His plans don't seem to include me & I wouldn't be on this website if I weren't ready to give up.

Anonymous
#1. What Does it mean if a guy, over 40, who you've dated for over 2 years says he isn't sure he wants to get married?

#2. What should I do here? I've been dating a guy for 2 years , we are over 40, he doesn't want to get married..I guess. Yet he wants to remain in the relationship & tells me he does not want to see anyone else, that he isn't trying to date anyone else either he claims we need to ..."work on things" as he often puts it. We live thousands of miles apart & when he comes here to visit me , he does not discuss any plan to get geographically closer nor does he mention our future together.

He was here again after not seeing me for a year, after almost losing me when I decided to quit waiting for him to commit or want to marry me. He told me that he could change his mind about wanting to marry me , that he can't understand why he doesn't want to marry me. He claims he hasn't dated much & isn't sure..that I have much more experience having been married before and dated before.

#3 What does the man think of a woman who remains in this type of relationship., Does he think I love him or is he taking advantage of me intentionally?

#4 About 4 months ago I suggested to him , seriously and rather strongly (not Bluffing) that we should end our relationship because I want a husband and a commitment and he does not truly seem to want that. His response was " You know I don't want this relationship to end". I love you but I am not sure that I want to marry you.

Okay. I am not nearly perfect but I will tell you that I have remained faithful as in no sex & little contact with other men while in a distance relationship with my current boyfriend..he and I talk everyday...about everything. He did just come visit me but I feel that he is still looking for something better. I am the best that he will find in this world. I have been there for him, constant & even when he strayed away with someone he met online I told him I loved him and wanted to continue our relationship.

Now he still seems uncertain. After completing Tech school he accepted a job hours from his family and even further from me..

he lives alone in a one br apt. by choice constantly buying nick nacks and getting furniture from friends to make his place a home.

I am hurt but also a little bothered by the fact that his plans don't seem to include me & I wouldn't be on this website if I weren't ready to give up.

Mostly I don't understand how he won't let me go when it looks as if he doesn't want to commit to me as a husband. I have a daughter who deserves a real father in her life. He comes here, seems to care about her . Treats us great and stays in my home,in my bed. Then gets to the airport and begins to act distant .

His life seems to revolve around his friends , most of whom are married or in relationships themselves.

I don't want to be too lengthy with this. Just trying to better understand what is going on with our relationship.

Thank You :)
Updates:
+1 y
I just can't believe there are actually men (and women) who gain the trust of people they lost, tell them they love them but still choose to live their lives seperate and are unable to committ.

I don't suppose my relationship can be salvaged and it breaks my heart because I will continue to love him. If you are in a relationship with someone who loves you and you know you love them. Imagine your life without that person. Be honest enough with them to tell them and don't waste their precious time.
+1 y
btw/ Virginia is far from Wisconsin but not thousands of miles away. my mistake

His plans don't seem to include me & I wouldn't be on this website if I weren't ready to give up.
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