My Guy Friend And I Were Close But Now He's Distant?

I've known the guy over a year. Its common knowledge that I don't date and I always repeat it to people who are just getting to know me so that if they do end up with feelings for me, they know its a dead end. Well, we eventually became close and he did admit that he had a thing for me. Naturally I told him that I didn't want those feelings to come between our close friendship and that I wanted us to carry on as we had been. So for months after him admitting he liked me, we still remained close and would lay together and watch movies and comment on all kinds of various subjects.

A close friendship was something that I had been looking for and I thought we were fairly content. I thought that if I were attentive enough, that he wouldn't feel the need to leave. But eventually he stopped staying over and although I continued to text and message him as per usual, his replies became more and more brief, if my messages were even answered at all. I didn't understand why he was distancing himself like this when I had told him to tell me if our relationship began to bother him in any way.

Then he began getting closer to another friend of his, also a girl, but apparently neither of them like each other whatsoever in a boyfriend/girlfriend sort of way. This has been proven many times. So, why then were they becoming nearly as close as him and me had been. I don't understand that. That close friendship that they have now is exactly what I had wanted between us. All of my friends tell me that he still likes me but no matter how hard I try to reestablish our close connection, I don't feel like I'm getting through.

It could be that he's mad at me for not being the dating sort. It could be that once it sunk in that I wasn't going to date him, spending time with me was no longer worth the effort. But why then would he create a close friendship with another girl solely for friendship? Its can't be rebound. There's no attraction there. This is where I get confused.

Note: I've been attempting to bridge this gap for months. This is not necessarily recent.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's pretty much impossible (though I've seen it happen, maybe once) for a close relationship between opposite sexes to exist when there is an one-sided attraction. It sounds like he and this girl don't like each other, but get along well, so they can keep a non-awkward relationship.

  • What do you suppose him to do? Stay as friends with you, while he know he has no chance with you? The more he talks to you, the more he will fall in love with you. He we only get more and more hurt. Do you want that to happen to him? Give him some time to get over you.

    • He's being a dumbass and an asshole just like all men are dumbasses and assholes. How, might you ask? Well men lack the ability to see the gray areas, much less live in the gray areas. All they see is black and white. (Black and white meaning dating or not dating as opposed to gray being close friendships). If you take away a mans chance of ever having sex again, he'll panic and refuse to be in such a relationship. Therefore, no matter how righteous a man is, he is run by his dick and is a dick.

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    • Squeee! I'm excited! -dances- Sadly he had to leave early cause his ride wasn't feeling good. What I really need to do, is be able to set it up so we can hang out outside of game night. Been a long time though.

    • =), I think this questions has no continuing relvance to what we are talking about. However, if you need advise, just message me here or something anytime! I'll try to the best of my abilities. Though, it seems like you got it down already =P. Congratz.. Anyways, it's good that ur taking a chance, I hope everything works well for you =)

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