Too stressed out to date. How can I fix this?

[Anonymous]

So I have a horrible record I think three gf's and the relationships only lasted about a week. They all wanted to break up for some stupid reason. "like I think we should be friends." "You acted weird when we held hands " typical nice guy finishes last story. So I'm always stressed because I never even kissed a girl. I try to ignore and suppress this because I've tried and tried to get a nice girlfriend. But as I get older and older I get more stressed because I have so little experience. Help!

[FrozenFire782]

Calm down, you'll be fine. I promise you already have a lot more experience than you think just because you've gotten 3 girls to go out with you, so bravo. True, all girls are different in what they prefer but one thing that a HUGE number of women share is that they just want to know you like them, think they're beautiful, enjoy the time you spend with them, etc. Awkwardness can even help in this because 1) personally, it's adorable and 2) if you're struggling to talk to them and find the right words, that in itself shows you care about them because you're taking the time to try to do things right. Also, if you have questions, ASK! If you ask them, "does this feel ok?" or "do you enjoy this?", they know you're trying to make them feel good and that scores you big points. I notice your age is 18-24 so your chances are much higher automatically (it'd be harder if you were 50 and your skin was starting to sag...)Trying to learn about someone and date them is like taking a leap of faith and knowing that a soft landing is never guaranteed. ;)

[bettyboopdog]

so they're your girlfriend in a week? Be an extra bold funny charming version of yourself when your with them.. go for a kiss on date one or two.. don't fall for the idea of wanting a girlfriend or be overly invested so early.. go for a kiss by the end of date 2, it will kick a girl into liking you if she's going to ever.. and take at least 3 weeks of dating at a minimum before you ask her to be your girlfriend.. also don't call or text constantly or put yourself down or be cocky..

[Anonymous]

I'm reading your question and I wish I could help and give you an easy answer but I don't have one. All I know is that I understand what you mean because I also feel like I'm too stressed out to date even when there are guys now paying attention to me, it's very hard for me.

[Prof_Don]

Dating should be enjoyable, not stressful (although I know that's easier said than done).

Imo, I think that when it comes to women, you put too much pressure on yourself to come off as "perfect". I used to do the same thing, too.

Changing this stressful mindset, requires a mentality change from "impressing her"...to "enjoying socializing with her".

When you focus on the socialization with her, instead of trying to "impress" her or "woo" her, just focusing on having fun with her and enjoying her company (and thus getting to know her).

Having this mindset will take the pressure off of you...it works for me! :)

[bassman]

You care too much man. You have to go into dating not caring what the girl thinks of you. Treat each girl with respect. Don't be a jerk, and don't be a "nice" guy. If you are stressed out, then you're just wasting your time dating. Women will see right through you. A stress out person is not attractive. You've gotta figure out how YOU can relax, and have fun with it. Sure the whole dating game sucks...but when you find the right one , it'll be worth it. Being alone sucks worse than the stress of dating.

[Anonymous]

Don't be nice, start being a jerk. Won't work with the girls you know already, but new girls you meet, will fall for the standard mind games jerks play. Like don't respond to her texts right away, let her wonder, come to GAG, then respond. Rarely give out compliments. Don't call her. Be curt, abrupt, aloof. Let her overanalyze and second guess you.

Granted the quality of girl, at least quality of her personality anyway, may not be high, but you'll have girls, and you'll have sex.

Here's the real meaning of nice:

No

Inter-

Course,

Ever.

[secretloveboy]

Love this response...

[PoeticNinja]

Get yourself an escort.

[PoeticNinja]

It's effective. He gets p****, no more stress. Everyone wins.

[Asker]

Then I get herpes lol.

[PoeticNinja]

No, escorts are pretty much safe and clean of diseases.

[secretloveboy]

Probably cheaper to hire an escort for one hour than dating a woman for whole month

[TheUglyOne]

In some European countries, they're unionized and must be periodically tested.

[Prof_Don]

T.C., I think he's talking about "dating" experience, not "sexual" experience! :-P

[Anonymous]

get a hot bod!