answer was indepth about not being gay like I have both gay and non gay guy friends and usually it's a straight yes or no. Like you're asking for peoples opinions and we're giving them to you. I'm just speaking and incorporating from my experience. But ga head try asking him again and see if he gets upset. If he doesn't get upset then most likely he might not be.

[InkBunBun]

I don't see a problem with it if you like each other, i don't get why this seems so hard to understand. Id appreciat a guy for being himself and not tell him what he is or isn't, thats idiotic. Like telling someone a pumpkin is an apple just because there similar in a way dosnt make it the same. My opinion is to stay with him and see where it goes if he's as great a guy as you say dosnt it seem silly to think of leaving him for that?

[johnny_hustle]

If you really like the guy and have the opportunity to be with him, the do so. It's really that simple, but then again I'm a guy so I guess I don't really understand how this kind of thing could get in the way. I can see him being feminine as a turn off or something that would increase your chance of not connecting with him, but since you have already connected with him then I really don't see the problem. That's just me, though.

[Anonymous]

I am a 100% heterosexual male. I can go shopping with my wife. And can pick out clothes for any woman. I can decorate any home. I can clean the house. I can do the laundry. I can talk to women about women things. I don't like to play sports. I don't like to hunt. I'm ONLY sexually attracted females. NEVER sexually attracted males. I hang out with "regular" guys that play sports and hunt.. It doesn't make any different who you are around most. growing up or as adult. I have had lots of women attracted to me. Go for it. You can have a best friend and sex partner together. My wife thinks it is great.

[Anonymous]

well you really have to see if it makes you uncomfortable in the long run. if it really doesn't bother you and you are only asking because it is something you "should" think about, then don't worry about it. but if you are asking because deep down it bothers you, that is something to think about.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

i've never dated a guy who was on the feminine side. I used to have a crush on a guy that had slightly feminine mannerisms but then I started wondering if he was secretly bisexual. I don't know I prefer manly men . however if a guy has gay friends I think he's gay because I don't know any straight men who would hang with a gay dude unless they were gay themselves

but if you like him then go for it. different things for different ppl

[johnny_hustle]

How's it gay for a guy to hang out with a gay guy?

I will say this, there can be a straight guy who has some pretty blatant feminine qualities, and at the same time there can be a gay guy who can have very manly qualities. Which when you think about it like this, then the feminine straight guy would probably get along with women better as just friends, while the manly gay guy would more than likely get along with manly straight guys better as just friends.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I'm not saying that means he's gay, but I don't know straight guys who hang out with known gay guys. they just don't do it. And there are plenty of gay men who are manly, but I just don't know straight guys who would hang out with a guy they knew was gay.

[Kb9647]

Really? I'm a straight guy and one of my best friends is a gay guy. It's not like he's trying to fuck me, it literally doesn't matter

[goflipaburger]

i would :)

he doesn't need to fit the cookie cutter definition of "masculine" for me to know he's a man.

[Kain6th]

Cool *flashes chest*

[SkinnyG]

I haven't dated one but I worked with a guy that everyone thought was gay but he wasn't. I loved talking to him though. He would give honest answers for my clothes, hair, makeup, etc...He dressed nice but not too gay but his mannerisms were really gay. I don't think I could have dated him (he was also married with 2 kids) even if he wasn't married. But I did like him a lot.

I just don't think I could do the feminine guy thing.

[Anonymous]

Crossing legs? Totally gay. Somebody get this fruit a feather boa and a village people cd. According to modern theories of attraction women are attracted to men for a mix of genetic benefits and resource benefits. Clearly you are less attracted to him physically because of his less masculine nature. What does he do for a living?

[ltmcneill]

I am actually very very attracted to him. I guess I just kinda cared what other thought a little. He is not feminine to the ponit were he seems less manly, just the leg crossing thing.

[GAB61]

Your an idiot. Crossing your legs has nothing to do with who he wants to have sex with.

[Prof_Don]

Absolutely not...if you feel a connection, then I say go for it.

I frankly don't understand what's stopping you here. Don't pass up a good thing due to close-mindedness about "how a man should be".

[pbima]

i think if you have that special connection and your turned on by the idea of being with him sexually than stay with him. If your not than you may not be right for each other.

[starlight124]

I would, there's nothing wrong with being a not feminine

[moviedude714]

weird, I thought the definition of feminine according to society, life, culture, and in the minds of women, girls, is a guy that does not take the lead, is not aggressive, is passive

[Anonymous]

How can a guy cross his legs and find that comfortable? My nut sack gets cramped. Anyways why not if he's straight.

[Anonymous]

Nope-my ex was though. One reason we're not together anymore.

[gegegevtfpor]

lol, I'd rather just feck another girl

[ziggler]

gross.

[gegegevtfpor]

aren't you that guy who hates girl on on girl? you gay?

[SkinnyG]

Try it out then. What do you have to lose?

[Anonymous]

Not really, but you're a cute dude.