Told the girl I like her, she said "we need to know each other better first."

[Anonymous]

I've known of this girl for a few years but never spoken to her. Last month, I had a chat with her and fell for her instantly and since then we've met up a few times, been texting each other and getting to know each other.

Today, I told her that I like her and she let me down gently by saying that she "hasn't really had enough time to get to know me yet." I took it as straight-out rejection, but thinking back on it now it seems like it could become something positive... All I have to do is spend more time with her and get to know each other better?

Now that it's out in the open, I've been a bit more jokey about how I feel about her too... like... I'll invite her out and say "it's a date, by the way" and wink or something playful.

What should I be looking to do now? I feel like I still want to pursue her because she's really amazing but I don't know whether there might be something for us in the future or whether she was just sugar-coating her answer to let me down easy, and actually she'll never feel any different about me even if we got really close.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for your answers, guys. I think I'm going to stick at it for a while longer. She's fun to hang around and I'd like to get to know her more anyway - worst case scenario is we don't end up dating but I've made a really good friend with a lot of common interests, right?

[relationshipDNA]

Um...I'm sorry. Perhaps I didn't get the memo. Isn't the point of dating suppose to be about getting to know each other better? You go out, hang out...and talk. You didn't ask for her hand in marriage. So yah...I think you're initial gut that this was a flat out rejection was spot on. I also think she's a pro at let downs, which is why you've been able to talk your way into thinking there could possibly be a chance with her down the line.

Hey, I believe you should go for what you want even when you don't get it at first. Like the fact that you haven't allowed her to forget you're interested by hinting its a date and being playful and flirty. She might try to stick you in the friend zone if you don't keep it up. I say keep at it. At the end of the day, you have to gauge how important it is to have her in your life. Is it enough to be her friend if it comes to that?

Hope she gives you that chance, in the meantime, don't sit around like a bean bag hoping it happens for you. Make yourself attractive and wanted by other women. We hate it when someone tries to play with our toy, even if tossed it to the side.

I wish you luck in love!

[xxsweetiex]

Just let he take the lead you did the job by telling her you like her now it's up to her whether she wants you or not. Just keep hanging out with her but do NOT come on to strong. Because sometimes when a guy tells me he likes me and I don't know them to well they act jokingly about it like saying whenever we hang out is a date and it sometimes bugs me. But hang out with her friends and your friends.

[Mesonfielde]

Hey, you guys still talk to each other, right? If she really was all out on dismissing you, she'd do her best not to provide any opportunities for you to get to know each other.

So don't worry, you've realized the right thing: she means what she means, meaning you just have to spend time with each other, and see if you're compatible and all. Just stop thinking of it as a chase, and just have a good time with her when she's around - the point is that you shouldn't be doing all this to make her fall for you, you should just be yourself and if she'll like you for it, then she will. Meaning, just don't get way too obsessed.

Note, your jokes are fine, carry on. :P

[Asker]

Awesome, thank you. That was what I felt before, it always felt like a chase before I told her and now that she knows, it feels so much more chilled and easier to talk to her too, which is great. But I do enjoy her company a lot so it should be pretty easy to just be myself around her. Thank you! :)

[Mesonfielde]

As to your update: Exactly! :D

[foolycooly1001]

I'd say ask her out in a month.

[Asker]

Just give her time to think about it now and see how she feels in a few weeks?

[foolycooly1001]

Well in a month, if she says no, she'll have to give you a different excuse. Then you'll know whether or not you should give up.

[Asker]

good call, thank you!

[Vvk92]

Do whatever your heart wants