My boyfriend said he needs time to think about us, what is going to happen?

[deannab91]

Me and my boyfriend (or a guy I have been dating) for the last 2 months got angry with me because I got sad that he did nothing for or with me for Valentine's day. He said that my being sad made him feel like sh*t. He says I shouldn't be jealous of other girls getting flowers or chocolates because I have had him for two months. He told me that I made him feel like sh*t and now he needs time to think about us. I asked him if he was going to end the relationship, he said he doesn't know. I told him that I don't want him to leave me, that I don't want the relationship to end and he told me "thats not your decision to make". He has not spoken to me since the 15th. Then on the 16th, I asked him in a text if he was willing or ready to talk, he said "you really don't listen do you? I said I will talk when I am ready not when you want me to" and he didn't reply after that. I didn't talk to him on the 17th. Then on the 18th I sent a long text telling him that I was sorry for making him feel like sh*t and that I wasn't just sad over V-day but also over personal things going on. I told him I cared about him so much and that if I could take back what happened I would. He replied by saying that he cares for me but he can't believe I got upset over a date that really has no business being celebrated (in a round-a-bout way). He then asked me how my mother was doing (since she had surgery...this is why I was upset). I told him I missed him, he said he missed me to. I asked if we were going to break up he said that he hasn't decided it yet. I asked if we were talking again and he said no.

I don't know what to do. I really like being with him and I am afraid that I might be falling in love with him. However I hate the fact that he is making me feel guilty for getting emotional. This is the first time in our relationship that I have shown an emotion other than happiness and glee and he is doing this.

What is wrong? what's going to happen? by the way today is the 19th, and he has not texted or called me.

Updates

+1 y

I just ended it. I feel so much better. :)

[walter89]

I just read from half of your story, seems he doesn't love you. If he felt love he wouldn't say " I don't know". He is actually pushing you away. He isn't man enough to tell you.

I am different I am not a guy they way he is. I give reasons why we break up. Like my past relationship, my ex didn't want to be fair. She wanted me to pay every single thing. I asked her "will you ever be fair 50/50, for example on movies, ill buy the tickets and you buy the food or we switch places and take turns but at least we will enjoy our movie" she said, " no, guys should always pay for the female" This gave me an idea in the future. My ex hated to be thinking over the future and planning. I even gave her chances to think about it, we went 3 arguments over the same subject.

Anyways, my point is he is not man enough, to step up and tell you why, instead saying I don't know, when the reality he knows.

[deannab91]

with the whole idea of going 50/50, I am all for that. I have spent or paid for full dates (movie, lunch, and diner) sometimes, so that isn't a problem. And we have yet to argue. He has told me that he is not looking for anything serious right now, and I was okay with that. But before this whole Valentine's day fiasco, he would talk about us in the future (like 2 or three months from now) so he definietly made it seem as if he wanted this to work. This is the first relationship that I have been i

[walter89]

You are a cool chick *double high five* but not saying the female has to pay every time, mostly is the man. When a guy is very serious he may asked you if you are a fair person.

But sweetie he already told you, he is not looking anything serious. Why you are okay with it? I mean really sweetie, sorry may sound really uncomfortable, just to use you? Another thing you are 21 and I am 23. We are both young we have plenty of time, so don't rush and don't think that the first guy is your man.

[krisann]

I think that is wrong and I know how it feels, because my boyfriend is doing the same thing to me. It is the most selfish thing to do and he shouldn't be pputting you through this pain. I am still deciding what to do as well because I am in so much pain my boyfriend said he wanted to take it slow after a year, because I wanted a break for 2 weeks because he was being inconsistant. Now he's dooing it back to me but I though we were over it and I am crushed. He said he will tell me when we can see each other and it went from every night almost seeing each other to this. Its a control thing they do and I think we start to blame ourselves. Sometimes its better to end it yes its hard I still struggle but in the long run itl be less pain. There's nothing worse then having someone you love pull away and hurt you so deeply.

[deannab91]

Yeah, I've talked to some guy friends about it and they all say that he is either feeling guilty for not doing anything for v-day for me, and they also say that he may not be ready for a relationship. Since we started dating we have literally spent every weekend together and we even took a trip together...all in the timeframe of 2 months. Also he is a little bit older than me...32 and I am 21. I am used to dating guys older than me, and that is kind of what I have been brought up to do.

[krisann]

Yea its still sad for someone to do this to another person. My boyfriend tells me he loves me and its not about breaking up and he would tell me, but it sure doesn't feel good. I think text sucks in this situation and he needs to tell you in person or at least of the phone.. Its already painful enough feeling like your hanging on to someone that doesn't feel like they want to be there. Maybe tell him you guys need to have a conversation one on one.

[Anonymous]

Hate to say this but he's probably thinking about breaking up. I mean if you need time to assess the relationship that you're in it means that you haven't been paying attention to what's been going on.

[Anonymous]

he's being a jerk, he doesn't appreciate you. I would move on.