Why is he so nice and mean at the same time?!

[Anonymous]

I reallyy like this guy. He is so nice at times and is just about everything I would want in a boyfriend. But, sometimes I really don't like him because he will go a week without texting me and just pick up where we left off. I have no problem with that but by then I have already talked myself out of pursuing a relationship with him and try to just think of him just as a friend. Once he starts texting me, ofcourse I end up going back to liking him again. Its just back and forth and I'm sick of it. I don't know what to do.

Updates

+1 y

I talk myself out of not liking him because I feel like he is too busy for me and doesn't take enough interest in me. I feel like he only sees me as a friend.

[Anonymous]

"sometimes I really don't like him because he will go a week without texting me and just pick up where we left off."

That's not being mean, that's being a guy.

That's when he's having those moments where he needs his space, and he metaphorically retreats to his cave. When he comes out again, so to speak, he naturally wants to carry on from where he left off.

His feelings about you and the relationship won't have changed.

Men need this space, from time to time. It's just biology.

[Asker]

Thanks. I understand he needs space, I need space too sometimes but I feel like he needs to make up his mind.

[Opinion Owner]

His mind is already made up.

You're looking at this the wrong way, because you think if he makes up his mind, then this behavior will stop.

It won't. This is guy behavior.

He won't just decide to not be a guy anymore.

The fact that he comes back to you, and expects the relationship to continue where it left off, is as much proof as you can get that he's already made his mind up regarding you.

It won't improve anymore than that.

[Asker]

that sucks..

[Opinion Owner]

That's guys.

You want 24 hour a day conversation, get a girlfriend.

[Asker]

i dont. I said I need space too, that would actually get annoying if we talked that much. I get it. I just wish he would tell me if he wants something more than a friendship or not..otherwise I'm totally confused. I don't know if he's just a friend, or not.

[Opinion Owner]

Ask him. He'll tell you. Then you just need to believe him. If you don't believe him when he tells you, well, that's really more your problem.

[Asker]

Ok, yeah that sounds good. Ill just come straight out and ask him. That's the best way to get a straight forward answer too. I wanna get straight to the point, tired of playing games. Thanks for your help.

[XRabbitHeartX]

He's a hot and cold type of person that's inconsistent and expects you to just go with his way of doing things. People like this seldom if EVER change and I'd ask myself whether it's really worth being with someone like this who can't just be consistent. For me personally, it's a deal-breaker. I can't stand inconsistent people and therefor won't date such a person either. I get that you like this guy but just understand that he won't change...

[Asker]

Thank you for reminding me of that, that is true. If this is just the beginning, I don't want to be in a relationship like this.

[XRabbitHeartX]

thank you for BA girl :)